How come Trump doesn’t wear a mask?

He thinks he has diplomatic immunity.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TherapyHam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
Today I found a loophole while wearing my mask.

It goes around the ear.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dangonnaram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t the guy like to wear a mask?

He said it lowers his maskulinity.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BarbecueStu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
My Wife is freaking out about this coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning......

Now I’m two hours late and I don’t even like Jim Carey

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/carpet_tart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...

It’s very noteworthy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
People who go out in public without a mask make me sick.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bacchus213
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 183
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tburns1469
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
Good Christians always wear masks when going nextdoor, for God hath said:

Thou shalt not COVID thy neighbor's wife.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket..

They lied, everyone else had their clothes on

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reg182
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
TIL that Starbucks makes special masks that let you drink through them.

The masks are called coughy filters.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
We have migrated from mass hysteria to mask hysteria.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
While living alone and always wearing a mask in public, I grew a mustache without anyone knowing.

It’s my secret β€˜stache.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kfizzle217
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
What did the chicken say to the Lobster who refused to wear a face mask?

You're so shellfish!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mockturtle22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
It’s not called driving with a mask on

It’s Mask Car Racing

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
I've decided to start making face masks for ducks

Nothing too fancy, but they fit the bill

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/turtlegoesboom
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"

She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icebucketwood
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
I asked someone to make me face masks...

They turned out sew sew.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
Are you currently wearing a face mask and glasses to work?

You may be eligible for condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crackmytoes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
I told my barista I didn't think he should be wearing a face mask. 'I'm not', he said,...

'it's a coughy filter.'

πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mish106
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
The reason people won't wear a mask is because they have

mask hysteria

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vfxslave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
My wife is making masks. Does anyone need one?

Or are you covered?

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mascot with a mask?

A Maskcot

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
I don’t wear a mask into Walmart

I wear a coughing filter

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RemoteLizard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
What should you use to fix your mask if it breaks?

Masking tape

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aelbaum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
🚨︎ report
Approaching the house without a mask these days is just bush league.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joelkeys0519
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
Have you or a loved one had to wear glasses and a mask

You may be entitled to condensation

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GucciDuc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
A shopper prefers to not wear a mask

Me: You should be wearing a mask for your own safety.
Her: Says who?
Me: Kinda.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cliffwolff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Someone ran by and grabbed all of our masks right off our faces.

It was a de-mask-us steal.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beyond_hate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
Going into a store without a mask is like Nirvana.

I feel stupid and contagious.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/not_jake_kemp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

πŸ‘︎ 253
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitHODL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Has CoViD19 forced you to wear a mask and glasses?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ktoner1017
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
Elon Mask
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_noob369
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Have exposure to COVID19 caused you to wear masks and gloves?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation

-Not OC-

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
Elon Mask
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Ben-X
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
I was going grocery shopping this morning. They told me latex gloves and a face mask was enough. So i go in the store and what do i see?

The others are still wearing a t-shirt and pants!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/getonmylevel205
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
It’s not a face mask, folks...

it’s a coughy filter.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hypertonica
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
It’s not a face mask...

It’s a coughy filter

(Credit to u/sniggihs)

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderfighter6
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My wife said I should put the mask on if I'm leaving the house - and so I always do.

But my dog has to be so sick of that stupid movie by now.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
I met a woman who makes face masks for people in need during the pandemic, but it looked like she was getting overwhelmed by all the work.

She seamstressed.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Went to the grocery store today. They told me gloves and a mask would be enough...

They LIED. Everybody else had clothes on!

πŸ‘︎ 326
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kratomom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
What would you do if someone forcibly put a mask on your face?

I dunno, β€˜masking you.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hansxlx
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Today I was at the bank when two man came in with masks...

Such a relief when they said it was just a bank robbery.

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPapotasVIP
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
I keep telling my wife to stop buying peeling masks

It’s just a rip off

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swetiger
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
Three dudes walked into a bank wearing masks, and everybody freaked out.

They said, "This is a robbery," and everybody relaxed a little.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roguebuckeye
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Where did the Apostle Paul buy his mask for the Corona Virus?

At a shop on the road to Damaskus...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/regfol31
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who wears a black mask and is only kind of good at word play?

A punisher

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rethinkthegrid
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Elon Mask everyone
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NiisanSein
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Just got back from the grocery store they said all you need is gloves and a mask- they lied

everyone else was wearing clothes

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deepspacesquid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
People keep asking me to make them face masks

They know me sew well.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BaldingMonk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Keep safe during this pandemic and use an old padded bra to make yourself a comfortable mask. Just make sure you use the left cup...

Because if you use the right one you will look like a right tit.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Astoran15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
I see a ton of people driving in automobiles by themselves and still wearing a mask, what are they afraid of?

Car-onavirus?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
Today I was in the bank when two men came in wearing masks...

Everyone felt a huge relief when they told us it's only a bank robbery.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.

As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hashsmasher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
I went out for a walk and saw a face mask grow bigger and bigger

Then it hit me...lesson learned

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Removing Vader's Mask
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MystickTheater
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Friend: You should wear a mask.

Me: Because of Corona?

Friend: No. Because you're ugly.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Necessary-Bluejay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
The grocery delivery guy keeps wearing a mask and always stands 2 feet away from me...

I think I need to shower.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Hope my "Mr T" mask stops Coronavirus, they were all sold out of "Face" masks.

GTF bot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasthetanker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
I asked the bank teller why the guy sitting at the next window was wearing a mask & a cowboy outfit?

She said he was the lone arranger.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
I read that a mask and gloves were appropriate ppe for going out to the grocery store.

Well that is total bs, everyone else had clothes on too.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/savantard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask /r/Jokes/comments/fdtyi2/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PigeonGang1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Its not my mask, its....
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TreyLastname
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s yellow and wears a mask?

A banana robbing a bank.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeFindMeGilbert
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
i got a sleeping mask on a plane
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Nrpdude_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A Man In a Ski Mask Walks into a Bank, and Pulls out a Coffee Cup at the Bank Teller.

The Bank Teller Goes: " Are you Trying to Mug me?! "

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Powershroom64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Put on a mask, go outside next to a bank, now caress it.

Congratulations you just rub a bank.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rumour regarding a mask?

A masquerade

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatShanksguy09
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
If the girl from PJ Masks gets wet

Is she a moist Owlette?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DingoAltair
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wet PJ mask?

A moist owlette.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
That little paper mask they ask you to wear at the Medical Clinic is called...

A Coughy Filter!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
If Amaya from PJ Masks got caught in the rain...

She would turn into a moist Owlette.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jc0mm5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the cat in the bird mask say?

Me Owl!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xXD3aTh_StR0K3Xx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2016
🚨︎ report
BatDad has 4 children and makes Vines wearing a batman mask. [X-post from /r/videos] youtube.com/watch?v=YlVi0…
πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StartWatch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
🚨︎ report
We were at an aquarium when my dad put on an otter mask...

He turns to me and says "you otter buy this"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConnivingKoalaGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2013
🚨︎ report
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
It’s not a mask.....

It’s a coughy filter....

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket

They lied, everyone else has clothes on

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
"Why are you wearing a surgical mask?" I asked the barista.

She said, "It's not a mask. It's a coughy filter."

πŸ‘︎ 142
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/milkchaser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report

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