As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the β€œGuess your weight” booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.

He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pasngas42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Why do detectives tend to scrutinize individuals with bluish eyes in cases of poisoning?

Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one fish detective say to the other fish detective after interrogating someone?

They’re really sus-fish-ous

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quinn_Likes_Tacos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
what do you call a detective electrician?

Sherlock Ohms.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the poor detective say when he fell into the endless pit?

β€œI’m never going to get to the bottom of this.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nwmimms
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a friend who is an electrician and a part-time detective

We call him Sherlock Ohms.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guineaa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?

He found his locomotive.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."

"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crocodile that is a detective?

An investi-gator

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Faiz_Clan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a family of chicken detectives...

They were called β€œthe clue clucks clan”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A detective arrives

11.45 : arrived at crime scene

11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle

11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain

11.45 : Realised watch was broken

.

.

.

.

.

My son: but this is not a dad joke.

Me : what is a day joke then?

My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 195
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the detective fail to solve the mystery?

He hasn’t got a clue.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NormallyWierd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Detective Holmes: "Watson, what's taking so long in there?"

Watson (constipated): "No shit, Sherlock."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misterrandom1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of racist Irish detectives?

The Mac cleu cleus clan

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squatingonmars
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.

It was a briefcase

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wingwang100
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are distillery workers such good detectives?

They are always looking for more proof!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a detective named Frederick Lee...

His teammate is an anthropomorphic pig who wore a hood like little red riding hood. The pig’s name was Boar-Hood. So this one time, I wanted them to check out a masked menace in New York City. Fred wanted to lead the investigation. But since the criminal’s mask was animal themed, I said to them, β€œFred Lee: nay. Boar-hood: spy the man”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megadecimal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a mason and a detective?

Concrete evidence.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agent256
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.

"This concludes my probaballistic report."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthlybird
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a corrupt detective called?

A defective!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blind-folded
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).

The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.

πŸ‘︎ 392
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
2 Detectives are covering a case with a farmer

Detective 1: explain what happened please

Farmer: someone has been stealing my radishes for the past 2 months!

Detective 1: what do you think detective 2?

Detective 2: idk Beets me...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The detective bent over to study a clue just as an unknown projectile whizzed by

He sensed something amiss

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s7evenofspades
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears a sleeveless shirt that just can't let something go?

An InVESTed Gator

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A comic series my friend is making about a mustachioed private detective, Jim Velvet and his bumbling partner Humphrey
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rezikmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.

>!They had coroner-virus.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Detective at work

https://preview.redd.it/1v785xijzcg41.jpg?width=272&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=657f7c0b5d34023420c9b6a75ea11855b5990961

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are detectives fascinated by female trees?

Because they’re all mysteries.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Who's the world's most famous skeleton detective?

Sherlock BONES

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirbyjason678
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Two policemen, an officer and a detective, are investigating a murder scene.

The officer says, "Huh. They left the bills, but took the coins. Any ideas, detective?"

The detective replies, "Just another centsless crime, officer."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the police detective with the secret clamp collection?

He had a vice vise vice.

It helped him put the squeeze on suspects.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectMeat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.

"I'll never talk."

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VNPimpinella
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Goddamnit detective
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/surjuwu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The detective is on the case (low effort)
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gompie28
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Two detectives were investigating a murder at a construction site

The evidence wasn't concrete.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A detective has found the criminal who stole this lady's baggage, all in an hour.

Turns out it was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SedrioX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a detective electrician?

Sherlock Ohms

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSwedishNarwhal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a constipated detective

No shit Sherlock

πŸ‘︎ 297
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epicgamer927
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 881
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a constipated detective?

No shit Sherlock

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peterd3d
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears sleeveless shirts and just can't let something go?

An InVestedGator

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/naimz27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A detective was standing on a cliff, and said

β€œIm going to get to the bottom of this!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keeksmarie0987
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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