Shit Puns

A list of puns related to "Shit"

Shit pun
👍︎ 20
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👤︎ u/dickstrongmanduval
📅︎ Apr 28 2019
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Holy shit!
👍︎ 25
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👤︎ u/lifeOf3_14159265
📅︎ Jun 01 2021
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A literally shit post XD
👍︎ 85
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👤︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
📅︎ May 26 2021
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Because I always take my shit to the next level
👍︎ 595
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👤︎ u/no_bill
📅︎ Feb 23 2021
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My friends love scaring the shit out of me.

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

👍︎ 18
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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ May 21 2021
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I like to shit at 11:59pm and end at 12:05 am

Same shit different day

👍︎ 43
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👤︎ u/miked66666
📅︎ Mar 12 2021
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No wonder he did a shit job
👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/Mr_Karma_Whore
📅︎ Apr 06 2021
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What do you call the fake shit you use to wash your hair?

Sham poo.

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/cobblecloth
📅︎ Apr 08 2021
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I can't believe after all that SHIT they are getting back together!

"Who"

...My ass cheeks.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/MikeOWave
📅︎ Apr 19 2021
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So, earlier I was replanting my succulents and I offhandedly mentioned to my fiancé I'd like to do gardening shit with my sis...

He replied, "She'd be super helpful since she's a HOE."

#mypunssucc #punnyshit

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/queefyqueen_j
📅︎ Feb 28 2021
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Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
📅︎ Jan 23 2021
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No shit.
👍︎ 64
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👤︎ u/CaramelLow8561
📅︎ Dec 30 2020
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Why did the painter shit on the floor?

It was the work of fart.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/EnderiusX
📅︎ Mar 11 2021
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Why did the baker smell like shit?

Because he kneaded a poo.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/rasta__mouse
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
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A guy I know just bought a bunch (almost a shit-ton) of soft foam footballs and kerosene...

I think his plans are Nerfarious.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 18 2021
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Only two things make me forget about all the shit that's going on with my life. Comedy and......

Alzheimer's

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/aritra_001
📅︎ Mar 01 2021
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What do you call a reptile that's always starting shit on social media?

An instagator

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/oneiroknots
📅︎ Feb 12 2021
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why did Jim Band shit the bed???

he has license to poop

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/CaptainAmerilard
📅︎ Jan 26 2021
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I’ve been going through a lot of shit lately

I hate my job as a plumber.

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/movetoruqqus
📅︎ Jan 17 2021
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My friend said that it is bad to keep shit in me too long

All i said was that i don't give a shit

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/Lmaobio
📅︎ Jan 02 2021
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Boyfriend is sick of my shit lol
👍︎ 17
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👤︎ u/ellaAir
📅︎ Sep 27 2020
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I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog shit

A lady came up behind me and slipped as well, I said I just did that, she slapped me and said use the toilet next time

👍︎ 109
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👤︎ u/mrjaxson1111
📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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Today my friend asked me “What kinda shit would make you want to stay home all day?”

I said “Diarrhea for sure”.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/El-Tarzan
📅︎ Jan 17 2021
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The most holy of shits
👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/LuanGaff
📅︎ Nov 26 2019
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I just told a dad joke so shit my wife shouted at me and stormed off (not a joke)

She said I wish you would put as much effort into life as you do your shitty jokes. It wasnt even that bad.

The man on the news said "...in the run up to christmas stores are already announcing record sales" I said "thats not news HMV* announces record sales everyday".

*HMV is a music shop.

👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/mitcheg3k
📅︎ Oct 28 2020
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I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:

Deja poo.

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/A_Scribbler
📅︎ Dec 27 2020
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Shit my first turkey this morning.

Scared the daylights out of the people in the frozen food section

👍︎ 19
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👤︎ u/Boreddudemo
📅︎ Oct 24 2020
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Shit is going down... imgur.com/1jTkIBf
👍︎ 28
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👤︎ u/djeclipz
📅︎ Jul 17 2020
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There's just shit on TV
👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/nanushthedog
📅︎ Sep 26 2020
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The most holy of shits
👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/LuanGaff
📅︎ Oct 25 2019
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Dung Beetles know how to keep their shit together
👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/LeiuqezE54
📅︎ Aug 23 2020
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He has seen some shit...
👍︎ 35
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👤︎ u/rectangularbear
📅︎ Jul 16 2020
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OH SHIT
👍︎ 244
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👤︎ u/PeAceNfuCk
📅︎ Feb 26 2020
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I took a shit today

The dude who i took it from got a restraining order

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/bllop-a-doop
📅︎ Aug 01 2020
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A shit joke
👍︎ 66
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👤︎ u/prabeshdai13
📅︎ May 10 2020
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How did Trump manage to turn all his horse shit into a presidency?

Because he’s a stable genius.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/joeChump
📅︎ Aug 23 2020
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So no shit here I am

This just happened to me lmao. I'm here with my wife and 5 y/o daughter about to sit down and eat.

Daughter: what movie are we going to watch. (We mentioned maybe watching one earlier) Me: it's this new cartoon movie called nunya

Literally 1 second later Daughter: nunya business.... Me: DDAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

What an awesome feeling lol

👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/haagimus
📅︎ Jul 31 2020
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I don't know shit about fuck
👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/aditya_uddagiri
📅︎ May 28 2020
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What's the best way to clean up fake shit?

Sham Poo

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/BadA55Name
📅︎ Sep 12 2020
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My wife is mad at me because I took a shit on the roof...

How can I wipe the slate clean ?

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/Ginja_101
📅︎ Aug 15 2020
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I know a couple who has been through so much shit and is still together

I present to you my ass cheeks

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/giceman715
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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I like to shit post every once and awhile.
👍︎ 126
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👤︎ u/Aztec_Reaper
📅︎ May 11 2019
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