I just realized that my calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, it still works.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 689
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2021
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I was really scared when I started as a pilot. I looked down nervously and said: "What are all these buttons for?"

The co-pilot said: "They keep your shirt closed."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2021
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What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OmnisVirLupis23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2021
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What you call a boat in your belly button?

A Naval Ship

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArtOfPuns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2021
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What do you call a battleship control room that covers a belly button?

Naval Bridge.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emailthezac
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2021
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What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have?

An Audi

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2021
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I learned a lot about belly buttons in college...

I went to the Navel Academy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stone_meister
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2021
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Why was the button permamently depressed?

Somebody pushed him too far.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gartlas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2021
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I can't help it, I like Google's "I'm feeling lucky" button

It's basically love at first site.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andrethedev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.

She craves anarchy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2021
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Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.

Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hungrysamy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2020
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I don't know why I'm so afraid of pressing buttons.

I just can't put my finger on it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iamagardner
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, β€œWhat are all these buttons for?”

β€œThey are to keep your shirt done up” he replied.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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My favorite Hollywood movie has to be β€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.

It never gets old.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You are underAvest!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spacemanwho
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2020
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I have a tv here I’m selling, going cheap as the volume buttons don’t work

You can’t turn that down

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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I'll bet the guy who invented the snooze button...

.....never invented anything else.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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Why did the button fall of the cliff?

It was pushed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redpandsrampage
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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He wouldn’t be let down if he didn’t push their buttons...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 286
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2020
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What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?

Adoorbell.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/inoobie_am
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2020
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What military branch is an expert on belly buttons?

The Naval Corps.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/themoistimportance
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.

Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr__Weasels
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2020
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I’m selling a 55” TV for JUST $1, only problem is the volume button is broken...

... I mean, how can you turn that one down!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/forest-of-ewood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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Why can't you get the buttons wet in a submersible?

Because they're submarine grade.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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The chemistry teacher is always pushing my buttons in class!

I think she’s just looking for a reaction.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28 2020
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Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread

D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Raoul24601
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2020
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Had a bargain on eBay today, brought a 65inch HD TV for Β£5, the only issue is the volume button doesnt work.

I thought, I cant turn that down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2020
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What’s a cats favourite button on the tv remote?

Paws

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beardynolando
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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What’s green and turns red when you push a button?

A frog in a blender.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2020
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Just wondering, if you push the buttons on a calculator really fast ...

... does it become a calcu-earlier?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2020
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ugh, the button "C" of my keyboard just broke

Now this is a c-rious problem

(it happened for real, help)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aldo-Tron
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2019
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What kind of school do belly buttons go to?

Navel academies.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lg_3000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2019
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I was in an elevator with my wife when a couple entered with their kids. I went out of my way to ask what floor they were going up to so I could push the button for them.

I wanted to prove to my wife that I was serious about raising a family.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 109
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
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Someone in my apartment building rearranged all the buttons on the elevator.

That was wrong on so many levels.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2019
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I bought a button with "sad" written on it...

Whenever I push it, it gets depressed!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2020
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What kind of belly button does a car have?

an Audi

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jvartandillustration
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
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The first day of flying class, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, β€œWow! What are all these buttons for?”

He said, β€œThey are used to keep your shirt closed.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer tell his belly button?

YOU'RE UNDER A VEST!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShiverMeeTimberz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UhHowAboutN0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2020
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My calculator is missing the minus button....

But on the plus side it still works.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 233
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gbuckingham89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
my first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?

copilot: they keep your shirt closed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigbrady99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.

She craves anarchy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coot32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the police man say to this belly button?

"You're under a vest!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NedDeadStark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A great movie to watch when you are under lockdown is β€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”

Never gets old.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gr0gn4kTh3B4rb4r14n
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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