My wife says I'm a quack head
*My son, a dad of a 3yr old, made this up when I told him a dad joke from this sub. He has achieved full dadness
Edit: typo
I told him, "the baby...is resisting a-rest."
So we were short handed. I looked at my boss and said:
"Next time we're going to be short handed, I'll make sure to bring my longer hands."
It was a really stressful day for everyone. I'd like to think her thoughts of how much of an idiot I am at least helped her blow off some steam.
It's a feetal abnormality.
He was pretty abnormal.
Last night, my girlfriend's grandma was admitted to a nearby hospital for a heart rhythm abnormality. The admitting physician was a great guy, and concluded his admission assessment with a spontaneous, and entirely unrelated, dad joke.
"Did you hear about the two burglars who stole a calendar? They each got six months."
He promptly dropped his stethoscope and left. Boom.
Wow, you're pretty hardcore.
