Did you hear the Trump administration is thinking about making it illegal to sell pre-shredded cheese?

Apparently they want to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 360
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
This is dope. (Yes, weed is illegal in India)
πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/golubeerji
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
"If organ trafficking is illegal...."

"Then what about pianos?" -my dad

πŸ‘︎ 377
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpha_greenwood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Where do mice get their illegal alcohol?

At the squeak-easy!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pawljames
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...

Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phlatbroke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
Why was the Boston Tea Party illegal?

It was destruction of Private Proper Tea!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Not many people know this, but Boy George had a taste for exotic and somewhat illegal Indian cuisine...

His favourite was the Korma Chameleon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call illegal, fermented milk?

Mooshine.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsaFrozen2013
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
There was a fire in the illegal weed farm which trapped some cows.

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
Drawing on yourself should be illegal

The minute you do, you’re a marked man

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KIT-3
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law and the other one is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Murdermuffinn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
Why can't ants fund illegal activities ?

They have Anti Money Laundering

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
If you’re thinking about doing something illegal oil yourself up first.

That way you’re a smooth criminal.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
What drug is illegal in the ocean

Sea weed

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Luigigamer74002
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Watching out for illegal refills
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicPunz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
I once tried to drive my Toyota Corolla with a stick shift on the Autobahn, but German authorities flagged me down and informed me that was illegal...

So I drove down the manualbahn instead.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If I could have any superpower, I would choose invisibility. But I wouldn't use it to do anything ILLEGAL...

Just to be clear.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aphaelion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Whait that's illegal
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is a crime and the other's a sick bird.

( Ν‘~ ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Soylent_X
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I got injured in one of those illegal cockfighting pits.

Can you believe they let the other guy bring a bloody chicken!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phelyan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do illegal immigrants hate about the winter?

ICE

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Longjumping_Pie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Shoplifting is illegal, but that's whisk I'm willing to take
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jvarblow
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to open a bar inside a cave but the police stopped me. They said it was illegal to sell alcohol to miners..
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CHEEZY_21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.

I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If you were moving something illegal, and a cop caught you, but you started dancing....

Who 'bust a move'? You or the cop?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PacMook_Bro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why stealing is illegal?

Because they bandit

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dagusiu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm addicted to robbing chemistry stores. It is what I live for. I know that it's illegal, I know that it's dangerous. I've even nearly been killed a couple of times. But I don't care,

I'll diluting.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/analblades
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they made round hay bales illegal?

Cows weren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aussietin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an illegal ant?

A tor-ant.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StuxieDev
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
An alternate world where it's illegal to make or even touch puns. Punsmiths are protesting against this.

There's a pun crying to be made here, but I can't put my finger on it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buttsecks42069
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
So Donald Trump (or "the Don" as some call him) has realized that illegal immigrants must be deported at night so that no one will see them leaving and complain...

The problem, however, is that there isn't enough light for the immigrants to find their way back to Mexico. Because of this, the Don institutes his "Early Light" plan in order to give the immigrants a way to see. One immigrant, Jose, is partially blind, so they are wondering if the "Early Light" program will still allow him to see. The ask him: Jose can you see by the Don's "Early Light."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoahTheProtozoa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
If smoking weed was illegal in the 8th century

you could get stoned for getting stoned

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheezypeezy123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Watched a documentary on illegal drugs last night. Five Stars.

Most documentaries are more enjoyable that way.

πŸ‘︎ 954
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful is something against the law, illegal is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZannerTheBanner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Donald Trump is trying to make shredded cheese illegal?

He's trying to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bcarey1233
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work...

...bee keepers are going to be furious!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geve4now
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person who moves illegal contraband without using magic?

A smuggle

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/knifefire133
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Asking questions to govt is illegal in Korea even though it's a country full of quoreans.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devmittal_civ16
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between illegal and unlawful?

Ones breaking the law and the others a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Trump rename the title of "Illegal Alien" to?

