Sherlock Holmes walks into a bar and orders an IPA. "I've earned this, I just finished my tax return," he tells the bartender. "Luckily I'm getting tons of cash back, thanks to all my brilliant deductions."
Apparently something was afoot.
He's a master of deduction
He knows Watson.
Elementary, my dear Watson
He was a master of the duck shun.
In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.
The game is a foot!
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path
After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
No shit, Sherlock
The no-shit Sherlock!
Watson?
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
He was looking for a good CASE-IDEA
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson".
βWhat, son?β
Holmes: "Is that comforter on your bed?" Watson: "No, sheet, Sherlock"
Holmes: "Is that a long note on your desk?" Watson: "No, chit, Sherlock"
Holmes: "Is that your residence?" Watson: "No, shed, Sherlock"
Sherlock inspects the body and notes that the man doesn't have anything covering his top. Watson looks at Sherlock and says "Yeah, no shirt, Sherlock!"
They give him good case ideas.
He wanted a good case idea
John, Watson your mind?
He said,"No shit Sherlock."
It's a great place for deducing.
I think I just made that one up, so bare with me if it's shit.
Holmeless
Sherlock said, "I have a daughter" Watson?
Watson asks where he got them.
Holmes replies, "A lemon tree, my dear Watson."
She didn't think it was very Christmassy until I sang that "I'll be Holmes for Christmas..."
He cracked the case.
OB-servant
Sherlock combs.
Sherlock says: We need to get off of this island!
Watson says: No ship, Sherlock!
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
WATSON: No, shit Sherlock.
Holmes
Elementary, my dear Watson
Because he was looking for a good case idea.
Sherlock, what do they call primary school in America? Elementary, my dear Watson.
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson. A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree.
