I'm thinking of buying protective coverings for all my windows

I shutter to think of the cost

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📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.

It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.

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📅︎ Aug 11 2020
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Going Viral
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👤︎ u/maisy1st
📅︎ Mar 05 2020
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The whole family got new phones. All of us bought Otter Boxes to protect our investment, except my teenage daughter who got a Hello Kitty cover with no screen protector.

It was a worst case scenario.

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👤︎ u/acemask
📅︎ Mar 30 2018
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A king was looking to protect his secret maze...

...so he called in his court wizard to devise a means of defense. The wizard set to work at once. First, he wove a net, tightly so that nothing could escape. Then he traveled to the nearby lake.

For three days, he went to the edge of a dock, and cast his net into the water. Each time, he collected many small fish, until he had gathered thousands.

He then took the fish to his study, and carefully processed them, crushing them into a sticky paste. Warming the paste, he began to lather it across the walls of the maze.

When the king learned of this, he was very angry.

"How dare you cover my walls with fish paste!" he said.

The wizard replied, "But sire, everyone knows to protect a labyrinth, one must use a minnow tar."

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👤︎ u/cmecau
📅︎ Jan 07 2019
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If /puns were to host a fence building party according to the rules...

(This is more parody/satire than a pun, but I tried to make sure it had puns.)

  1. No more than half the people attending can wear trucker hats.

  2. The fences must be measured and spaced using meters. It doesn't matter if you're putting them in someone's yard.

  3. If you pull up a fence post, you cannot reuse it. In fact, you cannot use recycled posts from other people's yards.

  4. Don't keep up with the Jones'. But if you can't avoid this, make sure you give the Jones' the credit due for coming up with it first.

  5. You can bring lunch as sort of a potluck affair, but do not bring canned meat products from Hormel.

  6. If you bring a fence post, it must look like a fence post. If it might be confused with something else, make sure the box or protective wrapping calls it a fence post.

  7. When announcing the event, you are not allowed to make references to punch or people getting in line for punch. Just like Fight Club...

For now, we have no rule about promoting one stock car event over another as you work, or discussing other controversial matters. That won't change as long as you don't abuse this. Please keep your fence posts in good taste and suitable for all audiences. But if you do bring risque fence posts, make sure to cover them with a shroud labeled adult only, and I won't pull them up, provided the other rules are followed.

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📅︎ Apr 03 2018
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Out dading a dad.

I just turned extremely cold again and my dad was talking about covering up some strawberries to protect them. My response.

"It's a good thing we have a bail (of straw) otherwise we'd have to use blankets. Then they would just be blanket berries..."

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📅︎ Feb 25 2017
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