Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?

It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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What do you call a prostitute that works the crows nest on a pirate ship?

LAND HOE!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SassyTurtlebat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?

"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mechanicface
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?

Because anything more than one is murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeslaFan900
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problems with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about eating the mother of two.

But upon further consideration he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AShiggles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire

Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hpbojoe
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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I saw a group of crows hanging out at the dump

It was a murder most fowl!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/herdertree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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What does a crow with a jersey accent say to the man about to step into traffic?

"CAW! CAW!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeWiggler
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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The crow bar
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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The governor banned gatherings of more than eighteen crows.

They’re supposed to isolate themselves from corvid nineteen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgri0b
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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It’s not the fear that keeps the crows away... it’s the puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ericopolis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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Saw a bunch of crows wash up on the beach

Must've been murder suicide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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Why was the crow not at the top of his class?

B caws.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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"The crow seemed to be calling his name", thought Kaw
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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A crow flies up to a woman on the street.

Crow: Miss, would you donate to my charity?

Woman: Why should I?

Crow: CAW CAW CAW CAW

Woman: What does that even mean?

Crow: Its four a good caws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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What do you call it when a bunch of crows accidentally show up to the same place at the same time?

A manslaughter

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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A group of crows were receiving their PhDs at their college's commencement ceremony when the police showed up.

They were all arrested for third-degree murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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I was wondering why the collective noun is "a murder of crows".

... probable caws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spankleberry
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Why are crows the safest flying birds?

They're the most CAWtious.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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A guy tried to tell me the difference between a crow and a raven is that a crow’s call is β€œcaw” and a raven’s call is β€œnevermore.”

He was a Poe source of information.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterfranciscook
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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Did you know before the invention of the crow bar...

That crows had to do all their drinking at home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spookletonslogs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away

They always resort to straw man arguments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Thousands of crows were driving south for the winter

Traffic was murder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sam_e5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid tail feathers called pinions, while a crow only has 16? The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ROLLTHEWAVE
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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Why did the tailor pounced on a crow sitting on a well?

Because he was a velcro.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saurabhn24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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What happened to the crows that unsuccessfully tried to form a flock? [OC]

They were charged with attempted murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nrith
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
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I dropped a box of donuts in the parking lots and all the crows are eying them greedily...

It's a tempted murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Why don’t you ever see crows dead on the side of the road?

They always have a buddy to scream β€œcar, car!”

(An actual joke my dad told)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meme-Baker
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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An old sailor fell from the crows nest.

An old sailor fell from the crows nest onto the deck. He survived. He was used to hardships.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Intagvalley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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Why did the crows' psychiatrist get sent to jail?

Because he committed a murder!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LottaLottaMusic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Once considered to be holding funerals near a dead crow, now evidence indicates that crows may be examining the body and surrounding area for potential threats to the flock.

It's a murder investigation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who killed his domesticated crows?

It really was a murder most fowl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leviathulu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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"What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" asked my son. "Ravens have seventeen wing feathers with the end feather called a pinion, in contrast to crows having only sixteen wing feathers." I answered.

I continued, "Therefore, it's just a matter of a pinion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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Police are trying to confirm that a big group of crows killed a man in the park yesterday.

They've opened a murder investigation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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What crime were the gaggle of crows in jail for?

Murder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zennok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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The crows all sounded like they sensed trouble

It was caws for alarm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.

There’s caws for alarm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows in the Greater Boston area recently.

There was concern that they might have died from Avian Flu. An avian pathologist examined the remains of the crows, and to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not avian flu. The cause of death was vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the birds beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that nearly 96% of the crows had been struck by trucks, while only 4% were car impacts.

The MTA then hired an Ornithological Behavourist to determine the reason for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills vs car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat roadkill, they have a look-out crow nearby to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah!", none could shout "Truck!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisissami
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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Arrived home from a weekend trip to find a dead crow in the back yard.

Wife: What is that? Me: A dead crow. Wife: What! How did it get there? How did it die? Me: Well, I just see one, so I don't think it was a murder.....

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2014
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A group of ravens chased individual crows until the crows were cornered together

In other words, a conspiracy of ravens premeditated a murder of crows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
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The science of crows

At breakfast this morning: Dad: I was reading New Scientist, and they were looking into how crows can survive swooping in front of vehicles. Apparently they use a sentry, while another swoops in to collect the roadkill.

Me: Oh, that's pretty cool

Dad: Yeah, but they don't dodge trucks.

Me: Why's that?

Dad: well, when the sentry see the car it goes "Caaarrr, caaarrr!". But they can't say truck if they see one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColonelHerro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2013
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How did the detective find out about the murder of crows?

Probable caws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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What's the difference between a Crow and a Raven?

Well you see, a Crow has 4 pinion feathers on their wings while a Raven has only 3. So really, it's just a matter of a pinion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miko93
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2013
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