As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the βGuess your weightβ booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
Why do detectives tend to scrutinize individuals with bluish eyes in cases of poisoning?
Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
What did one fish detective say to the other fish detective after interrogating someone?
Theyβre really sus-fish-ous
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
what do you call a detective electrician?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
What did the poor detective say when he fell into the endless pit?
βIβm never going to get to the bottom of this.β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Iβve got a friend who is an electrician and a part-time detective
We call him Sherlock Ohms.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
π︎ 11k
π
︎ May 31 2020
What do you call a crocodile that is a detective?
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
There was a family of chicken detectives...
They were called βthe clue clucks clanβ
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
A detective arrives
11.45 : arrived at crime scene
11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle
11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain
11.45 : Realised watch was broken
.
.
.
.
.
My son: but this is not a dad joke.
Me : what is a day joke then?
My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 195
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
Why did the detective fail to solve the mystery?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Detective Holmes: "Watson, what's taking so long in there?"
Watson (constipated): "No shit, Sherlock."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
What do you call a group of racist Irish detectives?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
Why are distillery workers such good detectives?
They are always looking for more proof!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
There's a detective named Frederick Lee...
His teammate is an anthropomorphic pig who wore a hood like little red riding hood. The pigβs name was Boar-Hood. So this one time, I wanted them to check out a masked menace in New York City. Fred wanted to lead the investigation. But since the criminalβs mask was animal themed, I said to them, βFred Lee: nay. Boar-hood: spy the manβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
What do you get when you cross a mason and a detective?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 01 2020
What is a corrupt detective called?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 09 2020
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldnβt bother question 8Dβs children about what they saw, since theyβre too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9Dβs kids will remember.
π︎ 392
π
︎ Sep 04 2019
2 Detectives are covering a case with a farmer
Detective 1: explain what happened please
Farmer: someone has been stealing my radishes for the past 2 months!
Detective 1: what do you think detective 2?
Detective 2: idk Beets me...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
Why do ducks make great detectives?
They always quack the case.
π︎ 84
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
The detective bent over to study a clue just as an unknown projectile whizzed by
He sensed something amiss
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 07 2020
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears a sleeveless shirt that just can't let something go?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 28 2020
A comic series my friend is making about a mustachioed private detective, Jim Velvet and his bumbling partner Humphrey
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.
>!They had coroner-virus.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
Detective at work
https://preview.redd.it/1v785xijzcg41.jpg?width=272&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=657f7c0b5d34023420c9b6a75ea11855b5990961
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 11 2020
Why are detectives fascinated by female trees?
Because theyβre all mysteries.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 20 2020
Who's the world's most famous skeleton detective?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 31 2020
Two policemen, an officer and a detective, are investigating a murder scene.
The officer says, "Huh. They left the bills, but took the coins. Any ideas, detective?"
The detective replies, "Just another centsless crime, officer."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
Did you hear about the police detective with the secret clamp collection?
He had a vice vise vice.
It helped him put the squeeze on suspects.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
Goddamnit detective
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 19 2019
The detective is on the case (low effort)
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 21 2019
Two detectives were investigating a murder at a construction site
The evidence wasn't concrete.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
A detective has found the criminal who stole this lady's baggage, all in an hour.
Turns out it was a brief case.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 12 2017
What do you call a detective electrician?
π︎ 62
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
What do you call a constipated detective
π︎ 297
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 881
π
︎ Sep 11 2019
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 04 2018
What do you call a constipated detective?
π︎ 53
π
︎ Feb 11 2020
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears sleeveless shirts and just can't let something go?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 12 2019
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Sep 12 2019
Why do ducks make great detectives?
They always quack the case.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
A detective was standing on a cliff, and said
βIm going to get to the bottom of this!β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 16 2019
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