Passing that could not have been pleasant
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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What do you call someone who looks just like you on a passing train?

A Dopplerganger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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My friend on Facebook just made a post about her favorite professor passing today.

I really wanted to comment and say β€œAt least he passed and didn’t fail.”

But, I feel like it’s too soon and wouldn’t be appreciated.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomPseudonyms
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Went to my doctors today. He asked me if I had any problems passing water.

I said, "I always feel a bit queasy crossing Brooklyn Bridge."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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So with Alex Trebek’s passing....

Is his life not in Jeopardy any more?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/donotbelieveit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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*Passing every cemetery as a child* Dad would exclaim....

"WOW, people are DYING to get into that place!"

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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The passing cannibal

Hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aw8nf8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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I started a job watching hourglasses just to check if the correct amount of time was passing for them.

But recently I’ve been bringing in model airplanes so I can make the hourglasses passengers and watch time fly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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I have lots of Kenny Rogers jokes, but in light of his recent passing, I won't tell them.

You gottta know when to hold 'em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/REVDR
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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What do bobble heads and dads in passing have in common?

Nod a whole lot

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmosier3821
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Ahh.. nothing like the passing of the four seasons here in lovely Ireland

Easily my favorite day of the year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. /r/Jokes/comments/hrlc58/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLegendOfTrain
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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They are just passing the time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hugfry
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Passing the time in quarantine teaching the cat to dance...

Waste of time turns out hes got two left feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blacky-o-hare
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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While passing a "Lots for Sale" sign...

My dad asks "They have lots of what for sale?" with a shit-eating grin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShallNot_Pass
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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2/3 is a passing grade

but when I lose one of my three kids, everyone freaks out like I did something horrible. πŸ˜’

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OratioFidelis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up…

Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Dad'.

With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad.

She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.

She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.

I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home!"

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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I’ve been passing gas for hours

Maybe it’s time to pull off and fill up the tank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Good_Kid_Mad_City
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Passing the planet to the next generation v.redd.it/hmxcb704tp221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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So I was passing by a cemetery with my dad today, and he turns to me and goes, "You know, people living in Denver can't be buried there" and I look at him and ask him "Why?"

He looks at me and says "Because they aren't dead yet".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScumbagCoov
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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My son just became a father for the first time today and in passing on the paternal torch...

...when he asked me where I kept all my dad jokes, I told him that they were stored in my dadabase.…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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Celebrated passing my certification exams...

http://i.imgur.com/3jYfmdE.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 770
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wooperdoop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2017
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What did the traffic light say to the passing driver?

Don't look, I'm changing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SammyWammyCammy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Passing the Dad joke torch

I was describing to my family a weed I'd found in the garden, which had a "strong herbal smell." My daughter (3), who loves to joke about words, grinned and said, "Turtle smell?"

My mother, to engage with her, said, "How does a turtle smell?"

My father and I answered in perfect unison: "With its nose!"

It felt like a significant moment in my growth as a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondjimbond
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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They're passing a law that bans all pastry chefs from voting

Apparently bakers can't be choosers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weggo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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*passing a newly built funeral home*

Dad: You know, that funeral home is already pretty popular. People are just dying to get in there.

Real life dad joke y'all. You're welcome.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Passing by a restaurant

Me and my father were driving down a street and he pointed out an obvious rip-off of Five Guys. It was a hamburger restaurant called Two Guys. I was a little peaved at them.

Dad: They're not even half the resturaunt Five Guys is.

It took me a minute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waterdrop66
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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Hey! See the cemetery we are passing now? Well, the man who invented the crossword is actually buried there...

... his grave is 3 down and 7 across!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarcusBondi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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Did you hear about the founder of Little Caesar’s Pizza, Mike Ilitch, passing away?

May he rest in peace-a peace-a.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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As we were passing over a railroad crossing my dad gave me this one.

Him: A train just came through there, you know how I could tell?

Me: How?

Him: I could see its tracks.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
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Alcoholic law students have trouble passing the bar.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masta666
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2014
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As today marks my fathers passing here is his greatest...

Sitting passed out in his chair in the nursing home, dying from Alzheimer's disease, my father the Lutheran pastor farts as loud as can be and looks up tiredly and says.. "What'd that asshole say?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PirbyKuckett
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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passing a cemetery

"Did you know that no one living on this street is allowed to be buried here?"

"Hm, no.. why not?"

"It's illegal to bury the living, honey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/something_secret
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2013
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Dad's really sad about the dough boy passing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jenjank
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
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While passing a tall building...

Dad: You see that building? It's 6 stories.

Me: Yeah.

Dad: Well, it used to be 7... but that's another story

-______-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boneracademy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2013
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As my dad and I were passing a cemetery ...

He pointed across to it and asked me this:

Dad: How many dead people do you think are out there?

Me ..? 125?

Dad: All of 'em I hope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2rideascooter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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My dad's go-to joke when I was growing up, that I will most definitely be passing on to my kin.

When I would figure something out, or when I would show him that I made a good grade on a something..

"You're so bright. That's why I call you son."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theearthvolta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
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I'm glad the dark times are finally passing...

Everything is so "lit" these days

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IIIIRadsIIII
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
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We were passing by a place called the Donut Bagel Cafe

My dad glances over and says "Be respectful, we're passing by a holey place."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelaserpenguin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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Someone found out a way of passing between walls

They called it "doors".

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kmvot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
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(True) My grandfather and I were passing a graveyard in the car.

GF: "Minnie's buried there."

me: "Minnie who?"

GF: "Minnie people."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k-smackerel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2015
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After passing this guy on our 16 hour family drive today,

My son in the back seat says; "Dad Waze shows the speed limit is 65mph but we are we are going faster than that. Are you breaking the law by speeding? I had to slow down to let my wife take this picture because I replied "It's all going to be ok, Nationwide is by our side!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/backwudsmodified
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
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Christmas, a time for passing on traditions

I bought a bottle of whiskey for our pastor and when my son saw it he said, "straight rye whiskey ... the true spirit of Christmas."

He's going to make a great dad someday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akustix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
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When I got lost with my Dad as a passenger and ended up passing a cemetery

D: "What app do ghosts use to get directions?"

Me: "What?"

D: "Boo-ghoul maps"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vicentil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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Passing by a funeral home

People are dying to get in there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/In_Da_Nile
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2013
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Passing a funeral home with a line outside....

"Look , people are dying to get in."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ButtNuster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2014
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