Doctor doctor, my stomach keeps making funny noises. It keeps going βHOOT-HOOTβ
Sounds like a wise old bowel.
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︎ Oct 05 2018
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︎ Nov 17 2013
The main purpose of the call-response hooting that many owls engage in is to find and attract a potential mate.
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︎ Mar 29 2021
Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad
Me: I'm a faux pas
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Neighbours outside just had a reveal party. From all the hooting and hollering after the balloon pop...
I can report that they are having an owl
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Ancient South American owls always worked together secretly.
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Wife took a picture of Doctor Hoo
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Did you hear about the owls stand up performance?
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︎ May 20 2021
In my early years I gave my friend an owl
Back then I used to give a hoot.
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︎ May 07 2021
I bought an owl that produces pasta from its mouth when it makes a sound.
I got it at a carb hoot sale.
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︎ May 11 2021
What do you call it when one owl samurai wins a fight with another owl samurai?
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︎ Apr 20 2021
My band only plays dog whistles
You have probably never heard us
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Two owls were sitting in opposite trees and hooting at each other while we were walking on a research trip. My professor earned dad joke gold.
I suggested the male owl was trying to mate with the female. My friend said no, they were probably married and it was a domestic dispute. Our professor said, "maybe someone forgot to pay their owlimony."
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︎ Apr 09 2015
Why don't owls fly in a V formation?
Because if they did they'd be vowels.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Ooooooooh
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︎ Jul 27 2019
I don't trust the owls at Machu Pichu...
I reckon they are all Inca hoots.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
What's the most common form of Owl on Owl attack?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Whatβs the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but canβt hit
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︎ Jun 10 2020
I love owls
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Why did they arrest the owl?
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Just thought of an Owl joke.
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︎ Aug 17 2020
An owl lost its voice.
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︎ Jul 29 2020
Hear that one about the dolphin?
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︎ May 09 2020
How'd the Owl learn maths?
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︎ Nov 21 2019
What do you call Archimedes when he takes a bath?
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︎ Feb 03 2019
A War of Birds
Due to a difference in a pinion, a flock of doves attempted to stage an immediate coo by just winging it. So it wasn't surprising that, after creating an add-hawk unit (which many in the bird community considered fowl play), the eagles' military was just too strong and talonted, and the fledgling, emutional uprising subsequently took a tern for the worst.
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︎ Jul 17 2013
What type of bird has the most compassion?
An owl, because they give a hoot!
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︎ Mar 01 2020
Sheβs outside making owl noises again...
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︎ Sep 15 2018
When I was in Peru, all the native owls worried me,
I think they were Inca Hoots!
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︎ Jan 06 2020
Knock knock
Him: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Him: Who
Me: Who: who?
Him: Are you an owl?
ΰ² _ΰ²
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︎ May 30 2017
I went to an owl party the other day...
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︎ Jul 03 2019
Knock Knock...
Who's there?
There's an owl at the end of this joke.
There's an owl at the end of this joke who?
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︎ Jan 13 2015
When regularly checking in on my bedridden girlfriend
I did my best owl impression, complete with hooting noises and flappy wings, whilst offering tea, backrubs and pillow fluffs. When she finally asked what I was doing I replied "my owly check".
I'd like to say the groan was due to ailment, but it was all me.
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︎ Aug 25 2016
What do you call an owl with a sore throat?
A bird that dont give a hoot.
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︎ Mar 17 2019
Why do owls get invited to parties?
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︎ Jun 14 2019
"Knock knock" "Who's there" "Owls..."
"Owls who?"
"Yes the last time I checked they do"
from my friends dad at a boy scout camping trip. the monotone delivery and a satisfied grin really put the gravy on it.
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︎ Aug 09 2014
I heard a pun about owls ...
... it was a hoot.
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︎ Jun 08 2017
Did you hear about the twin owl murderers?
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︎ Dec 18 2018
From my recent DnD game, in the local tavern
Bard: I take out my lute and start playing
Druid: I take out my flute and join in
Dm: rolls. Everybody loves it. (Paraphrased. Took much longer)
Me: Hey. Where did you keep the flute? Would you say maybe in the brim of your shoe? Like how some keep a knife in their boot? Please, just go with it
So the lute and the flute from the boot was a hoot
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︎ Apr 06 2018
I was in the car with my dad and this gem happened:
Me: βWeβre ten miles from Terre Haute and then another 80 to Indy.β
Dad: βIβve never been to Terre Haute but I bet we could have a Terre Hoot of a good time.β
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︎ Jun 23 2018
What kind of crimes do owls commit?
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︎ Mar 19 2016
What do you call an owl that does magic?
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︎ Jan 21 2018
Did you guys hear the joke about Owls?
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︎ Nov 19 2012
I met this owl the other day...
He wasn't a pheasant bird, but don't get me wrong he wasn't a fowl bird either. He just kept quiet and didn't seem to give a hoot about anything.
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︎ Mar 11 2018
Wife had an owl necklace on and got me
>Me: That necklace suits you because you're so wise.
>Wife: It suits me because I'm a hoot!
groans. So good it hurts.
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︎ Sep 14 2015
Whats the difference between a bad sniper and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but not hit, while the
other one can hoot but not shit.
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︎ Sep 15 2019
Whatβs the difference between a bad sharpshooter and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but not hit and the other can hoot but not shit.
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︎ May 18 2018
Whatβs the difference between a constipated owl and a sniper with a bad eyesight ?
One can hoot but canβt shit while the other can shoot but canβt hit.
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︎ Feb 10 2019
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