Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama?
Because you don’t turn your back on family.
In Illinois, it's illegal to have legal possesion over fecal matter of any sort.
Can't have shit in Detroit.
It should be illegal for London to go into lockdown over Christmas!
...That's capital punishment!
I was going on an illegal half marathon yesterday and the cops caught me.
Did you hear the Trump administration is thinking about making it illegal to sell pre-shredded cheese?
Apparently they want to make America grate again.
What’s the difference between illegal and unlawful?
One’s against the law and the other is a sick bird.
I went shopping at Coles to buy Mayonnaise, but they said it was illegal to buy without cabbage and carrots.
This is dope. (Yes, weed is illegal in India)
"If organ trafficking is illegal...."
"Then what about pianos?"
What drug is illegal under the sea?
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
Where do mice get their illegal alcohol?
You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...
Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.
Why was the Boston Tea Party illegal?
It was destruction of Private Proper Tea!
There was a fire in the illegal weed farm which trapped some cows.
The steaks have never been higher.
Not many people know this, but Boy George had a taste for exotic and somewhat illegal Indian cuisine...
His favourite was the Korma Chameleon.
What do you call illegal, fermented milk?
Drawing on yourself should be illegal
The minute you do, you’re a marked man
What drug is illegal in the ocean
If you’re thinking about doing something illegal oil yourself up first.
That way you’re a smooth criminal.
Why can't ants fund illegal activities ?
They have Anti Money Laundering
Watching out for illegal refills
What is the difference between illegal and unlawful?
One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.
If I could have any superpower, I would choose invisibility. But I wouldn't use it to do anything ILLEGAL...
I once tried to drive my Toyota Corolla with a stick shift on the Autobahn, but German authorities flagged me down and informed me that was illegal...
So I drove down the manualbahn instead.
Shoplifting is illegal, but that's whisk I'm willing to take
Do you know the difference between unlawful and illegal?
One is a crime and the other's a sick bird.
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do illegal immigrants hate about the winter?
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
I got injured in one of those illegal cockfighting pits.
Can you believe they let the other guy bring a bloody chicken!
I tried to open a bar inside a cave but the police stopped me. They said it was illegal to sell alcohol to miners..
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?
Unlawful is against the law. Illegal is just a sick bird.
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
If you were moving something illegal, and a cop caught you, but you started dancing....
Who 'bust a move'? You or the cop?
So Donald Trump (or "the Don" as some call him) has realized that illegal immigrants must be deported at night so that no one will see them leaving and complain...
The problem, however, is that there isn't enough light for the immigrants to find their way back to Mexico. Because of this, the Don institutes his "Early Light" plan in order to give the immigrants a way to see. One immigrant, Jose, is partially blind, so they are wondering if the "Early Light" program will still allow him to see. The ask him: Jose can you see by the Don's "Early Light."
Watched a documentary on illegal drugs last night. Five Stars.
Most documentaries are more enjoyable that way.
I'm addicted to robbing chemistry stores. It is what I live for. I know that it's illegal, I know that it's dangerous. I've even nearly been killed a couple of times. But I don't care,
Do you know why stealing is illegal?
Did you hear they made round hay bales illegal?
Cows weren't getting a square meal.
An alternate world where it's illegal to make or even touch puns. Punsmiths are protesting against this.
There's a pun crying to be made here, but I can't put my finger on it.
What do you call an illegal ant?
What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?
Unlawful is something against the law, illegal is a sick bird.
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?
It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.