π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 05 2008
Whatβs the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?
Well, itβs black and white.
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.
The police is working tirelessly to catch him.
π︎ 280
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
π︎ 174
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Why do police get to riots early?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
A man has been stealing police car tires
The police are working tirelessly to catch him
π︎ 40
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states
Someone stole all the toilets from the police station.
They had nothing to go on.
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night
Cops have nothing to go on
π︎ 202
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Why did the coffee file a police report?
π︎ 134
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
If police pull over a U-Haul van
π︎ 33
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
So the police locked up a toddler the other day
Turns out he was resisting a rest
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
Someone stole the tires off a police car
Theyβre working tirelessly to catch them
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
π︎ 107
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Hey Sir, police jokes arenβt funny!
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
Police were called to the local grocery store today
A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
When my son refused to take a nap, the police got involved!
Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!
π︎ 46
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
I asked my police officer friend if he had made any progress with the investigation into who stole all their internet cables.
He said: No, we haven't even got any leads.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Police stations dog squad got robbed today.
Police officials donβt have any leads at this time.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Police were questioning an egg
He couldnβt say anything, he was scrambling for words.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
What did police charge spice rack with?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?
Urine big trouble mister!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
There's a giant fly attacking the police station
Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team
π︎ 47
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
A man asks a police officer if itβs a crime to throw sodium chloride in someoneβs eyes
Officer: βYes, thatβs assault!β
Man: βI know itβs a salt, but is it a crime?β
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
The police asked me why i was carrying so many pillows
I told them i was resisting a rest.
Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
What do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
I tried to join the psychic police force
But I failed the vision test
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
π︎ 37
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
The Police Showed Up When My Son Refused to Take a Nap
They charged him with resisting a rest.
π︎ 186
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
Man seen stealing police car wheels.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station
Investigators have nothing to go on.
π︎ 373
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
There's an epidemic of exploding toilets at police stations.
Cops have nothing to go on.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Something I wonder about vegetarian police
Do you think they still go on stakeouts?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
The police officer made me pay up for my crime.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
The police found the man who was stealing the soap.
They were close to catching him so he had to come clean.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Apparently every police department has a food division
However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Bad one but an effort was made though,And for the fact police,I know he was 6 ft
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Why do police get to riots early?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars
Police are working tirelessly to catch him
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 07 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.