I interrupted and asked if he remembered what type of cat.
[Yes, I used a dad joke on my dad. He taught me well.]
Dad: ''I'm doing a cat scan right now. Points to cats as he scans kitchen 1, 2.''
This was about ten years ago. It's still a classic!
Talking about our dog, Baxter, who is deaf, a little clumsy, and a big goofball
Her: You know, maybe he does have some neurological issues.
Me: Maybe. But we wouldn’t know for sure unless we get a CAT-scan, and we’re too poor for that.
Her: Well, in this case it would be a DOG-scan, right?
The Lab test came back positive.
They’re immediately taken back to a room.
Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.
“This must be a mistake,” the man says. “I’ve been here only 20 minutes!”
“No mistake,” the doctor says. “It’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”
He was not feline well
My girlfriend's friend was going to get an MRI scan and was nervous. I decided to lighten the mood.
Me: Did you know that dogs can't get MRI's?
GF and friends: Really?
Me: No, but cat's can.
They told me leave.
So basically I own a Bookshop and I'm wanting to have a Book joke board, so please send me your jokes that I can write on it (credit will be given, needs to be family friendly)
But CAT scan.
Well yeah! That's where all the big CAT scans are done
Her: Do you prefer cats or dogs?
Me, scanning the menu: What page are you on?
They said they needed a CAT scan
CAT scan came back negative.
Dog confirmed not a cat.
2 year old wanted to pretend my wife was a doctor and he and I were her patients. Aside from my waggling my eyebrows and telling her I'd play doctor with her later, while we were laying on the ground, our cat came up and started sniffing me.
I told my wife that I didn't consent to the CAT scan.
Now she needs a doctor after her eyes rolled out of her head.
and I asked the veterinarian, "do you offer CAT scans?"
Uncle: "So I just got back from my CAT scan"
Cousin: "Yeah? How'd it go?"
Uncle: "They couldn't find any cats."
Cousin: "Ugh.."
The doctor says, "Okay, well have a seat." He then walks out of the room for a moment and comes back with a Labrador Retriever. The dog sniffs him a bit, then the doctor walks him back out of the room with his tail wagging. A couple minutes pass, and the doctor comes back with a cat. He rubs the cat all over the man until it meows, then takes it back out of the room. The doctor then returns and says, "Well, you seem fine to me. That'll be $1000." The man, flabbergasted, yells, "$1000?! There wasn't even anything wrong with me!" The doctor replies, "Well it rounds out to that between the lab work and the cat scan..."
Last night at around midnight, I took my friend/roommate/exboyfriend to the ER when he came literally crawling to my room incoherent and sweating and shaking because of head pain.
When we got there I called his parents to let them know what was going on. They rushed over and met us in his room where the doctor was giving him some neurological tests. The ER doc decided it was most likely a migraine or cluster headache and gave my friend pain medicine and an IV, but wanted to do a CAT scan just to rule out any bleeding.
So they took him off to get the scan, and his parents and I sat around talking. His dad was practically falling asleep in his chair as I had woken them up with my call, but he still managed to drop this one when they wheeled my friend back into the room:
He gave the nurse pushing my friend's cart a worried look. "Don't sugar coat it, did you find any cats in there?"
As he's telling my grandmother about done tests he'll have to have done on his knee he mentioned a PET scan. My grandmother asked what it was and I jumped in just in time to say,
"It's like a CAT scan, but more domesticated."
My grandfather was proud.
My kitten loves to jump onto our printer and just sit there...... He sees this and immediately says..... "oh look.... cat scan"
My mother-in-law was in the hospital for a week with spinal meningitis (she's fine now, fully recovered). During this hospitalization, the family cat went missing. While my wife and her father were at the hospital taking care of her mum and helping her get tons of tests done every day, one of my evening responsibilities was to go looking for the dang cat.
One evening towards the end of the week, I was updating them on the cat hunt situation, to which her father replied, "I just don't understand it. We've just been through about 6 CAT scans this week and we still can't find the bloody cat!"
...Groans ensued...
I was visiting my grandpa in the hospital and he got a CT Scan and lab work done.
He said: " They ran me over with a Siamese cat and a labrador retriever. "
But cat scan.
But cat scan.
