What happens when your mother disappears without a trace?

Mama MIA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustPlayn10
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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Traces of semen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maildejoaquin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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In 1590, all of the pilgrims of Roanoke suddenly disappeared without a trace

It was very un-settling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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My dad told me this: A Spanish magician went up on stage he said to the crowd I am gonna disappear on the count of 3, Uno, Dos then he disappeared without a trace
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KirbyThings
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Trace

A magician was counting from 1 to 3 in Spanish and said "uno dos....." Then disappeared without a tres

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xj-77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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All Chemistry exam questions contain trace amounts of the element of surprise.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ablufia
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day.

He discovered he was a tad Polish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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I Left No Trace imgur.com/wN81kVb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4wheelndude
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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All of my favourite tea is gone without any trace

It is very mystearious...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghaarf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products

which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
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I'm going to disappear without a trace

Uno....dos......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjbritt79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2017
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There was once a race of people with no right hands, arm legs or feet. We have no trace of them today because...

they left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeisthinking
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Edits: Thanks for all the awards!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deant_b01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
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Ray Tracing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrNekoSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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Oops
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/We_r_Ven0m
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Good god
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firefighter353
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
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Did you know the worlds oldet computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve?

The computer was branded by apple, but it had very limited memory. It only had 1 byte and then everything crashed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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If you take up drawing as a mid-life hobby, but you just can't get past tracing...

You may be having an exit-stencil crisis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Have you heard the news about the Art club going missing.

They disappeared without a trace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alike01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
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The first computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple that barely had any memory. One byte, and everything crashed.

It probably ran on Python

Credit: u/FriendofHolySpirit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubic-Zirconia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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There was a Mexican magician who said "I will disappear on the count of 3"! The crowd was silent. He began to count. "Uno... Dos...

and the magician disappeared, with out a trace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
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My wife said she would kill me if I kept singing "I'm a Believer". I called her bluff and kept at it.

Then I saw her face...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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As a private investigator, I'm pursuing a con man by tracing his stream of impoverished victims...

Yes, he left a pauper trail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetusAFeetus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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When is a door not a door?

When it’s ajar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimHP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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Found this joke online xD

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything CRASHED.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueMeteor134
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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You wouldn’t beelieve it

I was raised homeschooled. As a result of this up bringing, I went to many different places to learn things.

One day we went to a farm, and this farm just so happened to have a bee keeper working on it. So I naturally struck up a conversation with the fine man, asking him questions about what he did, and how he liked his job.

Little did I know some time had passed and it was time to go. My mother had called to me from behind my back saying it was time to leave, but I didn’t pay her any attention. Then, in a stern tone, she called to me again from behind that it was time to go.

Then I saw her face, now I’m a bee leaver. Not a trace, of doubt in my mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ben_Holda
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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I didn't believe my wife when she told me she was going to divorce me if I didn't stop quoting the Monkees...

And then I saw her face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grown_Man_Poops
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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My boss made a good dad joke today...

So there I was working on a small project; I make signs and was working on something for a local election candidate. The client wanted small plastic fans with a pic of her on sticks for her upcoming rally. 300 of them. Our plotter wasn't able to trace them out so I'm hand cutting 300 plastic pieces. My boss walks in, and I say "Man this is gonna take all day." and he replies "Well, looks like you got your work cut out for you today." And walks off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jin_Gitaxias
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2016
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Our baby was scooting naked on the bathroom floor, so I said to my wife...

"Honey, do you know what our bathroom and a chocolate bar have in common?"

"Huh?"

"They both may contain traces of nuts!"

I had to laugh at this joke all by myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orthoxerox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with just one byte. And then it crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buildblox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple.

It had extremely limited memory. Just one byte. Then everything crashed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krystx57
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report

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