Did you know that they are outlawing the round hay bales?

The cows aren't getting a good square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fiannaidhe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2016
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Why has gambling been recently outlawed in Africa?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirRitchfield
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What's the difference between In-Laws and Outlaws

Outlaws are wanted.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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β€œDue to the rising number of dolphin attacks, we’ve had to outlaw any overnight camping on the beach.”

β€œWe hope the new rule will help, for all in tents and porpoises.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/okaypuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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In the old Wild West there was a notorious gang of dangerous outlaws, they’d just attacked a town.

The sheriff decided that he needed to stop them so he rounded up his deputies and they rode out in search of the gang.

After a couple of days everyone was tired and hungry so one of the deputies rode up to sheriff and said β€œLook sheriff we are all too tired, why don’t you guys rest up here and I’ll ride 4 miles north and two miles east and see if I can’t find us some grub?, I’ll be back by morning”

The sheriff agrees and off the deputy rides 4 miles north and two miles east.

The next morning the deputy returns with all his packs full of bacon! The sheriff says β€œwhere the hell did you get all that bacon out here in the middle of nowhere!”

Deputy says β€œwell you see sheriff I rode 4 miles north and 2 miles east and I swear to god there’s this bacon tree just sitting there! A tree that is full of bacon!”

β€œBullshit!” Says the sheriff β€œyou stay here I’m going to check this out!”

So off the sheriff rides the same as the deputy did.

The next morning the deputy see’s the sheriff crawling towards the camp with arrows sticking out of his back.

Deputy says to the sheriff β€œ Boss what the hell happened!”

The sheriff looks up from the ground and says β€œBACON TREE, BACON TREE, that wasn’t a damn bacon tree you idiot it was a Hambush!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FleetChief
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Be careful: if you keep making these terrible puns...

...you could get be charged with 'assault with a dad-ly weapon'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Why did the outlaw tailor seek sanctuary at Disneyland?

They'd let her lie low and stitch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/such_hpn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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The fda has decided to outlaw the round hay bails.

It appears cows aren't getting a square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jablothegreat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I tried opening a casino even though gambling was outlawed

-And?

-No dice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSilbarita
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted!

(while it may be fair to say this isn't exactly a "dad" joke, I feel like it is a joke for dads (or moms), since they all know what I'm talking about.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klave7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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The outlaw was being led to the gallows, then when he got there, he noticed the rope was missing...

he thought to himself, 'no noose is good noose'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobraPony67
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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There’s two nude scenes in the new Netflix film, Outlaw King.

It’s your best chance to see Chris’ pine.

(shoutout to my actual dad for this one)

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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The city of Augusta has just outlawed Chinese food

That’s pretty low Maine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/memethetics
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas are all about to Outlaw Interstate Homelessness

These four states are all against the Oklahoma panhandle.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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What happened when the outlaws went skydiving?

They had a chute out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmusedGrap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
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What is an outlaw's favorite font family?

Sans sheriff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kammerdiener
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2015
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What's the difference between an outlaw and an in-law?

Outlaws are wanted.

Friend's dad hit me with that this morning. πŸ˜‘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigtreeworld
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2015
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Did you guys hear that dad jokes are being outlawed?

They're PUNishable by death

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Appleface14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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A lawyer and a law maker had been in an argument for several years, escalating into a bet to see who would break the law first. The lawyer then found himself in a trial against the law maker.

The law maker was outlawed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/N1ch0l2s
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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I was walking with two friend on my way to a new years party

One of them brought up that the government has outlawed really loud fireworks My other friend said: "Really? I havent heard of those" To which I replied: "That's the point"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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My dad is in the hospital and king of dad jokes.. I'd love to make him a little book

Hi! My dad had a heart attack last week, then went home, less than 12 hours later was back in with a one in a million fluke chance that he'd have complication. He's been in for a week now and was told he is nothing short of a miracle. I'm pregnant and can't really go see him often in ICU because of the very very sick people, but I wanted to do something special and thought i'd ask here. He is pretty down about the whole thing, usually pretty active guy keeping himself busy but I would love to create a little book for him to cheer him up. Nothing crazy but maybe some great jokes to keep him on the cheery side I might include a little art for him too with the joke. Thanks everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vulgarwanderer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vitamorior
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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My dad's favorite road trip joke

Driving through hayfields and we pass a couple fields with larger round bales of hay, not the normal square ones.

dad: You know they're outlawing these round hay bales, so we should be seeing any more of them soon.

dad pauses and waits for someone to bite

victim: really, how come?

dad: They found that cows weren't getting a square meal.

love you dad, you goof.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bunjamins
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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From my father-in-law at dinner tonight.

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

PS; I have a great relationship with my in-laws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmosParnell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2014
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Riding by a field with those big round bales of hay...

"You know they just outlawed those right?"

Why?

"Because the cows weren't getting square meals."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gooddogisgood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws

Outlaws are wanted

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SEC-Gaming
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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You know the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between in-laws and Outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/attidaddi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cjborange
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

Outlaws are wanted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadjokeshq
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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What is the difference between and in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/officialdavid1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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Did you know they outlawed round bales of hay?

The animals weren't getting a square meal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cashforchunkers
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are 'Wanted.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PDXCharmander
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reg182
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Round hay bales are being outlawed.

They say that cows aren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plasteredlyric
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_mellojoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
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What's the difference between and out law and an in law?

Outlaws are wanted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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My dad told this one to us yesterday.

Dad: What's the difference between outlaws and inlaws?

Dad: Outlaws are wanted.

πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrRobotronic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
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