πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ffualo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2008
🚨︎ report
A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

Police are working tirelessly to catch him

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I Don't Understand Why People Have Been Hating On The Police.

Roxanne is a really good song.

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amazorman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
Why did the police officer get suspended?

Beats me.

πŸ‘︎ 314
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ipooponturtles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Minneapolis City is disbanding the police

So now it's just Minnea City

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dreampursuer95
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
Math Police is here
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geeky_or_nerdy
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion

If found guilty he'll be given a real tough sentence

πŸ‘︎ 274
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
Police found a dead chickpea that was smashed

They ruled it out as hummuscide

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Corleone_Michael
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Why does the riot police get up so early?

...To beat the crowds

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unsettled_Beef121
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
I don't thing reformation of the police is possible...

After all, Andy, Sting, and Stewart have each had success with other solo projects.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
After the most historic series of fires ever, an arsonist goes into the police station to turn himself in.

It was his claim to flame

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AsSheenOnTV
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?

They took him into custardy

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oldgenmemelord
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
Apparently someone in my town has been stealing the wheels off police cars

They’ve been working tirelessly to find him

πŸ‘︎ 97
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsaustinjones
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Minneapolis dismantled the police.

Now it's just Minnea.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyprus2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Police have arrested the world tongue twister champion...

...they say he will be given a tough sentence

πŸ‘︎ 219
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evac95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
Police: We need to talk to your son about the fire at your neighbor's place

Dad: Do you mean arson?

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaushik_220601
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
I finally got the police on record and all three of them can be heard clearly.

Synchronicity from 1983! Best album ever!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TMCBarnes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
why did the coffee file a police report?

because It was mugged!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JodeneBorg
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Thieves have broken into and stolen all the toilets at the Police Station

Detectives have nothing to go on

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.

Police are working 'tirelessly' to catch him.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoheFish
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
The last person to disband the police...

...was Sting.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_oddballwoofwoof_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Why did the police drive to the protest early? /r/Jokes/comments/gvvudx/…
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mickets
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
The police found a dead alpaca in its apartment.

They ruled it llamacide!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.

I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
News just in: Local police have acquired 1000 bees

They're believed to be used as part of a sting operation

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gizmo734
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Why are people drawn to police cars?

Because of the Siren.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Princess-Nik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
The police pulled up right next to me and my Yamaha on the shoulder of the highway today…

Apparently, it’s not the best place to play a keyboard…

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
I just read that a man got fired from the police after stealing 7 breakfasts

They made an eggsample out of him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ewanhort
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Police arrested 2 kids yesterday

One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
During this outbreak, we must follow all directions from the Police

So don't stand so close to me

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mhummel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say when he was tired?

I need arrest

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mercolorecords
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Why did I come home to find a police officer in my bed?

They were an undercover cop.

πŸ‘︎ 186
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jillyjoyohoho
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
The other week the police arrived on the scene to find me upside down in my car...

They told me not to be so silly, and to sit properly...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What do police officers wear to court?

Their lawsuits

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBoiBoots
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
A man is stealing tires from police cars

The police are working tirelessly to catch him

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalHybrid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Someone stole all the toilet seats at the police station.

The police are trying to find the thief but they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
You know what would be funny? A large group of people protesting, getting into fights with police and destroying property.

It would be a riot!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flumanchu
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
Why do the Hong Kong police wake up early?

To beat the crowd.

Edit: All credit goes to u/AleoMoorea, who posted it here.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Police caught me stashing drugs under the bed

I’m now being put under a rest

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoAteMyBananana
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Police are looking for a man who was seen selling Marijuana to birds.

Eyewitness reports say that he left no Tern Unstoned.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee go to the police?

It got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
Before quarantine my father loved to tell jokes related to the context, he said police jokes to policemen, bar jokes in bars, dad jokes to other dads etc... And he misses it

Now it's only inside jokes

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorettooooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Why did the police arrest the dog?

Because he had some unpaid barking tickets

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhitePony911
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Police arrested a midget croupier this morning.

He was a small arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
The police officer asked me why I keep beating my wife...

I said "It's probably because I have quicker feet and a longer reach."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got MUGGED

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion.

They said he'll be given a tough sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Wanted: man has been stealing tires off police cars.

Authorities have been working tirelessly to catch him.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iFunny_15_T0x1c
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
Police
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JHawkBoomer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the police man say to this belly button?

"You're under a vest!"

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NedDeadStark
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
A man steals the tires of a police car

The policemen are working tirelessly to get him

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Redditermination
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Police have reported a man going into a local craft store and dipping his testicles in glitter

It's pretty nuts if you ask me!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
Police have been trying to catch a person stealing people's coins out of their pockets

But so far no change

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/korruption77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer atom say to the suspect atom?

I got my ion you.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyrilkhoury-02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
The police have just turned up at my house and arrested my dog.

Apparently he had unpaid barking tickets.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/batchyyyyy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
If you see this car, ring the police. It is stollen.
πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterEd_ak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you see the police talking to that nut outside?

I heard he was assaulted!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EasyCheese79
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
When Gordon Sumner left the police to start a solo career

It became a Sting operation

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bios_001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.

>!They had coroner-virus.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Handing myself into the police station after posting this
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jrum7000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
A polish man walks into a police station.

Polish man: help me! Help me! My wife is trying to kill me!

Police man: calm down sir, do you have any evidence that your wife is trying to kill you?

Polish man: Yes! I opened our medicine cabinet and found Polish Remover!

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Police man suspended for...
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee call the police?

Because he was mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wutisthis66204
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Police toilet stolen!

Cops have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Surf490
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
What did the cake thief do after the police released him on bail?

Ab-scone-ded.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
The toilet from the local police department was stolen last night.

The cops having nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Big mystery at the police station, someone stole all the toilets

Now they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ventanaman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
You know what the toughest thing about being a gay black police officer is?

The discrimination.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill__DeWahl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes.

That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/revsilverspine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a guy who stole wheels from police car

I am keeping my silence as police are working tirelessly to capture him

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_didnot_sayit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
I called the police to see if I had any warrants-

Turns out nobody wants me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4x4Welder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
What do the air freshener police say

Fabreeze

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the police detective with the secret clamp collection?

He had a vice vise vice.

It helped him put the squeeze on suspects.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectMeat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged

^PS ^sorry ^if ^this ^has ^been ^used ^before

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nico_Di_Angelo666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
A man stole the wheels of a police car

Police are working tirelessly to find him

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExpiredDisk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
I got a job grooming police horses

I hate working with the fuzz... But it's a stable job.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
I saw a student getting arrested by the police for plagiarism.

It was a cite to behold.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ratboid314
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Someone crossed the street in front of a police car.

Obstruction of justice!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NewSwaraelia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
A child psychic who was arrested for shoplifting has escaped police custody.

It has been reported that a small medium is at large.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, someone stole every single toilet from the Local Police Station.

Today, detectives still have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thrillhouse74
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
A hooligan has been jailed for punching three police horses

Thankfully the horses are in a stable condition.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZZiyan_11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
What did the man say when the police pulled him over for dangerous driving and said "You're Drunk!"?

Thanks God for that I thought the steering had gone...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
I saw on the news that someone just broke into my local police station and stole all the toilets.

Police say they have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 167
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a fruit running from the police recently

It was a water felon

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t police horses get sworn in?

Because they always say neigh.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rhetty0ungberg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call a police uniform?

A LAWsuit

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhett9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the police say to his bellybutton

Your under a vest

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TJVpower
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars

The police have been working tirelessly to catch him

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seidcafezinho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report

It got mugged

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jaackyboi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report

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