Did you know that two times ten and two times eleven are actually the same?
two times ten is twenty and two times eleven is twenty too
A pun walked into a bar and ten people died on the spot.
What did the man say when he was asked out by ten women in one day?
The twelve days of Jokemas, day ten
What is a snowman's favorite cereal?
Frosted Flakes
A pun enters the room, ten people get killed.
The headline?
PUN IN: TEN DIED
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
What is the favourite sport of the ten legged spider?
Told to me by my father this morning. Did you hear about the pun that murdered ten people and then died in the standoff?
The headline was “pun and ten dead” (meant to sound like pun intended.)
Definitely not the best but it was kinda funny. He was definitely pleased with it
I was playing the song "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" by the Allman Brothers for my ten year old daughter. She asked me how long ago I first heard the song. When I told her I heard it when it was first released, 50 years ago, She said,
"Was it called "In Honor of Elizabeth Reed" back then?
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.
To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard
A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot.
Pun in, ten dead
Edit: The police quickly arrived at the scene, surrounding the bar. The pun was trapped in the bar but it decided to hold on and have a shoot out with the police instead of surrendering. Sadly, the pun was shot. He was pun out dead at the scene.
Edit: Nobody attended the puns funeral, they all at ten ded.
-Mic drop-
Edit: Wasn’t that a killer pun?
Edit: Unfortunately I told about 10 puns before this one. Did any of them land? No. No pun in ten did.
(Credit To killsforsporks and TLo137 for the last 2 edits)
There’s a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, “Are you a pole vaulter?”
The man says, “Actually, I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”
Ten years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.
Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.
There’s a room with two tables and ten people. One table has soup, and the other table has a punch bowl. All ten people are lined up at the soup table.
Now’s when you ask: where’s the punchline?
Ten cows are standing in a field. Which is the closest to Iraq?
“I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says to this guy. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?” “Ten…” the doctor says slowly.
“Nine... eight… seven...”
Did you hear about the dog that ran ten miles to retrieve a stick?
That sounds a little far fetched
When my father left to buy cigarettes ten years ago, he forgot to put on his size 14 boots, and I'm keeping them because of the sentimental value.
That's why I'm still carrying around these huge daddy-shoes.
The top ten reasons to procrastinate
The ten largest baseball stadiums hold between 46,000 - 56,000 people.
Just some ballpark figures for you.
(My own joke!)
Just read an article about the top ten exposed electrical circuits.
One through ten will shock you!
I read on The News Yesterday that Dyslexia Affects Ten out of Two People!
If one was bad and ten was good how would you rate the Harry Potter franchise?
I would rate it 9 and 3 quarters.
My ten year old fist bumps me and does the 'exploding hand' afterwards ...
After he explodes his hand I look down at my still clenched fist. I slowly raise it near my ear confused and shake it. I then explode it in my face almost knocking me off me feet. I look at him sternly and say, "You could have killed me."
10 puns were standing in a line to see which one was the best, but none of them won. No pun in ten did.
I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all.
Turns out I have selfie-steam issues
A pun walks into a bar and kills ten people. A news reporter comes to the scene and summarizes it in four words.
Five hundred people were exposed to ten different puns, to see if any of them made the subject laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
My boy bounded down the stairs this morning, screaming, "I'm finally ten! I'm finally ten!"
He jumped in my awaiting arms and giddily gazed up at me.
I lovingly looked in to his eyes and said, "Hi finally ten! I'm dad!"
Top ten reasons you shouldn't use your computer in the tub
I tried to see if reading the top ten dad jokes on Reddit this morning would make my coworkers laugh...
I have been getting my son a new watch for Christmas every year for the last ten years
He sat me down the other day and asked why a watch?
“I guess it’s just been something to pass the time”
How did the Jewish people learn the Ten Commandments?
My ten-year-old son: Dad, did you hear about the barn party after midnight that was getting out of hand?...
... Finally the sheep yells, stop horsing around, I’m trying to sheep. - Love this kid.
My daughter came home from school and asked me, dad, what are the ten commandments?
I said, salt vinegar pepper mustard....
Ten solid minutes of dad jokes courtesy of the great Tim Vine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00dFzPbzOws
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if this sub's top ten jokes met this standard.
Did you hear the one about the dog that ran ten miles to retrieve a stick?
Sounded a little far-fetched to me
Did you hear about the guy who sent ten puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did
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