What kind of bird doesn’t know the words to their own song?
I woke up this morning to find two birds sitting in the sun in our backyard eating ice cream.
They were Basking Robins.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese
My wife works with birds at the zoo. The other day I asked her about the lifespan of a falcon. She said they usually live for about 15 to 20 years.
"I guess that means all the Millennial Falcons are gone."
When is it against the law to have a sick bird?
A bird flew into the warehouse and we had to catch it
So we decided to set up a Boobie Trap
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
During a soccer game, one of the players hit a bird with the ball
The Referee said it was a Fowl.
If the stork is the burd that brings babies, what is the bird that prevents babies ?
Which is the bird that can do the things that you can do, as well?
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
Why did the bird fly into the sea?
He was looking for a perch.
My 2 pet birds got stuck together, so I took them to the vets to see what they could do.
Apparently, he couldn't do anything, because it was just....
Toucan-fusing.
If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get?
I spent all morning at the lake photographing birds. Enjoyable but I didn’t see a thing.
What did the cattleman said to the bird?
Why did everyone ignore the tall flightless bird?
Because he was Ostrich-sized
Why couldn't the man stop buying birds?
Have you heard about the disease you get from kissing birds ?
It's called Chirpies. It's a canarial disease. It's untweetable.
When migrating birds fly in the shape of a V, do you know why one side is always longer than the other?
That side has more birds.
I just saw two birds flying side by side into the courthouse.
I think they’re called “paraleagles.”
Sitting around watching the birds crowd around the bird feeder,
My brother says, "Someone must have left a good Yelp review."
I said, "Yeah, somebody tweeted about it."
So if a bird lives by the sea it’s a seagull. If it lives by the bay it’s bagel.
So if it’s covered in slime, is it a googull?
I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.
https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282
The bird war is over
They signed a peace tweety
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Out of all the birds that exist, owls are the most beautiful.
They are quite the head turner.
What did the avid bird hunter do?
Did you hear about the dancing bird?
What time of the year is it usually fly or die for baby birds?
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.
There just happens to be more birds on that side.
Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?
Because anything more than one is murder.
What did the bird do when it found a spider?
It tweeted out the location of the website.
which side of a bird has the most feathers?
A wonderful bird, the pelican.
His beak can hold more than his bellycan.
A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.
His actions were highly ill-eagle
How do you let birds know when you've refilled the bird feeder?
While we were out on the lake, my girlfriend swore she saw a bird dive into the water...
What did the bird say at his wedding
What are the sweetest birds?
Did you hear about the man selling dead birds for $4000
Why do birds always need to go to the doctor?
Because they constantly have the flew
Why does the bird alphabet have 27 letters?
Which is the most sarcastic bird?
Bird flew into the window today. No fowl play suspected as of now.
What did the farmer say to his fellow farmer when they bought another bird?
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Why do birds fly south for the winter
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