Dirty puns shouldn't be posted here, but on...

/r/puNSFW (pronounced "pUnsafe for work")

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pornhubschrauber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My son made a dirty pun so I had to PUNish him
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/n0vahellraiser
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Merry Christmas, you dirty pun lovers! imgur.com/7rkwn2j
πŸ‘︎ 365
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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A dirty pun
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2014
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Wannna hear a dirty joke

A kid fell in a mud puddle.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubyreddove
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
Why do sinners always have such dirty shoes?

Because their soles are unclean.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rslashhuman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A cow fell in the mud.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call an electric oven that always gets dirty?

MikeRoweWave

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piratecheese13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you get dirty on the Millennium Falcon?

Having par-sex!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kra2ymonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
Want to hear something really dirty?

Mud!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of someone’s dirty thoughts?

By brainwashing them

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DillSoupYT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
I have an ugly, tight pair of shorts that I only wear when every other pair is dirty.

They’re my last re-shorts!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
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You know what the terms "no mercy" and "dirty laundry" have in common?

No quarters.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumnem
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a dirty joke?

A white horse fell in the mud.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sontrii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of being under something dirty but no one gets my position.

No one ever under stained...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GongBreaker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
What does a country in Europe have to do with a dirty counter?

Germany

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?" Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?

Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zortor
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Did'em 'dirty'
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chanureadeats
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
If you don’t get why catholics have dirty foreheads today...

Why don’t you just ash them?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with massive boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PringyUK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
We took a test to find out what cheese we were and she does it dirty like this.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZarTheSquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Dirty NASA experiment unearthed

NASA decided to send a vegetable to space. After the rough takeoff the spud soiled himself.

Operation Spud-Nik turned violent when the astronauts, due to unforeseen circumstances, ran out of food. It wasn't long before the five guys came up with a plan. They unearthed him and gouged his eyes out. As unappealing as it sounded, spud was sliced up, fried and eaten. Noone seemed to mind a little assault. Sometimes spaceflight is unpredictable and dirty sacrifices must be made.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeeSpaceApiaries
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
Why some mobsters prefer not to laundry their dirty money?

They want to be filthy rich.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WenDMegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boob implants?

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Whats the diferance between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station and the others a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conbeanaman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Accidentally used a dirty cloth to try and clean the table.

Instant ragret.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got something to say, it's pretty dirty though.

Laundry

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Sorry guys, this one is a bit dirty
πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ercarlson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear something dirty?

Something dirty

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Dirty horse everywhere
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PompousFraud
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A white horse in a mud puddle.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adolf_Hitler_-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
You can get arrested in a restaurant for talking dirty to your flatware.

It's public forknication.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealZy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Jason Derulo’s β€œTalk Dirty” Song

After listening to it once again when I’m a bit older, I realised that the song had lots of saxual content.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wathong1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Hey kid, want to see a dirty joke?

Go clean your room.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karl_J_Grimm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a really dirty joke?

A white horse fell in mud

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Disco_Stu_39
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Is the dishwasher dirty?

Dad: No...
Me: puts plate in sink
Dad: ...but the dishes inside are.
Me: moves plate to dishwasher

(Edit: formatting)

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dj_rogers
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the bar of soap say to the dirty boy?

"Hygiene"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the mom say when the sink was full of dirty plates?

Dishes a real mess!

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogan2929
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I've often wondered as I walk through the forest, "Why is the ground so dirty?"

Well, now I know. Nature abhors a vacuum.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw that Dirty Jobs guy the other day, and I said hi, expecting a reply

Instead he gave me a microwave.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyco_brahe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
So, a while ago, I was talking to a ancient piece of wood. I told him a dirty joke...

He was petrified

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Your-Mom-Gabe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?

One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andyh10s
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I talking dirty in front of the kids.

H: Do you think I can fit it all in there?

W: Yes babe throw it all in, that’s what it’s designed for.

