A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.

He was charged with attempted murder.

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👤︎ u/Brainsonastick
📅︎ Dec 25 2020
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I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.

They were caws for concern.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/eruditeredditor
📅︎ Dec 17 2020
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Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?

It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/Caddiss_jc
📅︎ Nov 10 2020
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Where do crows go to get educated?

CAWlege

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👤︎ u/Beastocity1089
📅︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...

they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK"

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Dec 02 2020
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What do you call a prostitute that works the crows nest on a pirate ship?

LAND HOE!!!

👍︎ 16
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👤︎ u/SassyTurtlebat
📅︎ Oct 24 2020
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funny crow go brrr
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📅︎ Sep 18 2020
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If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Mar 26 2020
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How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?

"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/Mechanicface
📅︎ Nov 16 2020
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Heard there's a virus going around turning people into crows

They call it CORVID-19

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/RedForkKnife
📅︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two crows flying together

An attempted murder

👍︎ 102
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👤︎ u/xtilexx
📅︎ Aug 20 2020
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Two crows land on a park bench.

They were arrested for conspiring to murder.

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👤︎ u/codenewt
📅︎ Oct 07 2020
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Once I stayed in a crows ridden area...

it was easy to see a murder there daily.

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👤︎ u/abionic
📅︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one crow say to the other 18?

We are corvid-19 (if I get a million down votes, I understand)

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/EliteF36
📅︎ Oct 25 2020
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Crows are very intelligent birds, they even go out for drinks from time to time.

It's called the crowbar

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/Ashnakag3019
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?

Because anything more than one is murder.

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👤︎ u/TeslaFan900
📅︎ Oct 11 2020
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A Fun Fact About Crows [OC]
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👤︎ u/ChumpsLand
📅︎ Aug 21 2020
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If a group of crows is called a murder of crows...

does that mean 2 or 3 would be an attempted murder?

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/SchroederActual
📅︎ Jul 25 2020
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What kind of crows always stick together...

Velcrowes!!!!

👍︎ 14
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👤︎ u/leoniscute
📅︎ Aug 24 2020
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Why are crows so interesting?

Just beCAWse

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👤︎ u/DiamondChocobos
📅︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a noisy group of crows?

A caw-cophony!

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/ravendemyseri
📅︎ Aug 15 2020
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My roommate tried to keep two crows in our apartment as pets.

The cops arrested him for attempted murder.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problems with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about eating the mother of two.

But upon further consideration he was gladiator.

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👤︎ u/AShiggles
📅︎ Jul 12 2020
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I stole seven crows yesterday.

Got away with murder.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What disease do crows get?

CORVID-19.

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👤︎ u/wspoons5
📅︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire

Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.

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👤︎ u/hpbojoe
📅︎ May 12 2020
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Where do crows go for a drink

Crowbar

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👤︎ u/lonelyocean7
📅︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a white crow?

A caw-casian.

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👤︎ u/ArcadeKingpin
📅︎ May 14 2020
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Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around.

I'm pretty sure I have the CORVID.

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👤︎ u/earthwulf
📅︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Dead crows

The Texas Department of Transportation (TxDOT) found over 200 dead crows on U.S. Highway 281 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.

A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).

The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorcycles, while only 2% were killed by cars.

TxDOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorcycle kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"!!!

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👤︎ u/Semujin
📅︎ May 16 2020
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My friend was attacked by a huge swarm of angry crows

The police think it was a murder

👍︎ 17
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👤︎ u/ItalianMJ
📅︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What would they call coronavirus if it was spread by crows?

Corvid-19

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👤︎ u/Grakal0r
📅︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
So if a group of crows killed another group of crows...

Would that be double homicide?

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/jlionbad
📅︎ May 08 2020
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What do you call it when a bunch of crows kill themselves?

A murder suicide case

👍︎ 21
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📅︎ Feb 23 2020
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There are 20 crows standing in a row. One of them is coughing. Which one is it?

Corvid 19.

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👤︎ u/itoril
📅︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two crows sitting on a bench?

Attempted murder.

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👤︎ u/wspoons5
📅︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A group of crows is called a murder, but what do you call a group of really loud crows?

A caw-CAW-phony.

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👤︎ u/SeabaSquad
📅︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My new crow bar
👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/irish1185
📅︎ Apr 03 2020
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What do you call a disease affecting crows?

CROW-VID-19

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👤︎ u/Anonymous8776
📅︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a murder of crows to stick together?

Vel-crow

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Counting Crows should release a song called CORVID 19.
👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/keysnparrots
📅︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My pet crow is awful at poker...

All he does is caw.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/Simounstar
📅︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a group of crows hanging out at the dump

It was a murder most fowl!

👍︎ 16
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👤︎ u/herdertree
📅︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a crow with a jersey accent say to the man about to step into traffic?

"CAW! CAW!"

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/LeWiggler
📅︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call two crows sitting together?

An attempted murder.

👍︎ 31
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👤︎ u/DocDerz
📅︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bunch of crows gathering money?

Crowd funding

👍︎ 14
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👤︎ u/crazyjarvis
📅︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a disease that a crow carries.

CROWna

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/godoge899
📅︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a Crow drive?

A: A Caaaaaa! (The sound a crow makes.)

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/bocaj_reload
📅︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
In order to have a murder of crows, there must be probable caws.
👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/GenuinePenguin12
📅︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report

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