Where do French criminals take baths?
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Why do criminals love using cows at their lookouts?
They are great at spotting moo-vement
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︎ Mar 05 2021
A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
What did the egyptian people say when banishing the sexually confused criminal?
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︎ Feb 16 2021
How did exicutioners hear about the latest criminals?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the βGuess your weightβ booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
i have just been swooned by a man only to discover heβs a career criminal
i guess you could say i felon love
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︎ Nov 30 2020
The devil and a criminal work great together
After all, they have great sin-ergy.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Don't bother doing a criminal background check on me.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Criminal justice has progressed
When a thief is caught today, itβs not like the olden days. Now, you get a mugshot and housed in a jail cell. Then, they were just drawn and quartered.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I once caught a criminal in the midst of stealing some luggage.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What do you call a narcissistic criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Who is Cardi-B's healthy sister?
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︎ Mar 09 2021
I was telling my friend that brown rice is the same as white rice, but with a criminal record....
He thinks I'm a riceist for saying that.
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︎ Nov 29 2020
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Why can't rodents be succesful criminals?
Cause someone always rats them out
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︎ Nov 16 2020
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Crooked teeth are criminal
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Anyone else surprised we don't see more toddlers with criminal charges?
Mine's always resisting a rest.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
I saw a cop zap a criminal with a Taser, but then shocked him again when he was already on the ground...
The first one was probably justified, the the second one was just re-volting.
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︎ Aug 15 2020
I hit a criminal with a sign yesterday
I must say I put a stop to them
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︎ Aug 25 2020
What do you call a criminal sleeping in a tent?
π︎ 14
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︎ Aug 19 2020
What is police officers' favorite type of room to find criminals?
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 18 2020
What is the most wanted criminal rock?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 07 2020
Did you hear about the time the lead singer of the band βThe Policeβ went undercover to catch a criminal?
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︎ Aug 21 2020
What do you call a musical group of criminals that travels around the country but only along the outline of the country's border?
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︎ Jun 27 2020
Did you know Hartford, CT has the friendliest criminals?
They excel at con-etiquette.
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︎ Jun 10 2020
I just threw ice at a criminal and got him arrested
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︎ Jul 27 2020
I like to play Yahtzee with criminals
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Why couldn't the criminal steal the money alone?
He was banking on his friends to do it
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︎ Jun 20 2020
My main job as a criminal wasn't paying much so I picked up a 2nd at a bakery
What can I say, I knead the dough
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︎ Jun 12 2020
My friend Robert is a lawyer who specializes in helping convicted people by getting their records erased permanently. Everyone calls him...
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︎ Dec 23 2020
What did the pie-lice officer say to the criminal?
Youβre going into custardy.
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︎ May 10 2020
What do you call criminal twins?
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︎ May 26 2020
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...
Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Australia's most wanted criminal was arrested stealing a car in a car in Canberra today
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︎ Apr 27 2020
What is Batmanβs catchphrase after he catches the criminals?
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︎ Mar 09 2020
This just in: 2 robbers just hijacked a truck delivering a supply of viagra.
Everyone be on the lookout for 2 hardened criminals.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
To the two criminals that stole my calendar:
I hope you both get six months.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
A new criminal has been recognised as stealing car wheels
Police are attempting to catch him tyrelessly
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︎ Apr 24 2020
I was hanging out with a bunch of criminals who kept telling the funniest jokes.
We were laughing all the way to the bank.
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︎ Mar 16 2020
What do you call a snobby criminal climbing down the stairs?
A condescending con descending
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con, descending.
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 08 2020
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs?
A condescending con descending.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 02 2020
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending!
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︎ Jul 02 2020
What do you call a narcissist criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
π︎ 31
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︎ Dec 13 2019
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