H: I guess they don’t call it a high capacity washing machine for nothing

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doravec88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Yesterday me and my friend were chasing on discord,then someone in the server posted a slightly dirty meme. So my friend said "Improvise. Adapt. Overcum" which fits the meme well.. so I said "Cumon, you beat meato tits"
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dagreifers
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st0nedpigeon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I can never tell a dirty joke about laundry

It always comes out clean.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sillsy93
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
People who give me dirty looks when I breastfeed in public need to stop

What I'm doing is natural and it strengthens the bond I have between me and my girlfriend

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do insomniacs have dirty floors?

They have trouble sweeping..

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pincheperroloco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zucc_the_lizard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend trained his parrot to say only dirty words and phrases...

He has a fowl little mind

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiggiePhats
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
TIL the host of Dirty Jobs is now a college proffesor who teaches students about money management and how spending affects the world around them.

The course is called Mike Rowe Economics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
So here’s a dirty joke for all you mind readers out there.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScaryThePirate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a Shakespeare character do when they’re dirty?

They take a macbath

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McMudbun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the clean DNA say to the dirty DNA?

Hygiene!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Battlealvin2009
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My bathroom mirror is so dirty

But I just can't see myself cleaning it

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwattyMcSlagtits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife wanted me to say dirty things to her..

I said "Bath, kitchen, living room..."

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/straightweird
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A horse jumped in mud

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MTN_Dew1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a dirty hoe.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anthony_ko
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I really dig earthworms, but I haven't meant one yet that didn't have a dirty mouth.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viperfour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What does an android do when his shoes get dirty?

He reboots himself.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devmittal_civ16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
The show "Dirty Jobs" is a great source for learning about the economy

Especially when it delves into the MikeRowe-economics.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBrownGames
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a dirty joke?

Four white horses fell in some mud.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaidendeck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the guy from Dirty Jobs started a software company?

Mike Rowe Soft

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lexluthzor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm tired, dirty and hungry.

Haven't slept, showered or eaten all year!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
How does Mike Rowe (Host of Dirty Jobs) cook most of his meals?

In his Mike-Rowe-Wave.

πŸ‘︎ 853
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πŸ‘€︎ u/terribleivan22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2014
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop & a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station The other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dargonite
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
🚨︎ report
This bearded man with crooked teeth and dirty clothes knocked on my door.

He said, "Have you got a place to sleep for the night?"

I said, "Yes, but thank you for the offer," and closed the door.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Since ove seen a couple dirty jokes here... what's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

Nobody pays 50 bucks for a lentil on the face

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattmilli1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear a dirty joke..?

The man fell in the mud.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saamnesty
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Dirty Hose
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LA_Grip
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2018
🚨︎ report
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

(my dad . . . only my dad would say this.)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smoopy_Poops
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I brought a pair of "bows" headphones to a dirty Santa exchange imgur.com/5hzyhBA
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/musichatesyouall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breasts?

Ones a crusty bus station, and the others a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmstealth
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus depot and a lobster with breast implants?

One’s a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RTB779500
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My Jewish friend tried to create a dirty joke

Hebrew it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poortio
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I love talking dirty with the wife while we're eating curry...

... nice bit of pilau talk before bed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moe_Bot
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I bet the group TLC had some dirty dishes in their house.

None of them wanted any scrubs, so rinsing was all they could manage.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/foobz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Dirty glasses

I was talking to my Dad, and I pointed out that his glasses were incredibly dirty, with a big smudge on one of the lens.

So he takes them off, and exclaims that they are pretty dirty.

"Well, I've been giving people dirty looks all day..."

πŸ‘︎ 551
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carb0nxl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
🚨︎ report
What the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and one is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BornChris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abernackle610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?" Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What the difference is between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants.

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TabCompletion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 959
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abbyrick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rigatavr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 336
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πŸ‘€︎ u/truth_artist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty transit stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TinyDinoHugs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a crab with breasts and a dirty bus stop?

Ones a crusty bus station, and ones a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Homonomore
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a dirty old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station the other one is a busty crustacean.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/z0o0ya
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2017
🚨︎ report

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