Why do detectives tend to scrutinize individuals with bluish eyes in cases of poisoning?

Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you call a detective electrician?

Sherlock Ohms.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the poor detective say when he fell into the endless pit?

β€œI’m never going to get to the bottom of this.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nwmimms
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a friend who is an electrician and a part-time detective

We call him Sherlock Ohms.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guineaa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?

He found his locomotive.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said, "You act like a detective too much, I want to split up."

"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crocodile that is a detective?

An investi-gator

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Faiz_Clan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A detective arrives

11.45 : arrived at crime scene

11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle

11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain

11.45 : Realised watch was broken

.

.

.

.

.

My son: but this is not a dad joke.

Me : what is a day joke then?

My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't realize my phone came with noface detection
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Llamalords101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a family of chicken detectives...

They were called β€œthe clue clucks clan”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
As a covid detection measure, the eyeglass place took my temperature before I could see the eye doctor.

Does anyone know how I can get it back?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 200
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have found a way to detect HIV using sound

They call the device hearing aids

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the detective fail to solve the mystery?

He hasn’t got a clue.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NormallyWierd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Detective Holmes: "Watson, what's taking so long in there?"

Watson (constipated): "No shit, Sherlock."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misterrandom1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of racist Irish detectives?

The Mac cleu cleus clan

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/squatingonmars
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you feel when your phone can't detect your bluetooth device ?

Des***pair***

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/subareid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.

It was a briefcase

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wingwang100
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are distillery workers such good detectives?

They are always looking for more proof!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a detective named Frederick Lee...

His teammate is an anthropomorphic pig who wore a hood like little red riding hood. The pig’s name was Boar-Hood. So this one time, I wanted them to check out a masked menace in New York City. Fred wanted to lead the investigation. But since the criminal’s mask was animal themed, I said to them, β€œFred Lee: nay. Boar-hood: spy the man”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megadecimal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a mason and a detective?

Concrete evidence.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Agent256
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.

"This concludes my probaballistic report."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/earthlybird
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Multiple thefts of porch steps from different addresses in downtown Detroit.

Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Team_Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a corrupt detective called?

A defective!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blind-folded
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What will Quentin Tarantino be called if he gets detected with COVID-19?

Quarantino.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lievergent
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The detective bent over to study a clue just as an unknown projectile whizzed by

He sensed something amiss

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/s7evenofspades
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
2 Detectives are covering a case with a farmer

Detective 1: explain what happened please

Farmer: someone has been stealing my radishes for the past 2 months!

Detective 1: what do you think detective 2?

Detective 2: idk Beets me...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).

The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.

πŸ‘︎ 391
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.

>!They had coroner-virus.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A store clerk fought off an armed robber with a labeling gun

Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.

πŸ‘︎ 619
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fireseeker4him
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears a sleeveless shirt that just can't let something go?

An InVESTed Gator

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A comic series my friend is making about a mustachioed private detective, Jim Velvet and his bumbling partner Humphrey
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rezikmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Detective at work

https://preview.redd.it/1v785xijzcg41.jpg?width=272&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=657f7c0b5d34023420c9b6a75ea11855b5990961

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm color blind and the other day I thought I could actually detect purple...

...but it was just a pigment of my imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 203
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I say my secret superpower is detecting Indian flatbread in any given room.

My friends all say it's naan-sense.

πŸ‘︎ 164
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woodybuzzes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are detectives fascinated by female trees?

Because they’re all mysteries.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What is an app which will detect roaches creeping on you?

Mobile developers - APProach

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/armourshield
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the tomato blushing?

He saw the salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Officer: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar of antlers

Detective: Dear god

Officer: Yes most likely

πŸ‘︎ 495
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Connor0388
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a detective electrician?

Sherlock Ohms

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSwedishNarwhal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a constipated detective

No shit Sherlock

πŸ‘︎ 297
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epicgamer927
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 878
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a constipated detective?

No shit Sherlock

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peterd3d
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears sleeveless shirts and just can't let something go?

An InVestedGator

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/naimz27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.