My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River

I told him thats bat shit in Seine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chilidog0572
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Did you know that Owls don’t defecate?

They have Owl movements.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Did you know you have to urinate before you can defecate?

Because every poop starts with a P.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Umdron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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It is said that male cows don't defecate

But as you See this is bullshit

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaku2201
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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My best friend says she doesn't defecate.

I told her she's full of shit.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Am4ndaPlz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2017
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Why can't Microsoft Excel properly defecate inside a small jar?

Because it spreadsheet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HOLY_S-HIT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2016
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Ah I love a good self-defecating joke

I shit myself every time I tell one!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZackAshM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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My defecation is on a different elevation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashmann95
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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Two dogs were walking down an empty highway. One of them stopped and defecated in the middle of the road.

When he was finished, he looked at the other dog and said, β€œClean up that mess.”

The other dog sniffed the pile and said, β€œNope. That’s your asphalt!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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I tried the world's most expensive coffee, Kopi Luwak, made with part-digested coffee cherries eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet

Now every other type of coffee is un-civet-lysed

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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My cousin is an aspiring plumber. He asked me how to be successful.

"Hard work and defecation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simounstar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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My wife says she can usually tell when our baby is pooping because he's laughing so much.

I guess he just has a self defecating sense of humor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s7evenofspades
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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I've got a bad case of gastro and have been making diarrhea puns...

my wife told me to stop, but I replied that I enjoy self-defecating jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tokyo-dawn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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They put up an out of order sign on the washroom door...

Or, as they call it, a no-defecation notification.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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I'm suing Ex-Lax...

...for defecation of character. That is of course my constipational right. It's better than sitting on my stool and doing nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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When you make someone laugh so hard they literally shit themselves.

Self-defecating humor is the best.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frameRAID
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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A friend joked about the time he soiled himself

I've always liked his self-defecating sense of humor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wein33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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Shit coffee

A year or two back, I was at this coffee farm in Hawaii. In the store, where they sell their coffee, I noticed a jar of Kopi Luwak on display (for those you that don't know, it's coffee that's eaten and defecated by an Asian civet). Because it's kind of a rarity, I was surprised that had a jar of it just sitting on the table. So I asked the older man that worked there if Kopi Luwak was something they sold there. He says, "No, we don't sell that shit here." I died a little inside.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubanise
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2014
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Jokes about pooping your pants:

Self-defecating jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoxGens
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2015
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