"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
It was murder on my back!
They just take carrion.
They prefer carrion
The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.
"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"
The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
Do you have any baggage to declare?
No thanks, just carrion.
Sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
"I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger'.
They're not allowed carrion luggage.
...and the vulture said, "I'm clearly permitted one piece of carrion luggage."
The airline only permitted one piece of carrion.
"I'm sorry, sir, you're only authorized ONE carrion."
Keep calm and carrion.
They fired him on day one. He was caught eating carrion.
He had an excessive amount of carrion luggage.
And said, "Sorry, everyone is allowed only one piece of carrion."
Because they said I was entitled to 10 kgs of carrion luggage
This is my dad's favorite dad joke.
A teenage T-Rex named Maynard and his father were out looking for dinner.
"Oh hey, dad! Look! A stegosaurus! That'd be good!"
"My Maynard son, no. That would be so hard to chew. There's so much armor there."
A little while later:
"Dad, check it. A big old nest of Pteranadons! Chicken tonight!"
"No, my Maynard son. They would fly too fast, and we cannot reach up there with our arms."
Finally, "Dad! Dad! Check it out! A herd of brontosaurus! It'd be so easy!"
"No, my Maynard son. Brontosaurus ribs take a long time to properly age before they're good eating. Everyone knows this."
The teenage T-Rex stomped and roared, "Daaad, what are we doing? There's stuff right here to eat! What the hell are you looking for, anyway?"
The elder T-Rex shook his head and said, "Carrion, my Maynard son."
They just keep calm and carrion
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The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
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I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
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A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
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I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
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The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
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In a democracy itβs your vote that counts. In feudalism itβs your count that votes.
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When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
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If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
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A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, Iβm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you canβt have your kayak and heat it too.
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Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, Iβve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, Iβm positive.
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
The are too cheap to pay for carrion luggage.
his carrion was overstuffed
Carrion.
The ticket agent asked him if it was check-in or carrion.
They didnβt like his carrion.
One day a young condor becomes disillusioned with his life and declares to his parents, "I'm leaving and never coming home". He leaves and wanders for a few weeks, but as is the way of things, he realizes he has made a mistake. The young condor returns home and begs forgiveness. His parents are simply happy to see their prodigal son return home and welcome him with open wings.
The young condor realizes that he has not eaten much recently and is starving. "What's for dinner?" he asks.
His father replies, "Carrion, my wayward son."
They only allow carrion bags.
It'd be too much carrion'
Just their carrion
the air hostess noticed the rotten meat they had with them and said "hey you cant bring that on board" Vulture" but this is carrion luggage"
...because there's a limit of one carrion bag
A vulture tried to board a plane carrying two dead raccoons, but the flight attendant stopped it and said, "Sorry, we only allow one carrion."
Two falcons are passing through security, each carrying 3 dead squirrels. They weren't allowed to board, though - the airline had a strict limit of two carrions.
Last week I was flying home from a business trip out of Dallas/Ft. Worth. I'm in line waiting to board and in front of me is a vulture. He's dragging a squirrel carcass behind him in one hand and a dead possum in the other. The line is moving pretty quick until the vulture gets to the ramp and winds up in an argument with the guy scanning tickets. The attendant at the gate says to the vulture, "sir, you are only permitted one piece of carrion."
Carrion.
Because they don't allow carrion!
They always made him put their carrion overhead.
Because carrion costs extra.
Carrion my wayward son, of course.
Security asked me why I had a bag of dead squirrels. I told them it was my carrion bag.
The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, you're each only allowed one carrion."
Carrion.
They only have carrion luggage.
Carrion!
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
