I couldn't get a reservation at the library.

They were completely booked.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
How does Santa keep his library organized?

Bookish elves

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 192
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into the library and asks, "Do you have any books on poor eyesight."

"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why giraffe goes to the library after school?

Everything he reads there is higher studies.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
There is a sign outside my local library that says 'Watch for Cars'

Its a pretty good deal

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Om_Nair
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the area around a library?

Know-man's land

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robot-kun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Why is it a good idea to put more books in prison libraries?

Because the prose outweigh the cons.

πŸ‘︎ 203
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the Med school library to get a book on abdominal pain

Someone had already ripped the appendix out.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naj_md
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the library women of there are any books on the Titanic

She said they might have been damaged, wet and moldy.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to make a reservation at the school library. The librarian say I couldn't.

They were completely booked.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kurlythemonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the area around a Library?

Know man's land.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robot-kun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to plan a tour of the worlds oldest library

Unfortunately it was fully booked

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find the right book in a library that was caught in a flood?

Using the mildewey decimal system!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BootsyBootsyBoom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Police are appealing to the man that robbed the library

To come quietly

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...

... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Two books meet in a Library. One says ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..

... Just had my Appendix removed.

πŸ‘︎ 616
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do volunteers clean up outside of libraries?

Literature.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/squasher04
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
"Sorry sir, the library is closed."

"But I've booked a meeting."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nor3Redditer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to schedule a time to go into my local library

They were fully booked!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TNormus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Told my daughter I was unable to make reservations at the library..

They were completely booked

She won’t talk to me

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat.

The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."

πŸ‘︎ 442
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.

Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the library looking for a book about Pavlov’s dog and SchrΓΆdinger’s cat

The librarian said it rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/colemacgrath2009
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the library during this pandemic only to see that they were at capacity and weren't letting other people in.

I guess you could say the library was fully booked

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFabulousXD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Tried to schedule a date with my girlfriend at my local library

But it was all booked

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/actuaryvsp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I got kicked out of the library for being too noisy

I tried to explain to them that I was just reading a book but the librarian said there's no reading aloud.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/imalilfatgirl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
It's impossible to get a reservation in the library.

They are always fully booked.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the novels do when the library caught fire?

They booked it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it so hard to make an appointment at the library?

They're always booked.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FuriousStyles13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did James Bond keep his library book?

Because it was Due Another Day

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy goes into a library and asks about books on premature ejaculation. The librarian tells him the book is checked out til next week.

The guy comes in the next day looking for the books again but quickly apologizes. Sorry I came early.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mark503
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I was caught read handed in the Library.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuma_Paws_376
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I went into the library and asked for a book on turtles.

The lady said, "hardback?" I replied, "yes, with little wrinkled heads"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I just got a new job at a prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/washcapsfan37
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I rushed to my local hospital only to find that it had been converted into a library

Talk about having to suffer in silence

πŸ‘︎ 339
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.

"It's not our fault" said the librarian,

"That's the one" I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Who decided to call it a Library

And not Paper View?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HereComesArya
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?

It tocked too much.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the library to find books about delivering babies...

The librarian told me they were in the C-section.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pidderz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I just tried to make reservations at the library...

I couldn’t get one though. They were fully booked

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B7dust11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
We were at the library when my mate asked "Hey, could I borrow your book mark?"

I got mad and walked out. After 3 years of being college flatmates, he doesn't even know my name is Tom.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me what I do for hours at a time at the beauty school library. I replied ...

... eye brows.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0618033989
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walked into a Library...

A Man Walked into a Library. He approached the front desk, rapped on the wood with his knuckles, and declared "MA'AM, I WOULD LIKE A CHEESEBURGER AND FRIES." The receptionist was startled, and replied "sir, please.. this is a library!" The man gasped, looked around surprised, and replied in a very quiet whisper: "i'm so sorry. i would like a cheeseburger and fries."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbacconnn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't reserve a seat in library. Turns out they were...

completely booked.

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kones_6999
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if there were any books about paranoia in the library

She whispered , "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Two books meet up in a Library. One says, ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..

.. just had my Appendix removed.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.