πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ffualo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2008
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?

Well, it’s black and white.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.

The police is working tirelessly to catch him.

πŸ‘︎ 280
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buffunder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The local police station has had its toilet stolen

Officers have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 174
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do police get to riots early?

To beat the crowd.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/srivapal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A man has been stealing police car tires

The police are working tirelessly to catch him

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ismailumair90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states

Gas, liquid, and solid

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cvzmir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Someone stole all the toilets from the police station.

They had nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VisualEyez33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night

Cops have nothing to go on

πŸ‘︎ 202
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
If police pull over a U-Haul van

did they bust a move?

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lucas_m15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
So the police locked up a toddler the other day

Turns out he was resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bowlingForRamen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole the tires off a police car

They’re working tirelessly to catch them

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jerryattrix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?

The duck was selling quack

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWolfman29
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey Sir, police jokes aren’t funny!

So give it arrest

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mac_OrchardYT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
A giant fly has attacked the local police...

Police have called SWAT team.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeaficionado_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Police were called to the local grocery store today

A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bamugo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When my son refused to take a nap, the police got involved!

Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
St Helens elephants: Doorstep mystery leaves police dumbo-founded bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arazilla96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my police officer friend if he had made any progress with the investigation into who stole all their internet cables.

He said: No, we haven't even got any leads.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gubaxter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Police stations dog squad got robbed today.

Police officials don’t have any leads at this time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Viglek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Police were questioning an egg

He couldn’t say anything, he was scrambling for words.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What did police charge spice rack with?

A salt

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?

Urine big trouble mister!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TitanPhoebs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a giant fly attacking the police station

Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.

"Ma'am you son dried "

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A man asks a police officer if it’s a crime to throw sodium chloride in someone’s eyes

Officer: β€œYes, that’s assault!”

Man: β€œI know it’s a salt, but is it a crime?”

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trace826621
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.

Now that is bold.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The police asked me why i was carrying so many pillows

I told them i was resisting a rest.

Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheese_Boi20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed?

An undercover cop.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to join the psychic police force

But I failed the vision test

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...

did he just bust a move?

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.

The frame was remarkable

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strungen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."

I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The Police Showed Up When My Son Refused to Take a Nap

They charged him with resisting a rest.

πŸ‘︎ 186
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Man seen stealing police car wheels.

The police are working tirelessly to catch him.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station

Investigators have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 373
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
There's an epidemic of exploding toilets at police stations.

Cops have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Something I wonder about vegetarian police

Do you think they still go on stakeouts?

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The police officer made me pay up for my crime.

Meh, that's fine

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timfreemints
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Row199
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The police found the man who was stealing the soap.

They were close to catching him so he had to come clean.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jubulus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently every police department has a food division

However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...

"C4 yourself".

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theboredpastor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad one but an effort was made though,And for the fact police,I know he was 6 ft
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Azreal_47
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do police get to riots early?

To beat the crowd

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1Pootato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

Police are working tirelessly to catch him

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.