If Stoners could emit light, would that make them a Highlight?

My First Pun here, please dont make me explain it, it just kills the Joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KAAAAAAAAARL
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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I find I can carry large sacks of dahlia tubers with ease, although the eerie glow they emit is somewhat offputting.

They must be light bulbs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevebox2345
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Accurate.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrissiKross
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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If you burn an analog clock, does it emit second hand smoke?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RuggerAl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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My word for the day was "astute"

I wasn't aware there were other kinds of toots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jehannum_505
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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Dad-joked my own Father while we were driving home.

My Dad and I were watching "Iron Man" on his truck's DVD player while he was driving me home. It cuts to a scene where someone was driving an Audi.

Dad: Ooh, that's a nice car.

Me: Meh, I don't like it.

Dad: You don't like the Audi?

Me: Nope.

Dad: Get out.

Me: You want me to get Audi your car?

Dad: ΰ² _ΰ² 

The groan he emitted was magnificent.

Edit: Individuals seem to be upset about him occasionally watching while he was driving. I apologize if this offends anyone. I talked to him, and he says he will make sure to only watch when he is stopped/parked. I will make sure he does so. Thank you for the concern!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaylorAlexis
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
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This just in: Scientists have turned back time.

They discovered the word "emit."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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If i could turn back time...

I’d be left with β€œemit”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Limelight_019283
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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At a family dinner for Thanksgiving (Canada), everyone is firing off their best potato puns.

I pipe up with "Please, you guys, stop. If you keep this up, I'm going to die of Tuber-culosis."

The entire table emitted a collective groan at me, and one of my cousins just shook his head at me. No one made a potato pun again that night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Commander
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2016
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