poop puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wierdio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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The local dragon regularly poops hundreds of pounds of ore directly into the sea.

It's a gross waste of resources.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Impybutt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
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Poop jokes aren't my favorite jokes

But they're a solid #2

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExLaxMarksTheSpot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
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I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants

but he's still making fun of me

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
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Asian girls don’t poop...

...they take dumplings.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
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As a dad of boys, poop is always a solid conversation topic.

Sometimes, not so solid, either.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astucker85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
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What Do You Call Ghost Poop

Boo Boo

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Puberty2or3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
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A man has to poop and has no toilet paper his friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back with poop on his fingers...." Why is there poop on your fingers"

" it's hard to wipe with 3 quarters 2 dimes and a nickel"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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Why did the piece of poop try to join the Army?

He felt it was his patriotic doody!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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What do you call disappearing poop?

Gonorrhea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jetmover78
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Even though my baby poops a lot, I feel like the life lessons he’s been teaching me are invaluable.

He’s a great tooter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fkedifiknow
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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What do you say to a person who eats poop?

Bon Apeshit.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PigeonDonut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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Just had to do a quick poop.

I guess you could say I had the runs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asbestos_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
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Do you make a mess when you poop your pants?

Well, it Depends

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyCosmonaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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Eat burp fart poop
πŸ‘︎ 564
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AkshayyChavan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop.

I guess you could say it's a pet peeve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meta_pun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
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I was sitting on the toilet having a poop when the clock struck midnight

Same shit, different day

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlashHash
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of joke

but they’re a solid number 2

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th7rtyFour
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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When Jesus poops, is it a holy shit?
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Douche_McCracken
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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When Pinocchio poops is it called a dowel movement?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hockeyjmac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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My Alphabet soup took a poop the other day

Vowel movement.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpaceManBalls83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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What do you call a loud poop?

A cacaphony.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiskeyBadger_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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Poop on the walls? POOcasso
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wavynibba
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?

It’s just plain common scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes...

...but they’re a solid number two.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatstrat228
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
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What do you call a slow moving poop?

A turdle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigstinky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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I was going to make a poop joke...

But it was too corny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants

but he’s still poking fun at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Son, when you walk the dog you have to pick up its poop

It's your doo diligence!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ctrlaltdelmarva
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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Why do birds poop and pee out of the same hole?

Why do birds poop and pee out of the same hole?

Because they eat with their pecker!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coughdrop1989
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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If your dog poops...
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acadiel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
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That’s some gay poop
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TigerForce007
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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My five year old: Dad, do trees poop?

Me: Of course. That’s how we get Number 2 pencils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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"Poop everywhere"

Son had taken off his diaper this morning and decided play with his poop. It was literally everywhere. As we are all (wife, daughter, and I) cleaning up and getting him clean I hear coming from the bathroom, which has only my daughter (13) and my son (11mo.)

"What a shitty morning"

I couldn't even be mad. I couldn't have been more proud of her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epicarvllyn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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Back in medieval times, they used to make computer mice out of the poop of giant flame breathing reptiles...

...surely you've heard of the "dragon drop" interface.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants…

But he’s not buying it.

In fact, he’s still making fun of me.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Always poop before you go for a jog.

Otherwise you might get the runs.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AZREDFERN
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop?

Doing their doodie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sean_the_head
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Today, I saw a squirrel poop for the first time in my life.

That shit was nuts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he fell in a hole right an top of some dog poop?

Well shit.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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My coworker thinks it's amazing that I go poop at the exact same time every day.

I keep telling him I'm just a regular dude.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lapants
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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Where does a largemouth poop?

Out its basshole.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moisgreat
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the lawyer say to the poop?

Sewer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDS327
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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Why is it ok to wash your hair with fake poop?

Because it's just a sham poo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes arent the best

But they're a solid #2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathDeystroyer1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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I had to wait to poop until my girlfriend used the bathroom first.

I'm just glad she spoke now, instead of forever holding her pees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSpanishSteed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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I had a dog who couldn't poop. So I named him

Vegas. Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHappy317
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
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I told my dad I was going to take a poop

He said β€œIt would be better if you just left one”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KaijuChicken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes arent my favorite

But they're a solid number 2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdelisle321
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
You should really pick up your dog’s poop

It’s your doo diligence

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I've never laughed at a poop joke

They're always crappy

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TDN-ThickDickNick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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I can swallow two peices of string and my poop will be tied in it

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeetboy66
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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My god doesn't poop or pee in the yard.

I pray to dog that he finally will.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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I’m keeping track of every time I poop on an app...

Does that mean you have to log it?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talmagecorey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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My wife was out for a run and said she had to take an emergency poop in the woods. I want to believe her...

But I think it's a load of crap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingnebwsu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes, But thy are a solid number two.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lxrge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
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My friend just told me that he makes thousands of dollars selling dog poop.

I said, β€œThat’s gross.”

He said, β€œNo. That’s net.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm dreading the upcoming holidays because I know dad's gonna tell us all about the bear and the rabbit who were taking a poop in the woods...

The bear asks the rabbit, "You ever have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says, "No."

So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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When can a sentence poop?

When it has a colon.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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I’ll just poop this here. πŸ’¨πŸ’©πŸ’¦ reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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What do you call the Pope's poop?

holy shit

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aashmeh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
If a bear poops in the woods, where does his friend the sheep go?

The baathroom.

new dad with first OC dad-joke. Soooo overly proud of myself and my wife gave the perfect eyeroll in response to it this morning

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shawn-fff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Why was the tiny poop yawning?

It was a little turd.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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What do you call overalls with poop in them?

Dungarees!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StellarLime911
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I was finally able to poop after days of being constipated.

I am feeling less crappy now.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/6cldcs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you need in order to poop in the woods?

Toilet trees.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ptomb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone told me they were tired of my poop jokes

But I can't help having a crappy sense of humour

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Chalk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried to explain my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants,

but he's still making fun of me.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smandalofficial
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I was sitting on the toilet and having a poop when the clock struck midnight.

Same shit, different day.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren't my favorite

But they're a solid #2

πŸ‘︎ 341
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaseth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes

But they’re a solid number two.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes are not my favorite kind of jokes, but they are a solid number two
πŸ‘︎ 331
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite :(

But there a solid 2 :D

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marc_20_21_02
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite, but they’re a solid number 2
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moogly2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren't my favorite

But they're a solid number 2

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/miggy420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite

...but they are a solid number two

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrott806
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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