Officer: You’re under arrest for stealing the Wikipedia servers...
Me: But officer, I can explain everything!
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
What bird a cop can arrest?
A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said “ sir I’m going to have to put you under arrest.” The guy then said
What do you call the dinosaurs that arrest other dinosaurs for stealing?
Why did they arrest the owl?
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
bitch sent me into cardiac arrest
What did the police officer arrest the cow for?
Why did the cop arrest the duck?
Because peace was never an option.
P.S it was selling quack.
Why did the government arrest a rancher who fed cannabis to his cattle?
The stakes were too high.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling
Why was the child arrest for not taking a nap?
He was guilty of resisting a rest.
Imagine if a cop was trying to make an arrest and...
...they noticed you were already under a rest, so they left.
A man was arrested at the beach for feeding pot brownies to the seagulls. It was his third such arrest because, as he put it,...
“I shall leave no tern unstoned.”
Do you have any outstanding warrants for your arrest?
Sorry, officer. They’re all pretty mediocre.
Why did the FBI arrest the introvert?
He didn't want to open up
Police tried to arrest some jeans....
they just couldn’t get them cuffed.
A cop busts into a strip club to arrest a guy and yells...
Freeze, you're under abreast!
I never understood cardiac arrest, but after medical training
I can finally defibrelate
Cop: you’re under arrest for illegally downloading all of Wikipedia.
Me: wait, officer, I can explain everything!
You're under arrest!
My boss' 7 year old daughter came to work and ran up to me with this one:
"You're under arrest!"
"For what?! You have no proof!"
thinks to herself before running to get box packing tape
"I have the security tape right here!"
👏
Why did mona lisa resist the arrest ?
Cuz da Vinci had framed her
Did you hear about the naked guy found circling the same bush over and over again at the park? The cops came to arrest him for indecent exposure. When asked why he would do such a thing...
he kept beating around the bush.
Why did the cop arrest his infant son?
Because he was resisting a rest
When cant the cops arrest you for smoking weed?
Why did they arrest the Mexican train conductor?
Because he had a loco motive!
What did the police arrest the hospital patient for?
He was under cardiac arrest
Why did animal control arrest the dog on the side of the road who was giving birth?
Someone really needs to arrest the night sky for indecent exposure.
Cops arrest two kids! One for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks.
They plan to charge one and let the other one off.
Always carry around handcuff keys, it can get you out of cardiac arrest
Why did they arrest the guy who buried people in cement?
They had concrete evidence against him.
I called the police because a man was screaming about large bodies of water and outdoor storage units, but when the police arrived they couldn't arrest him, as he denied everything.
It was a real "He Said Sea Shed" situation.
What do you call it when you arrest a bunch of Catholics?
Police arrest albacore abusers...
All part of the tuna-lick fringe.
I was travelling to Australia and they asked me at the gate if I had any arrests or felonies...
I didnt know that was still a requirement to get in!
What did the St. Louis police say when they couldn't arrest a man placing snails on people?
It's about slime we caught this Louisville slugger!
Why did the police officer arrest the turkey?
Because he suspected fowl play.
“You are under arrest for downloading the whole of Wikipedia!”
“Wait, I can explain everything.”
Why did the police arrest the duck?
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