I couldn't get a reservation at the library.
They were completely booked.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
How does Santa keep his library organized?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
π︎ 192
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
A man walks into the library and asks, "Do you have any books on poor eyesight."
"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.
π︎ 98
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
Why giraffe goes to the library after school?
Everything he reads there is higher studies.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 16 2021
There is a sign outside my local library that says 'Watch for Cars'
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 30 2020
What do you call the area around a library?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Why is it a good idea to put more books in prison libraries?
Because the prose outweigh the cons.
π︎ 203
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
I went to the Med school library to get a book on abdominal pain
Someone had already ripped the appendix out.
π︎ 32
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︎ Nov 16 2020
I asked the library women of there are any books on the Titanic
She said they might have been damaged, wet and moldy.
π︎ 36
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I tried to make a reservation at the school library. The librarian say I couldn't.
They were completely booked.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I tried to plan a tour of the worlds oldest library
Unfortunately it was fully booked
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
How do you find the right book in a library that was caught in a flood?
Using the mildewey decimal system!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Police are appealing to the man that robbed the library
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 06 2020
I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...
... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Two books meet in a Library. One says ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..
... Just had my Appendix removed.
π︎ 616
π
︎ May 30 2020
What do volunteers clean up outside of libraries?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
"Sorry sir, the library is closed."
"But I've booked a meeting."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
I tried to schedule a time to go into my local library
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
Told my daughter I was unable to make reservations at the library..
They were completely booked
She wonβt talk to me
π︎ 84
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat.
The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."
π︎ 442
π
︎ May 16 2020
I went to the library looking for a book about Pavlovβs dog and SchrΓΆdingerβs cat
The librarian said it rang a bell but she wasnβt sure if it was there or not.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
I went to the library during this pandemic only to see that they were at capacity and weren't letting other people in.
I guess you could say the library was fully booked
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 18 2020
I got kicked out of the library for being too noisy
I tried to explain to them that I was just reading a book but the librarian said there's no reading aloud.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
It's impossible to get a reservation in the library.
They are always fully booked.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
What did the novels do when the library caught fire?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
Why is it so hard to make an appointment at the library?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
Why did James Bond keep his library book?
Because it was Due Another Day
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
A guy goes into a library and asks about books on premature ejaculation. The librarian tells him the book is checked out til next week.
The guy comes in the next day looking for the books again but quickly apologizes. Sorry I came early.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
I was caught read handed in the Library.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
I went into the library and asked for a book on turtles.
The lady said, "hardback?" I replied, "yes, with little wrinkled heads"
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 12 2020
I just got a new job at a prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Feb 21 2019
I rushed to my local hospital only to find that it had been converted into a library
Talk about having to suffer in silence
π︎ 339
π
︎ Dec 01 2019
I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.
"It's not our fault" said the librarian,
"That's the one" I replied.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
Who decided to call it a Library
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 16 2020
Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Dec 08 2019
I went to the library to find books about delivering babies...
The librarian told me they were in the C-section.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 03 2020
I just tried to make reservations at the library...
I couldnβt get one though. They were fully booked
π︎ 28
π
︎ Mar 18 2020
We were at the library when my mate asked "Hey, could I borrow your book mark?"
I got mad and walked out. After 3 years of being college flatmates, he doesn't even know my name is Tom.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 09 2020
My wife asked me what I do for hours at a time at the beauty school library. I replied ...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 16 2019
A man walked into a Library...
A Man Walked into a Library. He approached the front desk, rapped on the wood with his knuckles, and declared "MA'AM, I WOULD LIKE A CHEESEBURGER AND FRIES." The receptionist was startled, and replied "sir, please.. this is a library!" The man gasped, looked around surprised, and replied in a very quiet whisper: "i'm so sorry. i would like a cheeseburger and fries."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 20 2020
I couldn't reserve a seat in library. Turns out they were...
π︎ 139
π
︎ Aug 31 2019
I asked the librarian if there were any books about paranoia in the library
She whispered , "They're right behind you..."
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
What do you call the area around a Library?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
Two books meet up in a Library. One says, ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..
.. just had my Appendix removed.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.
Somebody had ripped the appendix out.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
Tried to schedule a date with my girlfriend at my local library
π︎ 68
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jul 20 2018
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