Trespacito

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xIamMothManx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
You can make jokes about anything, just not illegals

That's Crossing the Border

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Advantages of titute are made illegal by disadvantages of titute.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSupaHotFire
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an illegal piece of fish?

Codtraband!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThetaSigma_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between illegal and ill-egal

Ones against the law and the other is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sersi78
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s illegal to exchange fermented apples

Since you might be arrested for in-cider trading

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call when an illegal immigrant and a pedophile get into a fight?

Alien vs Predator

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UsedToothpick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
If an illegal immigrant gets into a fight with a child molester...

Is it alien vs predator?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brendonaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What feels illegal but isn’t?

A vet feeling an ill eagle feathers who is sick

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lifeis_amystery
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ball-based sports illegal in Canada?

Because then it would be cannibalism.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
The illegal tennis equipment market was finally exposed.

Took a while to bust the racket.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoHandedShanks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I may have done something illegal with money today...
πŸ‘︎ 276
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/merkabbalah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2015
🚨︎ report
The EPA charges companies for illegal air pollution...

It's a mist-demeanor.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
They passed a law making it illegal to lie to children:

The only exception is the Santa Claus

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/7_Pillars
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What state is it illegal to walk your deer without a leash and collar on?

Collar-a-doe

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/walkerspider
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call illegal trafficking of carbon dioxide?

smoggling

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/murO420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
🚨︎ report
It is illegal to give a movie a three point one four,

If you did you would have just pi rated it!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MayBeanEgg
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a whole collection of illegal music

It’s all contraband

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blindfactotum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me if bad dad jokes should be illegal...

...I told them illegal was a sick bird

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/filmfarceur
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
The difference between unlawful and illegal is

One gets you in trouble and the other is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rememberme17
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?

One means it's against the law. The other is a sick bird.

-Told to me by my dad, about 40 years ago.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Billee_Boyee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Trespassing is only illegal in groups of three

Or else it would be unopassing

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crojan_horse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend told me it should be illegal to make jokes about women, cuisine, and literature.

It was the breast of crimes. It was the wurst of crimes.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/N-Slash
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Do you know the difference between illegal and unlawful?

Unlawful means "against the law" and illegal is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 499
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yelruh00
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2013
🚨︎ report
Not many people know this, but there is a difference between illegal and unlawful.

Unlawful means something is against the law, while illegal is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dansguns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Isn't that illegal?

I'm surprised that Switzerland can get away with using people as currency. I'm even more surprised they can find so many people named Frank.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrainAss
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Illegal

Ain’t nothin but a sick bird

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/latifr1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
🚨︎ report
YSK: What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird!

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jayagl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Round bales of hay are illegal...

The cows just can't get a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump will be successful at getting rid of illegal immigrants...

And he'll do it Juan at a time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/htmlarson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Do you know what an illegal is?

A bird feeling under the weather...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wo0dles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Difference between "illegal" and "illicit"

Boyfriend, boyfriend's dad and I are in the car on our way to a restaurant. Boyfriend and I are discussing the difference between the definitions of "illegal" and "illicit". We finally settle on what we think is right, when his dad chips in: "Now I always thought the definition of "illegal" was "a sick bird" !

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad in his workshop: "This tool is so sharp it's illegal..."

"...it's a banned saw."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/squidfood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Illegal bales of hay

"Hey son, did you know that those round hay bales are actually unhealthy for the animals? It's because they're not a square meal!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TBrown_Design
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
🚨︎ report
Why is gambling illegal in savannas?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cakeliar5421
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2013
🚨︎ report
That's illegal dad!!....

.... Illegal?? That's just a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schludini
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between illegal and unlawful?

One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 149
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkTheBag112
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful is against the law. Illegal is just a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStabbingHobo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?

It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lobsterbash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Asking questions to govt is illegal in Korea even though it's a country full of quoreans.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devmittal_civ16
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law, and the other is a sick bird.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ajjanialthor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report

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