A little boy asks his dad, "Do trees poop?"
The dad says, "Of course. Where do you think #2 pencils come from?"
Winnie the Poop (not a traditional dad joke)
This is not a traditional /r/dadjokes with a delivery and a punchline.
I just wanted all dad's, with kids around 2-6, to know that changing the name of Winnie the Pooh to Winnie the Poop will generate maniacal laughter from your kids. Especially if you combine it with singing the theme song from the movie.
As an added bonus, there is no statute of limitations on when you add the extra P. You can say:
Winnie the Poop
Winnie the Pooh...P
Or Winnie the Pooh...... ...... .... P
And your kids will laugh just as hard.
I've gone a full minute without saying the last P, while my kids hang on my every facial movement.
Enjoy
I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but he’s not buying it. In fact...
He’s still making fun of me...
My kid told me he had a problem. He was afraid of the toilet, but really had to go poop.
I told him it'll work itself out.
Where does Batman go to poop?
What do Scottish people call their poops?
Three guys: Shutup, Manners and Poop are speeding down a road
They crash and Poop falls out. Shutup runs to the nearby police station asking for help. A policeman asks “What’s your name?”
“Shutup”
“Excuse me? Where are your manners?” the policeman replies
“Out on the road scraping up Poop!”
Did you know that fake poop is good for your hair?
Yeah, its called sham poo.
Got offered a voice-acting role in the new Emoji movie sequel. They want me to play the Poop Emoji. People say I should accept the role and be grateful, but I’m holding out for a classier part...
...I will not be deterred!!
At the local donation center, only one guy donated anything, and it was a box of poop!
But hey, at least he gave a shit.
What do you call it when you poop backwards?
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes...
But they’re a solid number 2!
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
Do trees poop?
Of course they do. That's how we get number 2 pencils.
-Edit-
Thanks for the awards guys! 😊
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard, and taking poops on my flower bed.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
I have a busy morning at work, but had to take a poop...
I ain’t got time for this shit.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of shit.
Asian girls don’t poop...
If you poop in your sleep
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
Anyone I ever dated was impressed when I told them I liked to relax on my poop deck.
They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.
How does poop keep track of it’s thoughts and feelings?
Diary-uh or a log. Depends how sappy...
I'm never trying to make poop jokes
...but sometimes that just how it comes out.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
Realizing you have to poop
Body: I have to poop
Brain: you’re so full of shit
Turns out our washing machine DOES have a “baby poop” setting.
It’s called “Heavy Doody.”
What do you call a poop car?
A man has to poop and has no toilet paper his friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back with poop on his fingers...." Why is there poop on your fingers"
" it's hard to wipe with 3 quarters 2 dimes and a nickel"
As a dad of boys, poop is always a solid conversation topic.
Sometimes, not so solid, either.
The local dragon regularly poops hundreds of pounds of ore directly into the sea.
It's a gross waste of resources.
What Do You Call Ghost Poop
I was sitting on the toilet having a poop when the clock struck midnight
Did you know that trees poop?
That’s where #2 pencils come from.
Do trees poop?
Of course, that’s how we get number 2 pencils....
Poop jokes aren't my favorite..
Poop jokes aren’t my favourite kind of joke
Poop jokes aren't my favorite
But they're a solid number 2
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite type of jokes
But there a solid number 2
Poop jokes aren't my favorite jokes
I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants
but he's still making fun of me
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