My sister, the biologist, was studying cell division when she dropped her microscope on my toe.

Mitosis!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkrjoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I had a joke about microscopes

But it’s out of focus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HollacaustFiesta
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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If a telescope crashed into a microscope

would it be a kaleidoscope?

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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What do you call taking a picture of your own cells under a microscope?

a Cell-fie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waterburst789
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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My Biology lab presented a slide show about using a microscope.

It was called "how to focus" but I wasn't paying attention to the rest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HAJpodge13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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If you haven’t ever done so, try looking at a penny through a microscope.

It is magnifi-cent.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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The local school board just purchased a powerful new microscope for the high school biology lab...

It's completely changed the way students look at life!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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What did the scientist say when he was told there was something under his microscope?

I’ll look into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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Scientists have developed a microscopic needle that is too small to be seen by the naked eye...

I just don't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrannyLow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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What’s a microscopic dead end street?

Molecule-de-sac

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheesecakeMMXX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I started a new business farming microscopic fish

It's a small scale operation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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My friend bought a microscopically precise pencil sharpener.

I don’t see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PulkPush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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There was once a scientist doing research on some microscopic organisms. To his surprise he found out that a particular species was completely homosexual.

They're algae.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkDeathDragon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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I made a microscopic form of communication

I call it a cell phone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pandas69lol
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
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Who was the first microscopic organism to circumnavigate the earth?

Ferdinand Flagellum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainRogers1226
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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A scientist created a miniature bomb

When it was done, he didnt know how to activate it, so he put it under a microscope

Blew up in his face

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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A researcher working in a biology lab is brought two insects to dissect...

A cricket, and a tick.

He decides to start with the larger one, the cricket, and proceeds to put it under a microscope and carefully rip the dead insect apart writing down the results. Nothing unusual.

Moving on, he goes back to the delivery petri dish and notices the tick is missing.

He searches around for some time but the bugger is nowhere to be seen. Just before giving up he notices it crawling on his hand. Before the tick can bite him, he expertly grabs it and throws it under the microscope.

He turns it to the highest magnification and says to himself: "Let's see what makes you tick."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoffKalast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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How do scientists measure things crashing into each other?

A kaleidoscope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kasegauner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
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Got a few people with this Ant joke

Talking the other day about Ants for some reason and I remembered one to drop into the conversation.

Q: You know how they tell whether an ant is male or female?

a few saying 'no, how?' others saying they are both male and female at same time, need a microscope etc.

A: Actually it's easier than that, the scientists drop them into water, and if it sinks then it is a Girl Ant, but if it floats then it is a Boy Ant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/syuk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2015
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A student got me today

Three students had four microscopes set up to look at specimens for biology lab today. They moved from one microscope to the next as a group. I asked why they were doing this instead of one person per microscope. One of them replied "we are just scoping things out."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teamsloth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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My friend and I started a business where we weigh microscopic objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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I just started a business for measuring microscopic objects.

It is a small scale operation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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