A list of puns related to "Outlawed"
-And?
-No dice.
That’s pretty low Maine
The animals weren't getting a square meal.
They're PUNishable by death
Hmm guess he wants to make America grate again 🤔
The police track them to a motel, but can't narrow it down further. They call the judge and he writes out a warrant to search room #8 at the motel. Police break down the door and arrest the gang of cows with the stash.
Later the police captain calls the judge, "Your honor, how did you know where the gang would be hiding?"
Judge says, "It's easy Captain. Cows always room in 8".
Their reasoning is the Bible says, "It's Adam and Eve, not Florence + the Machine."
Outlaws are wanted.
Outlaws are Wanted!
Outlaws are wanted
“We hope the new rule will help, for all in tents and porpoises.”
The sheriff decided that he needed to stop them so he rounded up his deputies and they rode out in search of the gang.
After a couple of days everyone was tired and hungry so one of the deputies rode up to sheriff and said “Look sheriff we are all too tired, why don’t you guys rest up here and I’ll ride 4 miles north and two miles east and see if I can’t find us some grub?, I’ll be back by morning”
The sheriff agrees and off the deputy rides 4 miles north and two miles east.
The next morning the deputy returns with all his packs full of bacon! The sheriff says “where the hell did you get all that bacon out here in the middle of nowhere!”
Deputy says “well you see sheriff I rode 4 miles north and 2 miles east and I swear to god there’s this bacon tree just sitting there! A tree that is full of bacon!”
“Bullshit!” Says the sheriff “you stay here I’m going to check this out!”
So off the sheriff rides the same as the deputy did.
The next morning the deputy see’s the sheriff crawling towards the camp with arrows sticking out of his back.
Deputy says to the sheriff “ Boss what the hell happened!”
The sheriff looks up from the ground and says “BACON TREE, BACON TREE, that wasn’t a damn bacon tree you idiot it was a Hambush!”
They'd let her lie low and stitch.
...you could get be charged with 'assault with a dad-ly weapon'.
It appears cows aren't getting a square meal.
Outlaws are wanted!
(while it may be fair to say this isn't exactly a "dad" joke, I feel like it is a joke for dads (or moms), since they all know what I'm talking about.)
he thought to himself, 'no noose is good noose'
It’s your best chance to see Chris’ pine.
(shoutout to my actual dad for this one)
These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.
Sans sheriff
They had a chute out.
Outlaws are wanted.
Friend's dad hit me with that this morning. 😑
The law maker was outlawed.
One of them brought up that the government has outlawed really loud fireworks My other friend said: "Really? I havent heard of those" To which I replied: "That's the point"
Hi! My dad had a heart attack last week, then went home, less than 12 hours later was back in with a one in a million fluke chance that he'd have complication. He's been in for a week now and was told he is nothing short of a miracle. I'm pregnant and can't really go see him often in ICU because of the very very sick people, but I wanted to do something special and thought i'd ask here. He is pretty down about the whole thing, usually pretty active guy keeping himself busy but I would love to create a little book for him to cheer him up. Nothing crazy but maybe some great jokes to keep him on the cheery side I might include a little art for him too with the joke. Thanks everyone.
So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.
So far I got:
You're ex-cell-ent mom!
I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!
Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)
^((But they're kind of trash))
Ideas from others:
Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15
"You know they just outlawed those right?"
Why?
"Because the cows weren't getting square meals."
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
PS; I have a great relationship with my in-laws.
Driving through hayfields and we pass a couple fields with larger round bales of hay, not the normal square ones.
dad: You know they're outlawing these round hay bales, so we should be seeing any more of them soon.
dad pauses and waits for someone to bite
victim: really, how come?
dad: They found that cows weren't getting a square meal.
love you dad, you goof.
They say that cows aren't getting a square meal.
Outlaws are wanted.
Outlaws are wanted
Outlaws are wanted.
Outlaws are wanted.
Outlaws are wanted.
Outlaws are wanted!
Outlaws are wanted.
Outlaws are 'Wanted.'
Outlaws are wanted!
The cows aren't getting a good square meal.
Outlaws are wanted.
Outlaws are wanted.
Dad: What's the difference between outlaws and inlaws?
Dad: Outlaws are wanted.
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