They call the device hearing aids
Des***pair***
...but it was just a pigment of my imagination.
Mobile developers - APProach
I said “That’s naan-sense!”
An InkRedible machine
My customer says he is very happy with the CO-OPERATION
It runs on a watch battery.
A fire distinguisher.
No shit Sherlock?
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
It was a brief case.
Go undercover.
I told him kindergarten
He left a trail of deduction in his wake
After spending a few days at a detective convention, they come home to find their house burned to the ground. "What do you think caused this?" One asked the other. The other just sighed and replied "It was most likely ourson (arson)."
Alrighty Almighty
Turns out it was just a bread herring.
Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
An investi-gator
Sherlock Ohms
They’re really sus-fish-ous
We call him Sherlock Ohms.
He found his locomotive.
“I’m never going to get to the bottom of this.”
They were called “the clue clucks clan”
Does anyone know how I can get it back?
11.45 : arrived at crime scene
11.45 : Examined body. Signs of struggle
11.45 : Found murder weapon in drain
11.45 : Realised watch was broken
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.
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My son: but this is not a dad joke.
Me : what is a day joke then?
My son : when the joke becomes a(p)parent.
He hasn’t got a clue.
Watson (constipated): "No shit, Sherlock."
It was a briefcase
The Mac cleu cleus clan
A Crookodile
They are always looking for more proof!
His teammate is an anthropomorphic pig who wore a hood like little red riding hood. The pig’s name was Boar-Hood. So this one time, I wanted them to check out a masked menace in New York City. Fred wanted to lead the investigation. But since the criminal’s mask was animal themed, I said to them, “Fred Lee: nay. Boar-hood: spy the man”
Concrete evidence.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.
Quarantino.
They always quack the case.
It was a brief case.
It was a brief case.
It was a brief case.
It was a brief case.
No shit Sherlock
No shit Sherlock
