The doctor said it's because I'm an anti-faxxer.
Me: It says here white rhinos are now on the endangered species list. Dad: Pretty sure that's by invitation only.
He then laughed for five minutes. Half an hour later, leaving from dinner...he remembered what he said. And laughed again.
While Photoshopping a scan of a dragon he drew in pencil, I stated I was going to convert it to grayscale. His response?
"Can we convert it to red scales, instead?"
Daughter calls out: "Dad, why are you in the dark?"
Me: "BECAUSE NOBODY WILL TELL ME THE TRUTH!"
groaning was heard...
So I work with Honeywell scanners in my business. My boss bought 20 or so scanners and told me to test them out, then give them a name. Running outta good ones and need some help. Time to shine Reddit. Looking for punny scanner names and references
The look on his face was priceless.
" You know my method. It's founded upon the observation of Trifles. "
After taking our order and asking if we want anything else, I point at my phone and ask if she can leave us a menu just in case.
I think I wrote my first dad joke original on something new to this changing world!
So that when they come back to the port they can "scan-di-navian"
It Scandinavian
And while I was working a nice old lady came to my til. I scanned through all her items and it came to £56.83, but after counting up all her change she had just shy of £40.
So I offered to help her, to which she refused but I eagerly insisted. I thought this is probably someone’s Nan, and I’d like to think someone would help my Nan in the same situation.
So after no time at all, we had all her shopping back on the shelves!
My dad worked in construction for most of his life, and because he worked with his hands, he sacrificed many watches. But if you don't have a watch, how are you to tell time? My dad has a great sense of humor and is always thinking of new ways to do things to make them more practical or thinking of ways to change things to make them work better for him. So after spending way too much money on a heavy duty watch that inevitably broke on him, he came up with a better solution.
He used the working part of a clock and stuck it on the inside rim of his hat, so if he wanted to know what the time was, he just had to look up. Simple. And the way his hat was, you couldn't see the clock when looking at him unless you were underneath him and looking up.
And then came the funny part. Every time he was asked what time it was, he would look up at the sun, scan the horizon, pretend to do a math equation in his head, and tell them the exact time down to the minute. I've witnessed him doing this a few times but never gave it away. The look of surprise and confusion this gave people was priceless.
My dad had done other funny things like this, but this was by far the funniest.
He said "Well the results were interesting. They found kittens, puppies, little bunnies, and goldfish."
(true story)
Sir Anwrap
They didn't find anything.
It was a real Saab story.
When they dock, they can scan-di-navian...
I put it on the conveyor, and when the cashier picked it up to scan it, I said, “be careful! That means the world to me!”
I interrupted and asked if he remembered what type of cat.
[Yes, I used a dad joke on my dad. He taught me well.]
They’re immediately taken back to a room.
Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.
“This must be a mistake,” the man says. “I’ve been here only 20 minutes!”
“No mistake,” the doctor says. “It’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”
...so they can scan da navy in.
(Not mine; saw it on Facebook)
Still made it to my door.
The Lab test came back positive.
Dad: ''I'm doing a cat scan right now. Points to cats as he scans kitchen 1, 2.''
This was about ten years ago. It's still a classic!
So when they come back to port they can...
Scandinavian
The look on his face was priceless.
The look on his face was priceless.
The look on his face was priceless.
The look on his face was priceless.
But cat scan.
