The local pub stepped up there pun game
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︎ Jul 16 2018
I see what you did there ( Ν‘β ΝΚ Ν‘β)
π︎ 615
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︎ Dec 29 2020
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
There's a term for people like Trump
π︎ 5k
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︎ Nov 09 2020
There's an Amazon Forest but no Microsoft Forest - why is that?
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︎ Dec 24 2020
See what I did there?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
If thereβs a line of gay people, itβs not a straight line...
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.
Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Playing βtagβ in the Addams Family must be very confusing if your cousinβs there...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
How many seconds are there in a year.
12 second
Edit1: Since so many of you guys are confused, it's like January second, February second and so on.
Edit2: No 22nd doesn't count.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
... In an ocean of knowledge. Sea what I did there?
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π
︎ Jan 17 2021
How can there be a national coin shortage?
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︎ Dec 07 2020
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Sadly, only a fraction of people will get this joke
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Ah, I see what you did there
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
There a hair in my soup
Waiter: hi what can i get you?
Dad: ill have the rabbit stew
Waiter: only if you promise not to say"theres a hare in my soup"
Dad: ill have the chicken then
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︎ Jan 03 2021
There's way more cool stuff
π︎ 4k
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︎ Nov 03 2020
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Pack it in there.
π︎ 100
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
π︎ 27k
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
There is a HUGE snowstorm today in Washington, DC
There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
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π
︎ Oct 09 2020
They say there are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
I think that's Booleshit.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
If there's one thing I own that's remarkable
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︎ Jan 05 2021
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....
π︎ 607
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
There's a caterpillar near the flower
π︎ 23
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Me: Someone told me that thereβs a fruit thatβs an excellent source of potassium.
Her: Thatβs bananas.
Me: Yeah, I was shocked too.
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π
︎ Dec 23 2020
There are 3 types of people in this world
Those who can count and those who can't
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
A guy walks into a bar and is surprised to see his family doctor there
A guy walks into a bar and is surprised to see his family doctor there, so he walks over to join him. "What a coincidence!" the guy says. "I was just saying earlier today that I really needed a doctor's appointment." The doctor pulls up his calendar on his phone and says, "Well, how about 10 tomorrow?" "No," the guy replies. "I don't need that many."
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︎ Jan 16 2021
My wife and I were woken up at 3am by loud banging on our door. I got up, opened the door and there was a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. "Are you insane man?!!? It's 3 in the morning!!" I screamed, slamming the door and stormed back to bed...
"Who was that?" asked my wife.
"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.
"Did you help him?" she asked.
"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"
"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"
She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes."
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes please."
"Where are you?"
"Over here...on the swing."
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Where thereβs a will
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
There was an explosion at the cheese factory...
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 13 2021
When the doctor told me that there was a cure for dyslexia,
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
are there any Sheep Puns that could be used to name a Sheep?
Names such as:
Baa-bara
Wool Smith
EWE-NICE
Brittney Shears
John Sebastian Baach
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π
︎ Jan 02 2021
Why are there no unemployed farmers?
They can get a job in any field.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
Good thing there are just the two doors to the US Capitol building
Cause attempted sedan doesnβt have the same ring to it
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π
︎ Jan 07 2021
There's a dinner lady at our factory, who's almost seven feet tall.
She's our longest serving employee.
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π
︎ Jan 02 2021
thereβs an impasta among us
π︎ 36
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Thereβs another bacterial salad outbreak...
Yet lettuce romaine calm π€¦π»ββοΈ
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
There are no losers when eating hot dogs. Only wieners.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Called my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, could you please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?" She answered, "Yeah..."
"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"
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︎ Dec 31 2020
There was a man who read a joke so funny that he died of laughter.
After reading it, the authorities all agreed that it was a killer joke.
π︎ 50
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︎ Dec 06 2020
There is only one you in the whole world...
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Why isn't there an Apple iPhone Fold?
Because Apple don't want iPhone to be afoldable.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
THERE ISN'T A SINGLE PERSON ALIVE TODAY WHO IS
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Is there space for a pun here?
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︎ Nov 15 2020
There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I canβt find it on here..
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Got me there
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︎ Oct 21 2020
There's one job I could see myself doing
π︎ 50
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Just heard there is a geezer down the market selling Oxford vaccination for Β£2 each
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π
︎ Jan 18 2021
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