Police are investigating a murder in which the victim was shot with a starters pistol.
The police think it's race-related.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
When I found my little son on the floor, I briefly thought a murder took place
Fortunately, it was just a kid napping.
π︎ 32
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Murder is not a joke, Jim!
π︎ 768
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︎ Sep 28 2020
I heard someone was planning a murder
I was worried until I found out he was a Crow
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︎ Jan 03 2021
A murder investigation or a murder investigating?
π︎ 1k
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 26 2020
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Murders being conducted all over this block
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 06 2020
What do you call appetizers at a murder mystery party?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 194
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Attempted Murder
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︎ Jul 08 2020
I witnessed a murder today
But as I got closer it flew away
π︎ 26
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︎ Sep 25 2020
What did Margaret Attwood title her latest murder mystery novel, about an Egyptian serial killer who kept drowning people?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Did you hear about the murder in the clown mafia?
The police are saying it was an inside joke.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
How did the pasta get away with murder?
The prosecution had gnocci witnesses
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 05 2020
What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?
Investigators aren't sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
If a group of crows is called a murder of crows...
does that mean 2 or 3 would be an attempted murder?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Who decided to call them βmurder hornetsβ
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︎ May 06 2020
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
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︎ Oct 01 2020
We then asked a artist about the murder:
βI art to be feeling badβ they said
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I thought I witnessed a murder today
I only counted 2 crows though, so I guess it was really an attempted murder
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 08 2020
A serial killer murders people by suffocating them with pig intestines
His media name is Wurst Case Scenario
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
A fish goes to court for murder
The fish is found βgillβty
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 30 2020
What do you call a pub thatβs famous for its murders?
π︎ 16
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︎ Jul 05 2020
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
π︎ 16
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Today in the paper I saw that there was a murder in my neighbourhood.
Now that is quite the issue
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
I bought a murder mystery jigsaw.
I'm still trying to piece it together.
π︎ 33
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︎ Jun 14 2020
The court released the suspect on the grounds of being on an armor show on the night of the murder ...
it was an ironclad alibi!
π︎ 12
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︎ Jul 12 2020
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 26 2020
Two police officers were investigating a murder scene.
They stumble upon a humanoid cement figure.
Officer 1: "Sir, we've found all the evidence we need to prove that this is the murderer's house."
Officer 2: "Why would anyone believe that this is evidence?"
Officer 1: "It's concrete."
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︎ Jul 02 2020
A group of crows is called a murder, but what do you call a group of really loud crows?
π︎ 11
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︎ May 21 2020
How do you get a murder of crows to stick together?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 09 2020
What happened to the murder hornets?
They were told to buzz off.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 05 2020
A tempted murder
π︎ 536
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︎ Aug 10 2019
The murder in the botanical garden had a very obvious suspect
Turns out the evidence was planted
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︎ May 19 2020
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldnβt bother question 8Dβs children about what they saw, since theyβre too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9Dβs kids will remember.
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︎ Sep 04 2019
In order to have a murder of crows, there must be probable caws.
π︎ 8k
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︎ Sep 04 2018
What do you call someone who commits a murder with a deck of cards that only has clubs, spades, and diamonds?
π︎ 2
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︎ May 22 2020
Cop 1: This murder seems racially motivated.
Cop 2: Hate crime?
Cop 1: Of course I hate crime. Thatβs why I became a cop.
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︎ Aug 23 2019
Iβm creating a new show about a leatherworker that goes crazy and murders his relatives
Itβs called Awl in the Family
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 16 2020
π︎ 25
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︎ Sep 23 2019
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 879
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︎ Sep 11 2019
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 04 2018
What happened to the murder hornets?
They were told to buzz off!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
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