Doctor doctor, my stomach keeps making funny noises. It keeps going βHOOT-HOOTβ
Sounds like a wise old bowel.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Oct 05 2018
ποΈ 95
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οΈ Nov 17 2013
The main purpose of the call-response hooting that many owls engage in is to find and attract a potential mate.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Mar 29 2021
Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad
Me: I'm a faux pas
ποΈ 11k
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οΈ Jan 05 2021
Neighbours outside just had a reveal party. From all the hooting and hollering after the balloon pop...
I can report that they are having an owl
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Jun 14 2020
Wife took a picture of Doctor Hoo
ποΈ 19
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οΈ Jan 12 2021
My band only plays dog whistles
You have probably never heard us
ποΈ 99
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οΈ Sep 25 2020
Why don't owls fly in a V formation?
Because if they did they'd be vowels.
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Oct 13 2020
I don't trust the owls at Machu Pichu...
I reckon they are all Inca hoots.
ποΈ 27
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οΈ Feb 05 2021
Two owls were sitting in opposite trees and hooting at each other while we were walking on a research trip. My professor earned dad joke gold.
I suggested the male owl was trying to mate with the female. My friend said no, they were probably married and it was a domestic dispute. Our professor said, "maybe someone forgot to pay their owlimony."
ποΈ 74
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οΈ Apr 09 2015
Ooooooooh
ποΈ 5k
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οΈ Jul 27 2019
What's the most common form of Owl on Owl attack?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Jan 06 2021
I love owls
ποΈ 27
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οΈ Sep 24 2020
Whatβs the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but canβt hit
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Jun 10 2020
Why did they arrest the owl?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Oct 01 2020
Just thought of an Owl joke.
ποΈ 15
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οΈ Aug 17 2020
An owl lost its voice.
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Jul 29 2020
Hear that one about the dolphin?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ May 09 2020
How'd the Owl learn maths?
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Nov 21 2019
What type of bird has the most compassion?
An owl, because they give a hoot!
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Mar 01 2020
What do you call Archimedes when he takes a bath?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Feb 03 2019
When I was in Peru, all the native owls worried me,
I think they were Inca Hoots!
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Jan 06 2020
Sheβs outside making owl noises again...
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Sep 15 2018
A War of Birds
Due to a difference in a pinion, a flock of doves attempted to stage an immediate coo by just winging it. So it wasn't surprising that, after creating an add-hawk unit (which many in the bird community considered fowl play), the eagles' military was just too strong and talonted, and the fledgling, emutional uprising subsequently took a tern for the worst.
ποΈ 55
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οΈ Jul 17 2013
I went to an owl party the other day...
ποΈ 35
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οΈ Jul 03 2019
Knock knock
Him: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Him: Who
Me: Who: who?
Him: Are you an owl?
ΰ² _ΰ²
ποΈ 16
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οΈ May 30 2017
Knock Knock...
Who's there?
There's an owl at the end of this joke.
There's an owl at the end of this joke who?
ποΈ 33
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οΈ Jan 13 2015
When regularly checking in on my bedridden girlfriend
I did my best owl impression, complete with hooting noises and flappy wings, whilst offering tea, backrubs and pillow fluffs. When she finally asked what I was doing I replied "my owly check".
I'd like to say the groan was due to ailment, but it was all me.
ποΈ 406
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οΈ Aug 25 2016
Why do owls get invited to parties?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jun 14 2019
What do you call an owl with a sore throat?
A bird that dont give a hoot.
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Mar 17 2019
"Knock knock" "Who's there" "Owls..."
"Owls who?"
"Yes the last time I checked they do"
from my friends dad at a boy scout camping trip. the monotone delivery and a satisfied grin really put the gravy on it.
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Aug 09 2014
Did you hear about the twin owl murderers?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Dec 18 2018
I heard a pun about owls ...
... it was a hoot.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Jun 08 2017
I was in the car with my dad and this gem happened:
Me: βWeβre ten miles from Terre Haute and then another 80 to Indy.β
Dad: βIβve never been to Terre Haute but I bet we could have a Terre Hoot of a good time.β
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Jun 23 2018
From my recent DnD game, in the local tavern
Bard: I take out my lute and start playing
Druid: I take out my flute and join in
Dm: rolls. Everybody loves it. (Paraphrased. Took much longer)
Me: Hey. Where did you keep the flute? Would you say maybe in the brim of your shoe? Like how some keep a knife in their boot? Please, just go with it
So the lute and the flute from the boot was a hoot
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Apr 06 2018
What do you call an owl that does magic?
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jan 21 2018
What kind of crimes do owls commit?
ποΈ 29
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οΈ Mar 19 2016
Did you guys hear the joke about Owls?
ποΈ 15
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οΈ Nov 19 2012
I met this owl the other day...
He wasn't a pheasant bird, but don't get me wrong he wasn't a fowl bird either. He just kept quiet and didn't seem to give a hoot about anything.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Mar 11 2018
Wife had an owl necklace on and got me
>Me: That necklace suits you because you're so wise.
>Wife: It suits me because I'm a hoot!
groans. So good it hurts.
ποΈ 94
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οΈ Sep 14 2015
How did the owls get away with the heist in Machu Picchu?
They were Inca Hoots.
My friend proudly told me how he got his daughter with this one.
ποΈ 23
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οΈ Nov 06 2016
Found my girlfriend's missing owl earring
Me: "You'll get a hoot out of this." hand her the earring
Her: "I was wondering where this went!"
Me: "Well now you have owl of them."
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Mar 06 2017
Whats the difference between a bad sniper and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but not hit, while the
other one can hoot but not shit.
ποΈ 75
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οΈ Sep 15 2019
Whatβs the difference between a bad sharpshooter and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but not hit and the other can hoot but not shit.
ποΈ 113
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οΈ May 18 2018
Whatβs the difference between a constipated owl and a sniper with a bad eyesight ?
One can hoot but canβt shit while the other can shoot but canβt hit.
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Feb 10 2019
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