Multiple thefts of porch steps from different addresses in downtown Detroit.

Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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The first step in confronting a crafting problem,

is a mitten knit.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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How to draw a horse in two steps:
  1. Draw a unicorn.
  2. Erase his horn.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rozsaszin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you say when your sister steps on your foot and breaks your toe in half?

That's mitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRedGandalf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Social distancing is just a step in the right direction.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanlafitte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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After the contractor did a poor job installing the moving stairs in our office building my boss threw him down the steps.

That escalated quickly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Learn to walk in two easy steps

Right, Left.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Soviet_Boy_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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I just failed a fire safety course when they asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion...

Apparently, "extremely large ones" wasn’t an acceptable answer...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop.

I guess you could say it's a pet peeve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meta_pun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.

I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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What do you call 100 rabbits in a straight line that take a step back at the same time?

Receding hare line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pscud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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I’m deathly afraid of elevators, in fact I take a lot of steps to avoid them.
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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How to stop procrastination in a few Easy steps

I'll add them later so save this if you want

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πŸ‘€︎ u/termsofuse1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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When I show people my step ladder I always tell them in a sad voice,

β€œI never knew my real ladder.”

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator in three steps?
  1. Open the refrigerator door
  2. Put the elephant in
  3. Close the refrigerator door
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πŸ‘€︎ u/souryadg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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What do you call it when you step in milk?

Legindairy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RhetoricalGrapes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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Getting fire training at work and was asked what steps to take in the event of a fire.

I said BIG ONES in the opposite direction of the fire....apparently the wrong answer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I love this warm weather coming around. Really puts a Spring in my step.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wood_and_rock
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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I saw a kid getting bullied by 3 other kids so i decided to step in

He didnt have a chance against the 4 of us

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrabbyScorpion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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What do you call a step dad who makes awkward comments in social situations?

A faux pa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wecandobetter13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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My mom accidentally kneed my step-dad in his thigh.

She apologized when he told her she got him hard enough to leave a bruise and she, jokingly, asked if he would leave her over it.

He replied, "No. Because you kneed me..." and winked.

-_-

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2016
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I've decided to step up my dad joke game in 2015

So I'm posting this from the upstairs computer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hawkline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
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I have a tattoo of the Scottish flag on my arm. Step dad is in Scotland.

Step dad texts me this morning

"Hey Paul, they really love you over here in Scotland, they show your tattoo everywhere!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/12VFanatic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2015
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My Step-Dad was telling a story about when he got carbon monoxide poisoning when he was in the Army.

I asked "Did you tell your... CO?"

He didn't get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ymir24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Got in a fight with my step ladder today...

I just wish it'd quit trying to replace my real ladder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acrowsmurder
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was trying to reach something high in a cupboard. I asked if she had the choice between a step-stool or something taller...

...would she chose the latter?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Please_Disregard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
🚨︎ report
My 5 year old son went out to the kitchen, gets the step stool, and sets it up in the middle of the living room...

I'm sitting here on the couch watching him run back and forth across the room while he makes race car noises. After a few minutes, I ask him what he's doing.

He replies, "I'm passing stool!"

...What have I created?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayDee240
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
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"There's been water on the basement stairs since it rained. Make sure you don't step in it."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_england
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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Texting my sister when autocorrect decided to step in

Me: I just go on reddit during my breaks. I find it a good way to pass time on my phone without using heaps of data like tumblr does Sister: That's true.. but I mainly just read fanfics Me: I'm trying to not read fabrics bc I have so many books to read Sister: Lol you read fabrics? Me: Nah, reddit has better threads than fabrics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/childhoodgames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2016
🚨︎ report
I failed a health and safety course yesterday. One of the questions was β€˜in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?’

β€˜Large ones’ was apparently the wrong answer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pheebsbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I failed my fire safety course when I was asked what steps I would take in case there was an explosion.

β€œReally large ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.

πŸ‘︎ 844
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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I stepped on a spring and now I have a spring in my step.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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