While watching Harry Potter once, I said to my Dad “I wonder what the Hogwarts version of a dirty magazine would be” as Harry was rooting through his chest of things.
Without skipping a beat he said “Whorelocks.”
I hit Dwayne Johnson with a magazine
I fell asleep last night while reading old magazines.
I woke up this morning with back issues.
I'm having trouble getting rid of my old magazines.
The Car of the Year for 2021 as votes by Woman magazine is.....
What type of magazines do cows read?
Why did Timmy eat his dad's magazine?
The cover told readers to "Digest"
Did you hear about the guy trying out for editor for the sums series of Math Magazine?
It was an addition edition audition.
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
American Airlines Magazine Cover: Unsung Heroes - Sandwiches you’ve never heard of but need to try
I recently subscribed to a nice little magazine about steaks.
It's a rare medium well done.
My glitch happened when I forgot to renew my subscription to a weekly news magazine based in New York City.
What do you get if you have a subsciption to a magazine that is all about fathers?
A year ago, I got a subscription to a magazine for mentally ill people.
Dad, Son, and Magazine
Dad, here in this magazine it is written that masturbation significantly weakens sight. Is it true? He replies: Read for me. I can’t find my glasses anywhere.
What kind of magazines do cows read?
What does Playboy use to print their magazines?
A friend of mine offered me a piece of a pizza made out of a magazine that's no longer published. Hesitant at first, it turned out to be tasty!
My boss yelled at me for cutting articles out of a magazine at work.
He said to do it on my own Time.
Saw these two magazines next to each other at Target and couldn’t help myself.
What magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read?
Googles meme magazines. Finds this.
My doctor recommended I sleep on a stack of old magazines.
I'm an avid subscriber to Father Magazine.
I guess you could say I've got Daddy issues.
Pennywise the clown is listed in Forbes magazine, for what It's worth.
A man named Nicholas Justin retires early from his job at a prominent magazine
At the retirement party, his boss says, "You might be getting to the next stage in your life early, but you'll always be Justin, the Nick of Time."
My dad recieved a phone call from the magazine "Runner's World"
women on the phone asks:
- "is (mother) home?"
- dad: "no, she just ran off"
- women: "oh, ok"
I dont think she got it.
edit: This is actually funnier how he said it in dutch (our native language). his words were "ze heeft ze benen genomen" which literally means " she has taken the legs".
I called Serena Williams to interview her for a magazine article and asked, “So Serena, What’s your favorite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: I’m sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?
I bought a porn mag company and I'm making it into a Christian magazine.
I'm still working out a few kinks
I once dated a girl that collected magazines.
But she had too many issues.
What do you call the staff of a British fashion and lifestyle magazine waiting for a warm beverage?
Why does Dwayne Johnson sleep under a pile of magazines?
My friend told me a story of how his little brother ate pages of a magazine and I asked if it was Readers Digest.
I’m too proud of myself to not tell anyone. I honestly think it was like one of those jokes that you come up with after the opportunity has passed, accept this time I thought of it quick enough. I hope this doesn’t appear as self-aggrandizement, I just think it was a good pun.
I once dated a magazine collector.
Let me tell you,she had some issues.
What did the waiter say when a man blamed him for losing his magazine?
Sorry sir we are not responsible for lost any articles.
Found this cute sheruff in a magazine.
My dad, Paul, was interviewed for the union magazine where he works. I feel sorry for the guy who interviewed him.
Here's a scanned excerpt, via Imgur.
Transcript (Important part in boldface):
Extremely pragmatic and frugal in nature -- "a lot of stuff I see people buying is completely nonessential" -- Paul has a soft spot for absolutely any joke, and the more esoteric, the better. Instead of his proper name on his office template, "The Buck Stops Here" appears. The other day, he stopped me in the hallway and asked "What will the people carrying the coffin at my funeral be called?"
I wait.
"Paul bearers", he declares, followed by a knee-slapping hearty guffaw.
EDIT: Fixed Imgur link.
I don't get to read magazines often,
What type of magazine do cows read?
Me to daughter: Do you read any magazines?
Daughter: Yes I do... periodically.
Dang! Reverse dad joke!
I told my son that I was looking through a car magazine. "I'm thinking about buying you one..." I told him.
He said, "Oh my god! But...I need to pass my test first."
I said, "No, you don't, it's only a magazine."
I fell asleep last night while reading some old magazines.
I woke up with back issues.
What type of magazines do cows read?
What magazines to cows read?
What magazine does the big bad wolf like to read?
What kind of magazines do cows read?
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