I’ve recently discovered I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🀩

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whoopass_voice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Here's a step-by-step guide on how to fall down stairs!

Step 28

Step 27

Step 24

Step 21

Step 16

Step 12

Step 7

Step 3

Step 1

πŸ‘︎ 652
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I have a step ladder at home...

... I never knew my real ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 705
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dream_digital
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon

Neil before me

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Multiple thefts of porch steps from different addresses in downtown Detroit.

Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
What do you get if Godzilla steps on a bar?

Pub Squash!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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All step dads are faux pas

If you find this joke in the sub or other subs please link...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What happens when you unintentionally step on a duck

A quackcident

πŸ‘︎ 671
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metaldom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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My step sister and I share the same dad.

But her birth was a whole wifetime ago

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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I told my carpenter not to carpet my steps.

He gave me a blank stair.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlaik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The first step in confronting a crafting problem,

is a mitten knit.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Step out of the car
πŸ‘︎ 234
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I have a step ladder...

I never knew my real ladder, but my step ladder raised me.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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A staircase is just a stair with extra steps.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DIzzy13579
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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The first step to not be rude?

Don’t stair.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SugarCookieBear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I'm Buzz Aldrin, second person ever to step on the moon.....

Neil before me

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Flip flops are fun. Every time you take a step....

....it's like a high five for your foot.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
An electrician asks if I could hand him his step ladder. I said sure no problem.

He said β€œThanks! I never knew my real ladder.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/birdx90
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How to draw a horse in two steps:
  1. Draw a unicorn.
  2. Erase his horn.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rozsaszin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you say when your sister steps on your foot and breaks your toe in half?

That's mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRedGandalf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was walking downstairs with the laundry, and dropped it when she missed a step.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Social distancing is just a step in the right direction.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanlafitte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My step-ladder is nice and supportive.

But sometimes I wish I would've known my real-ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clever_Sean
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Step on it.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Garrufes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chord that has its third moved up a half-step?

A little sus

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P8ntballz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Steps to become rich
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...

I'm not sure why he was stairing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Here's my step-ladder

I never knew my real ladder

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUltimaWerewolf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
This is my step ladder,

I never met my real ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirOnyxborn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
This is another step towards greatness
πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexy_balls_69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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One small step for dad jokes, one large step for pun lines...
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_orthodocs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you step on a grape?

It lets out a little wine.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs.

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 4:

Step 7:

Step 12:

Step 18:

Step 25:

Hospital

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriedLime
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My step-dad came up with this so hope it counts. What do you call a gay farmer?

A jolly rancher

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xianthamist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Cooking up some drugs is easy if u know the steps and calculate the correct dosages

Like, it’s basic meth

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApexPredator1509_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My step-father just told me this after picking peppers from his garden:

"You should put these in your tea. Then it would be HOT tea."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlumeHound9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid hasn't used a step ladder...

He says it's not his real ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAmerica80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
It is always make me uncomfortable when people ask about my step-ladder...

... I never even knew my real ladder

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no1krampus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
After the contractor did a poor job installing the moving stairs in our office building my boss threw him down the steps.

That escalated quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Learn to walk in two easy steps

Right, Left.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Soviet_Boy_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I could borrow the step-stool from my mom, OR i could go buy something taller.

I prefer the ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the cell say to his sister when she steps on his toe?

Oh my toe sis!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Step 1: be friends with a god. Step 2: tell other people about your friend.

Step 3: prophet.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Batman_AoD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon.

Neil before me.

πŸ‘︎ 27k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mooshoopork4
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Step by step guide on how to fall down the stairs.

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 4:

Step 7:

Step 12:

Step 18:

Step 25:

Hospital

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FriedLime
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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