The police suspected that my daughter accidentally burnt our house down
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the street.
Why did the peanut go to the police?
Someone broke into our local police station and stole all the urinals.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
My GF dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest under the suspicion that I was good in bed c
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
Just seen the police arrest a dog that was giving birth at the side of the road.
Apparently it was littering.
If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that!
(Mj)
today there was an artist found dead by the police
the details are a little sketchy
NEWS FLASH! The toilet has been stolen from the local police station.
Police say they've got nothing to go on.
Wanted: A man who has been stealing wheels from police cars
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
A police officer told a coffee maker "you're under arrest"!
The coffee maker asked "on what grounds"?
I just said "No comment" all the way through a police interview.
What did the police officer say to his belly button?
What are police cars made of?
We had barely started an evening at the anecdote club when police kicked the door in.
It was a two story building.
A police officer just came to the door and said he was looking for a man with one eye.
I told him he would probably find him faster he used both.
Did you hear about the criminal who only steals wheels from police cars?
The cops are working tirelessly to catch him
The police found the missing property.
It's another closed case.
Do regular dogs see a police dog
Why did the coffee call the police?
Someone is stealing tires off of police cars in my area
The police are working tirelessly to arrest him.
The police pulled over a semi going 120 mph on the interstate. Upon opening the trailer, they found thousands of ancient cutting tools similar to an axes but with the cutting edges perpendicular to the handle rather than parallel.
I was interrogated by the police last week
They asked me "are you more of a skirt or a handbag?"
I thought about it for a second and confidently chose handbag.
"So you admit it! You're an accessory!"
Russell Crowe walks into a police station when he hears that a cannibal has devoured his wife.
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
The police found a stolen car that had a nearly complete set of golf clubs inside...
They're still looking for the driver!
Why do police hate impatient pirates?
Because they refuse arrrrrest
2 cows are in an police interview room accused of stealing dairy equipment
One cow says, it was the udder one
When I was a police officer I used to take suspects camping.
I was fired for my intense interrogations.
The police caught the teflon thief red-handed
And yet, the prosecution couldn't make the charges stick
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
Why do police talk to bankers a lot?
Because they are "persons of interest."
My wife has begged me to stop making police related puns...
I said, "O.K.....I'll give it arrest.
Did you hear about the criminal who had a heart attack while running from the police?
He went into cardiac arrest.
The police arrested to kids yesterday, one was eating fireworks, and the other was drinking battery acid
They charged one, and let the other off
Why do police get to riots early?
A man took a bullet to the face in a shooting last week. If anyone has any information please call city police.
The only thing they have to go on is the mug shot.
If I made a bot that spams every person who claims to be a member of the Pun Police with puns...
it would be a fully automatic machine pun.
My neighbor, Mr. Coffee, came stumbling into the police station this morning.
Apparently, he had been mugged.
Why did the police officer put the cranky baby in jail?
Police are investigating a murder in which the victim was shot with a starters pistol.
The police think it's race-related.
How did the police identify the body of a dead monk?
They checked his transcen-dental records.
Someone broke into our local police station and stole all the urinals.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
Someone stole the toilet from the police station
They have nothing to go on
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...
They charged her with littering!
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down.
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