Why don't vultures check their bags when they fly?

They just take carrion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bondjimbond
πŸ“…︎ May 03
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Why do vultures never check their bags on an airline?

They prefer carrion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rahcled
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjsquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."

The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fearless-Gas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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A Vulture is about to get on a plane.

Do you have any baggage to declare?

No thanks, just carrion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says:

"I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Why don't vultures use airlines?

They're not allowed carrion luggage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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A globe-trotting vulture tried to bring his breakfast and lunch onto the plane

"I'm sorry, sir, you're only authorized ONE carrion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Saw the damnedest thing at the airport. A vulture was trying to board the plane with a dead, rotting animal hanging out of its mouth. Gate agent tried to stop him...

...and the vulture said, "I'm clearly permitted one piece of carrion luggage."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theposshow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Did you hear about the vulture that the TSA trained and hired?

They fired him on day one. He was caught eating carrion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Undershoes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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A vulture boarded a plane carrying 2 dead raccoons. A stewardess stops him...

And said, "Sorry, everyone is allowed only one piece of carrion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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Why did the vulture get charged extra on the airplane?

He had an excessive amount of carrion luggage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Why don’t vultures ever give up?

They just keep calm and carrion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FerioFirmus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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Why to vultures never check any bags before a flight?

They are carryon birds.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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why did the vulture have to check his bag?

his carrion was overstuffed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tequilaphasmas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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Did you know that vultures will only eat animals that are not alive and not silly?

Dead Serious!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saphen-
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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What do airlines call their vulture passenger's luggage?

Carrion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwmillman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Why was the vulture not allowed to board the plane?

They didn’t like his carrion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evadguitar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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How much luggage do vultures carry when they fly?

Just their carrion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeazy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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So two vultures were about to take a flight

the air hostess noticed the rotten meat they had with them and said "hey you cant bring that on board" Vulture" but this is carrion luggage"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladium9999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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What did the vulture bring on the airplane?

His carri-on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Sarcasmic_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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Vultures are always hungry when flying...

...because there's a limit of one carrion bag

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmethvin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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A vulture tried to board a plane

A vulture tried to board a plane carrying two dead raccoons, but the flight attendant stopped it and said, "Sorry, we only allow one carrion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudkipz1956
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2017
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A vulture at the airport

Last week I was flying home from a business trip out of Dallas/Ft. Worth. I'm in line waiting to board and in front of me is a vulture. He's dragging a squirrel carcass behind him in one hand and a dead possum in the other. The line is moving pretty quick until the vulture gets to the ramp and winds up in an argument with the guy scanning tickets. The attendant at the gate says to the vulture, "sir, you are only permitted one piece of carrion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllUrMemes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2017
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Why don't vultures eat while flying?

Because carrion costs extra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M0sesx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2015
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So I said, 'What does the vulture sing to its children at feeding time'?

Carrion my wayward son, of course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tendrin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
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Vultures

I work at a zoo on weekends. We were feeding the King Vultures their meat diets today.

The female almost always gets her meat stolen by the male, so we have to keep the male away while she eats the meat off the exhibit floor.

The other keeper wondered aloud why the male would want her food when he has the same thing waiting on his perch. I said "He must prefer ground beef."

Thank you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rasalom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
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Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, you're each only allowed one carrion."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOgree
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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What kind of luggage do vultures fly with?

Carrion.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Why is it so easy for vultures to fly?

They only have carrion luggage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/voyer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
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