Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?

Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You are underAvest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacemanwho
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What do you get when you cross a policeman with a skunk ?

Law and odor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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What does the policeman say to his bellybutton ?

YOU'RE UNDER A VEST !

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichieRyuuku
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Why did the policeman cross the road

I dunno, beats me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cigarello123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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If a policeman has Coronavirus...

... the main reason must be their hand coughs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiggestForts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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A policeman on horseback...

is called a clopper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spikeratchet
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes.

My dogs don't even own bikes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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A policeman stopped me in my car and said β€œExcuse me sir. Do you know this is a one way street?”

β€œYes officer, I’m only going one way”. I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Why was the policeman constipated?

Because he was on suspended duty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drigana
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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A policeman came to my house yesterday, said he saw my dog chasing some kid on a bike.

Told him there’s no way, my dog doesn’t even know how to ride a bike.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkerhubbin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CdotBigz
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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My dad was a policeman of few words. When he guarded an ancient Egyptian Christian burial chamber he was...

A cryptic cop in a Coptic crypt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zu-den-sternen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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"You're drunk," said the policeman.

I said, "I'm not, I promise."

"Can you read the number plate of your car then, please?"

"Not from here," I replied. "It's parked seven miles away on my driveway."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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Why did the policeman pull over the U-haul?

He wanted to bust a move.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redribbonrider
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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The policeman and his son

The policeman was trying to put his young son down for a nap, but the boy wasn't cooperating.

"Do I need to call for backup?" the dad asked. "'Cuz it seems you're resisting a rest!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Starch_Contrast
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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A policeman stopped me and said I was a reckless driver.

"Trust me," I said, "I'm a lot safer when I haven't stolen the vehicle, officer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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What do you call a policeman who just ate a bunch of donuts and can’t stop taking about Immanuel Kant?

A full officer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MotherPew
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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What did the policeman say to his tummy?

You're​ under a vest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superluminary
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?

He had a tip off.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sephjnr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Policeman: What is your name?

Me: The Wizard of Oz

Policeman: Your FULL name...

Me: (quietly) the Wizard of ounces

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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