It's a rare medium well done.
Dad, here in this magazine it is written that masturbation significantly weakens sight. Is it true? He replies: Read for me. I can’t find my glasses anywhere.
Now I have many issues.
It was a slice of Life.
He said to do it on my own Time.
I guess you could say I've got Daddy issues.
Elle GB tea queue
I'm still working out a few kinks
At the retirement party, his boss says, "You might be getting to the next stage in your life early, but you'll always be Justin, the Nick of Time."
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: I’m sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?
I have back issues.
Sorry sir we are not responsible for lost any articles.
But she had too many issues.
But I do periodically.
Daughter: Yes I do... periodically.
Dang! Reverse dad joke!
I’m too proud of myself to not tell anyone. I honestly think it was like one of those jokes that you come up with after the opportunity has passed, accept this time I thought of it quick enough. I hope this doesn’t appear as self-aggrandizement, I just think it was a good pun.
Let me tell you,she had some issues.
women on the phone asks:
I dont think she got it.
edit: This is actually funnier how he said it in dutch (our native language). his words were "ze heeft ze benen genomen" which literally means " she has taken the legs".
He said, "Oh my god! But...I need to pass my test first."
I said, "No, you don't, it's only a magazine."
#1 magazine for “pop” culture.
But it's just a crying shame none of them are called "Daddy Issues"
... But she had too many issues.
Transcript (Important part in boldface):
Extremely pragmatic and frugal in nature -- "a lot of stuff I see people buying is completely nonessential" -- Paul has a soft spot for absolutely any joke, and the more esoteric, the better. Instead of his proper name on his office template, "The Buck Stops Here" appears. The other day, he stopped me in the hallway and asked "What will the people carrying the coffin at my funeral be called?"
"Paul bearers", he declares, followed by a knee-slapping hearty guffaw.
EDIT: Fixed Imgur link.
They called Time on their careers
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
It's a total rip-off
It has some shocking images.
It's behind the Times!
What can I say, I've got issues.
Because papa was a Rolling Stone.
Husband (on phone): help doctor, my wife is in pain and is screaming really loud!
Doctor: Is this your first child?
Husband: No! This is her husband!
...because Russian doesn't have any articles.
When I handed them to him he said "So you're done reading them?"
No thanks, we're all illiterate.
I work with a dog rescue-- and today we had a phone interview with Modern Dog Magazine.
Our President's father couldn't resist.