Itβs illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
Because that would be in cider trading
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama?
Because you donβt turn your back on family.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
In Illinois, it's illegal to have legal possesion over fecal matter of any sort.
Can't have shit in Detroit.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Your honor is it illegal to throw sodium chloride in someone's eyes?
Judge: it's assault
I know it's a salt, is it a crime though?
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︎ Jan 17 2021
what kind of nap is illegal in 50 states and the district of columbia
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I opened an illegal distillery in North Korea
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Did you hear the Trump administration is thinking about making it illegal to sell pre-shredded cheese?
Apparently they want to make America grate again.
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︎ Jul 19 2020
If you do anything illegal in Russia
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︎ Jan 14 2021
This is dope. (Yes, weed is illegal in India)
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︎ Jul 18 2020
"If organ trafficking is illegal...."
"Then what about pianos?"
-my dad
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︎ Jun 15 2020
It should be illegal for London to go into lockdown over Christmas!
...That's capital punishment!
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︎ Dec 14 2020
Whatβs the difference between illegal and unlawful?
Oneβs against the law and the other is a sick bird.
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 27 2020
I was going on an illegal half marathon yesterday and the cops caught me.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I went shopping at Coles to buy Mayonnaise, but they said it was illegal to buy without cabbage and carrots.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
What drug is illegal under the sea?
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 03 2020
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Where do mice get their illegal alcohol?
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︎ Jul 25 2020
You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...
Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.
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︎ Jul 30 2020
Why was the Boston Tea Party illegal?
It was destruction of Private Proper Tea!
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︎ May 26 2020
If youβre thinking about doing something illegal oil yourself up first.
That way youβre a smooth criminal.
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︎ Jan 27 2020
Not many people know this, but Boy George had a taste for exotic and somewhat illegal Indian cuisine...
His favourite was the Korma Chameleon.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Watching out for illegal refills
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 04 2020
What do you call illegal, fermented milk?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 10 2020
If I could have any superpower, I would choose invisibility. But I wouldn't use it to do anything ILLEGAL...
π︎ 49
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
Why can't ants fund illegal activities ?
They have Anti Money Laundering
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
Whait that's illegal
π︎ 47
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︎ Sep 19 2019
Shoplifting is illegal, but that's whisk I'm willing to take
π︎ 10
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︎ May 25 2019
I once tried to drive my Toyota Corolla with a stick shift on the Autobahn, but German authorities flagged me down and informed me that was illegal...
So I drove down the manualbahn instead.
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π
︎ Dec 27 2019
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
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︎ Mar 12 2019
Watched a documentary on illegal drugs last night. Five Stars.
Most documentaries are more enjoyable that way.
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π
︎ Mar 19 2018
What do illegal immigrants hate about the winter?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 04 2019
So Donald Trump (or "the Don" as some call him) has realized that illegal immigrants must be deported at night so that no one will see them leaving and complain...
The problem, however, is that there isn't enough light for the immigrants to find their way back to Mexico. Because of this, the Don institutes his "Early Light" plan in order to give the immigrants a way to see. One immigrant, Jose, is partially blind, so they are wondering if the "Early Light" program will still allow him to see. The ask him: Jose can you see by the Don's "Early Light."
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︎ Aug 08 2018
I tried to open a bar inside a cave but the police stopped me. They said it was illegal to sell alcohol to miners..
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︎ Sep 27 2019
I'm addicted to robbing chemistry stores. It is what I live for. I know that it's illegal, I know that it's dangerous. I've even nearly been killed a couple of times. But I don't care,
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︎ May 11 2019
If you were moving something illegal, and a cop caught you, but you started dancing....
Who 'bust a move'? You or the cop?
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︎ Jul 28 2019
I got injured in one of those illegal cockfighting pits.
Can you believe they let the other guy bring a bloody chicken!
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 22 2019
An alternate world where it's illegal to make or even touch puns. Punsmiths are protesting against this.
There's a pun crying to be made here, but I can't put my finger on it.
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︎ Feb 27 2019
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? Itβs because the cows werenβt getting a square meal.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 16 2019
Do you know why stealing is illegal?
π︎ 54
π
︎ Jul 03 2019
What drug is illegal in the ocean
π︎ 132
π
︎ Oct 29 2019
What is the difference between illegal and unlawful?
One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.
π︎ 151
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?
Unlawful is against the law. Illegal is just a sick bird.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Aug 05 2017
Do you know the difference between unlawful and illegal?
One is a crime and the other's a sick bird.
( Ν‘~ ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
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π
︎ Nov 10 2019
Did you hear they made round hay bales illegal?
Cows weren't getting a square meal.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 13 2019
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