What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
Did you hear about the crow where everytime it makes a noise sornething big happens?
It has a caws and effect relationship
The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...
I bet it would murder the game.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect
What do you call a prostitute that works the crows nest on a pirate ship?
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
What did one crow say to the other 18?
We are corvid-19 (if I get a million down votes, I understand)
Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?
Because anything more than one is murder.
Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problems with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about eating the mother of two.
But upon further consideration he was gladiator.
My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
I saw a group of crows hanging out at the dump
It was a murder most fowl!
It’s not the fear that keeps the crows away... it’s the puns.
What does a crow with a jersey accent say to the man about to step into traffic?
The governor banned gatherings of more than eighteen crows.
They’re supposed to isolate themselves from corvid nineteen.
"The crow seemed to be calling his name", thought Kaw
Why was the crow not at the top of his class?
Saw a bunch of crows wash up on the beach
Must've been murder suicide
What do you call it when a bunch of crows accidentally show up to the same place at the same time?
A group of crows were receiving their PhDs at their college's commencement ceremony when the police showed up.
They were all arrested for third-degree murder.
I was wondering why the collective noun is "a murder of crows".
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away
They always resort to straw man arguments
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
A guy tried to tell me the difference between a crow and a raven is that a crow’s call is “caw” and a raven’s call is “nevermore.”
He was a Poe source of information.
Did you know before the invention of the crow bar...
That crows had to do all their drinking at home.
Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid tail feathers called pinions, while a crow only has 16? The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
What happened to the crows that unsuccessfully tried to form a flock? [OC]
They were charged with attempted murder.
Thousands of crows were driving south for the winter
Why did the tailor pounced on a crow sitting on a well?
I dropped a box of donuts in the parking lots and all the crows are eying them greedily...
Why don’t you ever see crows dead on the side of the road?
They always have a buddy to scream “car, car!”
(An actual joke my dad told)
An old sailor fell from the crows nest.
An old sailor fell from the crows nest onto the deck. He survived. He was used to hardships.
Did you hear about the guy who killed his domesticated crows?
It really was a murder most fowl
"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" asked my son. "Ravens have seventeen wing feathers with the end feather called a pinion, in contrast to crows having only sixteen wing feathers." I answered.
I continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."
Once considered to be holding funerals near a dead crow, now evidence indicates that crows may be examining the body and surrounding area for potential threats to the flock.
It's a murder investigation.
Why did the crows' psychiatrist get sent to jail?
Because he committed a murder!
Police are trying to confirm that a big group of crows killed a man in the park yesterday.
They've opened a murder investigation.
What crime were the gaggle of crows in jail for?
What did the crow say when his friend got run over by a hit and run driver?
Caw the Cawps!
Backstory - my daughter woke up this morning telling me about her nightmare - I was driving her down a road, and kept running over crows in the road, she would look back and would see crows mourning over their friends. We had to keep driving back and forth through the same road because we kept forgetting something at home, along the way running over more crows.
I told her this joke, she didn't think it was too funny. My other daughter thought it was funny though. Now she keeps walking around saying "Caaaaw the caaaaaawps" in a high crowy voice. I'll regret telling her the joke by the end of the day.
The crows all sounded like they sensed trouble
How did the detective find out about the murder of crows?
What's the difference between a Crow and a Raven?
Well you see, a Crow has 4 pinion feathers on their wings while a Raven has only 3. So really, it's just a matter of a pinion.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
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