Why are Sherlock Holmes' taxes so low?

He's a master of deduction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SolgaleoGamePlays
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Sherlock Holmes never buys a TV Guide at Christmas.

He knows Watson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoElseButAlf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Sherlock, what kind of school is this?

Elementary, my dear Watson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMordorlorian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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No matter how many times she tried, Sherlock Holmes' wife could never convince him to grow fond of her pet duck.

He was a master of the duck shun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patricosuave
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Many people are unaware that Sherlock Holmes is based on Doctor Joseph Bell

In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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My Sherlock Holmes themed Monopoly board is exactly 12 inches

The game is a foot!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Sherlock
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GmerDestroyer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??

Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pardon_the_panj
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. ..

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Sherlock Maholmes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phailthy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What did Watson say to Sherlock Holmes after peeing?

No shit, Sherlock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shity_redditor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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What do you call a constipated Sherlock Holmes?

The no-shit Sherlock!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sg1ooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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Holmes and Watson are creeping stealthy along the Street, searching for clues, when Holmes suddenly spots a Bakery shop window and scans it with his magnifying glass. Watson perplexed, says to Sherlock " What are you looking for exactly ? " ...Holmes replies...

" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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What did Sherlock Homes say to his son when he couldn't understand him?

Watson?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8BitHandle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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Why did Sherlock Holmes go to the Mexican restaurant?

He was looking for a good CASE-IDEA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Sherlock Holmes: My dear Watson, you have a mole on your right upper thigh. /r/Jokes/comments/fu4m13/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kookykau
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting.

"A lemon tree, my dear Watson".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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β€œDad, do you remember the name of Sherlock’s friend?”

β€œWhat, son?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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Holmes: "Is that mud on your boots?" Watson: "No, shit, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that comforter on your bed?" Watson: "No, sheet, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that a long note on your desk?" Watson: "No, chit, Sherlock"

Holmes: "Is that your residence?" Watson: "No, shed, Sherlock"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Sherlock and Watson visit a murder scene

Sherlock inspects the body and notes that the man doesn't have anything covering his top. Watson looks at Sherlock and says "Yeah, no shirt, Sherlock!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/propersquid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants?

They give him good case ideas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBoobzz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Why did Sherlock Holmes eat at a Mexican Restaurant?

He wanted a good case idea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brawhalla_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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How does Sherlock Holmes ask his assistant what he is thinking about?

John, Watson your mind?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WeAreGrootUnite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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How did Dr.Watson explain his constipation to Sherlock?

He said,"No shit Sherlock."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraBatCatMan
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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Sherlock Holmes'partner asked "how's your son?"

Sherlock said, "I have a daughter" Watson?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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What do you call Watson when sherlock isn't around?

Holmeless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pinkninja1228
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Sherlock does his best thinking in the bathroom.

It's a great place for deducing.

I think I just made that one up, so bare with me if it's shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StudlyMcHandsome
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2016
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I convinced my wife to go to the Xmas party as Sherlock and Watson...

She didn't think it was very Christmassy until I sang that "I'll be Holmes for Christmas..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmcduff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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Sherlock Holmes comes home with a box of lemons...

Watson asks where he got them.

Holmes replies, "A lemon tree, my dear Watson."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaiusAurus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
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Sherlock and Watson
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vanillagueriller
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
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Why did Sherlock Holmes get angry at the airport?

He cracked the case.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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Sherlock Snowlmes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRedBow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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Sherlock opens a salon.

Sherlock combs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roiroiroiyourboat
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
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What do you call it when Sherlock Holmes is the servant of Oxygen and Boron?

OB-servant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chalaheadchala1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are stranded on a deserted island

Sherlock says: We need to get off of this island!

Watson says: No ship, Sherlock!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FwostBytee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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My dad told me that back in the day, there was a silent movie parody of Sherlock Holmes called β€œCoke Ennyday”.

And I said, β€œIsn’t that a bit on the nose?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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So John asks Sherlock what his favoritr type of rock is

And Sherlock turns around and says

"Sedimentary my dear Watson."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paradox4901
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
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SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?

WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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SHERLOCK: Is that mud on your shoe?

WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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Sherlock is working from...

Holmes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Sherlock, what do they call primary school in America?

Elementary, my dear Watson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Why did Sherlock Holmes visit a Mexican restaurant?

Because he was looking for a good case idea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatchItBuster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
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Sherlock Knows It

Sherlock, what do they call primary school in America? Elementary, my dear Watson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/euwrank3262
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons

"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson. A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAsberger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
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