With friends like that, who needs enemas?
Same shit different day
...My ass cheeks.
He replied, "She'd be super helpful since she's a HOE."
It was the work of fart.
Because he kneaded a poo.
I think his plans are Nerfarious.
he has license to poop
I hate my job as a plumber.
All i said was that i don't give a shit
A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time
I said “Diarrhea for sure”.
She said I wish you would put as much effort into life as you do your shitty jokes. It wasnt even that bad.
The man on the news said "...in the run up to christmas stores are already announcing record sales" I said "thats not news HMV* announces record sales everyday".
*HMV is a music shop.
Scared the daylights out of the people in the frozen food section
The dude who i took it from got a restraining order
Because he’s a stable genius.
This just happened to me lmao. I'm here with my wife and 5 y/o daughter about to sit down and eat.
Daughter: what movie are we going to watch. (We mentioned maybe watching one earlier) Me: it's this new cartoon movie called nunya
Literally 1 second later Daughter: nunya business.... Me: DDAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG
What an awesome feeling lol
How can I wipe the slate clean ?
I present to you my ass cheeks