My favorite Hollywood movie has to be β€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.

It never gets old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The first day of flying class, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, β€œWow! What are all these buttons for?”

He said, β€œThey are used to keep your shirt closed.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of belly button does a car have?

an Audi

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I'll bet the guy who invented the snooze button...

.....never invented anything else.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungrysamy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer tell his belly button?

YOU'RE UNDER A VEST!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiverMeeTimberz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the button fall of the cliff?

It was pushed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redpandsrampage
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a tv here I’m selling, going cheap as the volume buttons don’t work

You can’t turn that down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You are underAvest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacemanwho
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What military branch is an expert on belly buttons?

The Naval Corps.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Why can't you get the buttons wet in a submersible?

Because they're submarine grade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuggeybug
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.

Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr__Weasels
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cute button, which on pressing norifies the house owner to open the door?

Adoorbell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inoobie_am
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m selling a 55” TV for JUST $1, only problem is the volume button is broken...

... I mean, how can you turn that one down!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forest-of-ewood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread

D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raoul24601
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a bargain on eBay today, brought a 65inch HD TV for Β£5, the only issue is the volume button doesnt work.

I thought, I cant turn that down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
First day as a pilot, I asked my co-pilot; β€œwhat are those buttons for?”

β€œTo keep your shirt closed.β€œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/halfblood_god
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UhHowAboutN0
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The chemistry teacher is always pushing my buttons in class!

I think she’s just looking for a reaction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
He wouldn’t be let down if he didn’t push their buttons...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a cats favourite button on the tv remote?

Paws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardynolando
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My calculator is missing the minus button....

But on the plus side it still works.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbuckingham89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
[Help] I am asking this girl to prom and putting the message on a button... she really likes puns but I can’t come up with any can I have some help?

She really likes debate, she runs a debate club. She likes chocolate cake. Her favourite animal is a tortoise. She is really good at playing instruments and she plays the bassoon. Anything will help, thank you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOMBZABOMB
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s green and turns red when you push a button?

A frog in a blender.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
my first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?

copilot: they keep your shirt closed

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigbrady99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Just wondering, if you push the buttons on a calculator really fast ...

... does it become a calcu-earlier?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police man say to this belly button?

"You're under a vest!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NedDeadStark
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A great movie to watch when you are under lockdown is β€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”

Never gets old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.

She craves anarchy.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
ugh, the button "C" of my keyboard just broke

Now this is a c-rious problem

(it happened for real, help)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aldo-Tron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a dogs favorite button on a TV remote?

Paws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Am_An_Engineer_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of school do belly buttons go to?

Navel academies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lg_3000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a button with "sad" written on it...

Whenever I push it, it gets depressed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone in my apartment building rearranged all the buttons on the elevator.

That was wrong on so many levels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If my car had a belly button

do you think it would have an innie or an Audi?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/measurebeyondwit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in an elevator with my wife when a couple entered with their kids. I went out of my way to ask what floor they were going up to so I could push the button for them.

I wanted to prove to my wife that I was serious about raising a family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My favourite movie of the recent past has to be β€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button.”

Never gets old.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
blessed_buttons
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItzYaBoi25
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Im sad because someone broken the elevator by rearranging all the buttons in a random way

Is just wrong on so many levels

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tarka_d0_sera
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What'd the cop say to his belly button?

You're under a vest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisIsAron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Almost every button has dealt with depression at some point in their lives.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CdotBigz
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I have an old calculator that’s missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, it still works.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you replace a missing button on a dress shirt?

Lay out the shirt on a table, thread a needle, put a spare button in the place where the old one was, and so on...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daveberzack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My calculator is missing the minus button.

But on the plus side, ...it still works.

πŸ‘︎ 372
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report

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