I worked security at a chemical plant. There had been a string of robberies at nearby chemical plants, and one night... lo and behold- we heard the alarm...

My coworker and I tried to apprehend them but they were just too phosphorus…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Police recently apprehended prime suspects.

One was released on a technicality, but two and three are still in custody.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sprelish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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What did the dad say when he apprehended the man who stole a roast chicken from a supermarket?

There's no such thing as a poultry crime! (Stolen from a hero dad in country Australia http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/give-me-the-bloody-chicken-hero-dad-thwarts-chook-thief-outside-coles-20180109-h0fl5g.html )

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cloverface
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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Did you hear about the bird over selling pirated dumbbells?

Police fear they'll never be able to apprehend Jacked Sparrow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clockworkcarrot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
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