Urinate Puns

A list of puns related to "Urinate"

Before I join a contest, I always make my dog urinate on a photograph of the other contenders.

It gives me a leg up on the competition.

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👤︎ u/BubzTheDeranged
📅︎ Apr 02 2021
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Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.

I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.

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👤︎ u/banditk77
📅︎ Dec 03 2020
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Why don’t you ever hear a pterodactyl urinate?

Because the pee is silent....

Credit my buddy Cameron.

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👤︎ u/witty-repartay
📅︎ Sep 17 2020
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I am terrified of people who urinate quietly.

After all, all psychos have a silent p.

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👤︎ u/alleyooptojames
📅︎ Aug 05 2020
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Pterodactyls evolved a way to urinate without making any noise.

Their P was silent.

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👤︎ u/hitokirizac
📅︎ Jul 14 2020
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My girlfriend told me she needs to urinate.

I replied - Urinate out of 8.

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👤︎ u/filthy-fuckin-casual
📅︎ May 24 2020
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I'm trying to find new friends who like to urinate together...

I need a new pee-er group.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jun 30 2020
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I had a friend who knew when people felt like they want to urinate...

He had ESPee.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ May 26 2020
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What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people?

Egos everywhere.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Mar 11 2020
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Did you know you have to urinate before you can defecate?

Because every poop starts with a P.

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👤︎ u/Umdron
📅︎ Oct 26 2019
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What do you call it when an animal urinates on a ruler?

A centi-peed

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👤︎ u/HeartBreakKid99
📅︎ Dec 07 2018
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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👤︎ u/banjowashisnameo
📅︎ Oct 02 2018
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"I need to urinate...

or is it meinate?"

"I'm leaving."

"I'm dad."

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👤︎ u/Teapotsalty
📅︎ Apr 11 2018
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Last night I met a girl and said urinate. But when I woke up it turns out...

I metaphor.

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👤︎ u/neuroghost
📅︎ Oct 22 2013
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why did the man urinate into a kettle full of dried fruit?

He wanted to go on a hot date.

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👤︎ u/Ardovikian
📅︎ Apr 18 2016
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What do you call an insect who urinates once a century?

A centipeed.

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👤︎ u/MaroonAndOrange
📅︎ Mar 04 2016
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate?

Because the p is silent

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👤︎ u/Hatersgonnahate26-if
📅︎ Mar 27 2019
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You can never hear a pterodactyl urinate

Because of it's silent "p"

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👤︎ u/GalacticSlim3
📅︎ Jan 07 2019
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You'll never hear a Psychiatrist urinate

The pee is silent

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👤︎ u/Gee_Soulomon
📅︎ Aug 20 2018
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate

because the "P" is silent.

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👤︎ u/You_cant_be_Sirius
📅︎ Oct 28 2018
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