I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....

I'm no longer covered.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Doctor told me my insurance doesn't cover Viagra, but he can prescribe me the generic.....

Mycoxafloppin

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
An American wants to enter a nightclub

Together with some friends from abroad, an Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leemhuis
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My local Waffle House has a new insurance plan.

They're now covered and smothered.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdas1996
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do hospital gowns and insurance have in common?

You think you're covered, but, you're not.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do medical insurance companies call an elective procedure?

A splurgery.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nathan_w
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance

When I fled the scene of the accident.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
This one’s on a whole new level
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buildingwithclay
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Santa have to provide health insurance for his workers?

They’re technically Elf employed

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrymmTravel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night.

And through it all, he offered me protection...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of health insurance do Halloween creatures have?

Medi-SCARE!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SideEyeandSigh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone in my peer group was using State Farm for insurance...

So I decided to go with the Flo.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I am trying to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the companies keep denying my application.

They told me, β€œIf your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My son turned 27, so he's no longer covered by my health insurance.

In other words, his manufacturer's warranty is up.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MookieV
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw an insurance commercial with a gay couple in it.

Guess it was Progressive.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of insurance do candles companies get?

Waxident insurance...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyTrain
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of car insurance does a rat have?

Road Dent Insurance .

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gawd_of_oh_Lawd
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting good dental insurance...

...is like pulling teeth.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Elon Musk’s car insurance must be astronomical!
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JingleCake
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call Batman insurance policies?

Dark Knight Returns

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
There was an old lady who swallowed a horse

Her condition is stable.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterburk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I broke my leg and had to go on Short Term Disability

It really confused me when HR told me it was a STD.

(This actually happened to me. HR emailed my insurance company telling them that I have a STD injury. Now I use the joke all of the time)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My health insurance company refused to pay my bill because I believe in reincarnation.

They said I have a pre existing condition.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
New glasses are $144 after insurance.

That’s gross!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwilightSolomon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I guess I have a bad driving record because only 1 insurance company would take me as a customer.

I had to go with the Flo.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad sells life insurance

And on his calendars he mails to his clients he put. β€œ[His Name], your agent for life”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaughingHyena12
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the best car insurance a snake can get?

Fully cobrahensive. 🐍

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonTheStarfish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of insurance does an i.t. guy have to sign up for?

Malware practice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/refward
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that lady in the Progressive Insurance ads has been dating a rapper?

It's Flo Rida

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wuellig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the orange refuse to get car insurance?

Because he already had... anti-accidents.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roastytoastywarm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: that was the insurance company

Dad: what’d they say? Me: they’ll pay me for the tow Dad: why do they want your big toe?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAbsentMinded1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
When you're driving but can't see that well...

Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.

https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv

Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guriboysf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My nephew told me that he's never had vision insurance.

I told him he really should look into it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xerafoo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
On an article about a woman who sawed her hand off to claim insurance
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmaxic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Hoping to collect on insurance, I bought a bumper sticker for my old car saying, "Please Steal Me." Unfortunately it didn't work.

They stole the sticker and left the car.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I have to write a paper about insurance, and I need to use in-text citations.

So I think I’ll get a quote.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Bomb_Firocious
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Kill Bill
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shu-chi-senpai
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Where are our desssssks
πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HemperorSean
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A girl on Tinder told me she wanted to be friends with benefits.

But I don't have health insurance or a retirement plan so I told her I couldn't.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If I got an ingrown toenail but my insurance didn't cover it...

Would I have to foot the bill?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Earthquakes are rare in my area...

so I have no fault insurance.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jhuderis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My local farmer's insurance had this outside their window.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbro00
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I was trying to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but I was refused.

The company said, β€œIf your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to get tornado insurance for my camp site, but the bank refused.

They said, β€œIf your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, β€œIf your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I was sat next to an insurance salesman at a Robbie Williams last night.

And through it all, he offered me protection!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmak13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to buy tornado insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, β€œIf your tents get blown over, you won’t be covered.”

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I'm camping

I wouldn't be covered.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report

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