Sent to me by my dad:
> A father said to his early teenage daughter,
"There are two words I'd like you to quit using so much. One is 'gross' and the other is 'awesome'."
> She replied, "OK, Dad, what are the two words?"
While fixing a hose at my house, the landlord said, "In order to keep water from running on the wall, you need a shower curtain on the back to...CURTail any leakage."
We both mentally high fived each other, as his wife rolled her eyes.
Ninja Edit: We have an old style tub.