I'm going to print a document to help cure bed-wetting.
I love signing documents
I guess you could say it’s my signature move.
My coworker was trying to reorganize his filling cabinet and got stuck when he discovered a bunch of documents about Italian dictators.
I told him to file them as Mussollaneous.
A guy offered to document my life in Microsoft Excel, but I said no.
I don’t want him to spreadsheet about me.
According to official NASA documents they have Aliens on the ISS.
They also have Alien, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection - all on DVD.
What are two documents that don't make sense?
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
How does a lumberjack sign his documents?
What do you call someone who burns all their loan documents?
I got sick whilst scanning documents to .pdf ....
The doctor said it's because I'm an anti-faxxer.
What’s the saying for when your protein powder gets spilled on your legal documents which divide all of your property after death?
Where there’s a will, there’s a whey.
Why can't you email a document to a Jedi?
Because attachments are forbidden.
Yo, homie. You know of any good computer programs for typing up documents?
I have 2 part-time jobs. For one, I put sodas into aluminum containers. For the other, I document a person's desires regarding what happens to their property after death
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
Why should you never trust an Excel document?
Because they spread sheet
My girlfriend asked me how to convert a document to PDF...
But I’ve never heard of that religion before.
What do you call a document filled with child predators?
Where does a farmer document the milk production of his cows?
I asked the surfer dude if he had a document laying out the things to do in his beautiful city. He said:
I would consider myself a pretty rad dad, so here you go: "Why wasn't the document allowed at the children's party?"
"Why wasn't the document allowed at the children's party?"
Because he was a PDF File!
I need a special pair of spectacles to read legal documents...
True story: I wanted to print a dozen copies of a document, but selected 'Number of Copies: 12' on both MS Word and the printer itself, just to be sure. Turns out, it treated that as 12 times 12 copies.
I soon discovered that I had made a gross error of judgment.
I melted in the 103 degree Dallas heat just to document this pun - I hope it was worth it.....
imgur.com/lRgYEuB
Have you heard about the homicidal maniac who papercuts people to death with terms and conditions documents?
I have a friend who works turning Arabic documents into English
Everytime I try to talk to him he's lost in translation.
Why does the cat spew out documents?
Because he thinks he’s a prr-inter.
What does the pope use to hold documents together?
Bill and his friend Dave both needed to get some legal documents notarized
Bill and his friend Dave both needed to get some legal documents notarized, so they went to the notary together. Bill asked the notary if he could go first because Dave had quite a few items and Bill had one. The notary said, “Sorry. You sign affidavit.”
Today, I challenged my colleague to a document typing contest.
Now it is his Word against mine.
I took some personal documents I had to the gym today
So they could get shredded
Why can't Dalai Lama receive any documents by email?
Because you can't send Dalai Lama an email with attachments
My boss asked me to skim through a document
So today at work, my boss asked us to skim through a document regarding a new/old procedure. When she finished I ask if I could almond milk it since I don't drink dairy.
They actually laughed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or embarrassed for them that they thought it was actually funny.
Maybe a bit of a and b.
Dad joked by a word document
So I'm working a summer desk job where one of my duties is to print and cut out stencils to use in labeling materials. I open up the stencils file so I can use an existing document and make sure I get the formatting right.
I was going to pick the first one when one near the bottom stood out. The document was named "Walrus". None of what the business does deals with aquatic life. All the other things are named after what they are, such as "Sheets" "Towels" etc. So, for curiosity's sake, I had to open the document--
And the stencil said "5-Foot Seal". I groaned at my desk.
Why do Buddhist monks never send you Word documents through email?
Because they're not supposed to have any attachments!
A guy offered to document my life in Microsoft Excel, but I said no.
I don’t want him to spreadsheet about me.
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