What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
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︎ Dec 24 2020
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, βA beer please, ..."
"... and one for the road."
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︎ Sep 15 2020
I have 6 legs, 8 arms, and 10 heads. What am I?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Did you hear about the guy that walked into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm?
He asked the bartender for a beer, and one for the road.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
My brother lost his left arm and left leg in a terrible auto accident.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock Knock "who's there" Not Sally
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︎ Dec 09 2020
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
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︎ Dec 17 2020
I meet guy with a deer on the end of each arm.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Wife after the gym: "Ugh I can't feel my arms"
reaches out and touches her arm "Oh that's ok, I'll feel them for you!"
Anyways I'm divorced now.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. He took an Xray and told me I have a humerus fracture.
Personally, I didn't find it funny at all.
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︎ Nov 03 2020
What do you call an Italian with no arms?
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︎ Oct 27 2020
We are doing a jigsaw puzzle of the human anatomy, and I hid the upper arm.
Nobody else finds this humerus.
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︎ Oct 07 2020
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a pool?
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︎ Sep 19 2020
A dog stole a skeletons left arm and left leg.
Itβs ok, heβs all right now.
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︎ Oct 11 2020
What do you call a dude with no arms and no legs who...
...hangs on a wall?
Art
...goes for a swim?
Bob
...sits on a porch?
Matt
...lies in a ditch?
Phil
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places
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︎ Nov 06 2020
What Ernest Hemingway novel sees Harry Morgan lose an arm?
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Right to bear arms...
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︎ Sep 03 2020
What do you call someone with one arm?
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︎ Sep 30 2020
My son came home and said βDad, I broke my arm in 12 places.β
So I said, βWell, stop going to those places then!β
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︎ Sep 17 2020
How arm-azing
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︎ Jul 11 2020
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs and heβs floating in your pool?
Bob.
(Itβs padreβs birthday and he just dug that one out of the depths of his memory...)
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Did you guys hear about the guy in that horrible car accident? Lost his left leg and left arm
Donβt worry, heβs all right now.
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︎ Sep 13 2020
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I canβt tell if heβs drawing snakes, mountains, teepeeβs, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:
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︎ Aug 26 2020
My friend has no arms and loves to make jokes about it. They're never any good though.
He doesn't have a funny bone in his body.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
My 7 year old brother lost his left arm in an accident
Dont worry, he's all 'right' now
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Why is this post similar to an infected arm?
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︎ Jul 25 2020
I broke my upper arm falling down the stairs.
It's quite humerus if you think about it.
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He's finding it hard to deal with.
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︎ Aug 03 2020
What do you call a guy with one arm and one leg, who sits in front of your door?
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Why was the clock not worried after getting an arm amputation?
Because it had a second hand.
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︎ Sep 08 2020
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a cod under his arm...
He says to the bloke behind the counter,
βDo you do fishcakes?β
The man behind the counter nods his head and smiles.
βYeah mate.β
Customer points to the cod under his arm.
βBetter make him one then mate, itβs his birthday.β
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I feel sad for those who have a prosthetic arm.
Because they lack a humerus bone in their body.
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︎ Aug 30 2020
What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
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︎ Nov 18 2020
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
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︎ Aug 03 2020
What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?
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︎ Nov 09 2020
What do you call a deaf man with a robotic arm
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︎ Nov 10 2020
A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.
The man says "One whiskey for me and one for the road"
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︎ Oct 07 2020
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
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︎ Aug 29 2020
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He shouts, βA beer please! And one for the road!β
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︎ Jun 11 2020
I went to the doctor and I told him I broke my arm in two places.
He said stop going to those places
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︎ Oct 01 2020
What is a guy with no arms, no legs, to the wall?
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︎ Sep 13 2020
A mime in my town was arrested after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
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︎ Jul 29 2020
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the sea?
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︎ Jul 21 2020
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
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︎ Nov 09 2019
In my town they arrested a mime that got into a bar fight and broke his left arm...
He still has the right to remain silent...
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︎ Jul 30 2020
What do you call A bloke with no arms or legs floating in the sea?
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︎ Jun 12 2020
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